Name a Perfume after Me

I could almost buy into the idea that Elizabeth Taylor had a perfume created on her behalf, White Diamonds. Even though the ad probably shows Elizabeth some 20 years ago, she is a dame, and she was once a bigger than life movie star. Since I finally got over her breaking up somebody else's marriage, I can appreciate the work she did to raise money for AIDS--before this cause was generally accepted.

Elizabeth's ad is pure class. She says, "These have always brought me luck." She does not have to try too hard to be appealing.

Would I buy her perfume? No. Why would I want to smell like Elizabeth, when I'm my own person?

Psychiatric Drugs and Mass Shootings

How many more innocent people will be shot and killed by someone gone mad on psychiatric drugs? When hearing that a shooter--like the 19-year-old male who murdered eight people in a Nebraska Mall--has been under psychiatric care, please read between the lines.

Anyone on psych drugs--anti-depressants, tranquilizers, anti-psychotics, or anti-seizure drugs--must be consistently monitored. The effectiveness of these drugs is always hit and miss. And stopping any of these drugs abruptly can create the worst possible scenario.

Dancing with the Stars: Who Should Win?

Maks should win. Well, I mean....Mel B. (AKA Scary Spice) and her professional partner Maksim Chmerskovkiy should win. I had a crush on Maks until I realized he is younger than my own son. Still, he is fun to watch, whether he shaves his chest or not. And I'm happy to see that he got paired with a celebrity who can dance, and can dance very well.

I've had fun watching Mel B., who is spirited and confident. Yet, she is modest and grateful--or would seem so. And, wow, has she lost some weight or what? She had a baby not long ago.

I was a bit disappointed in Mel and Maks last night. I voted for them because they still dominate the competition. There is something about both of their routines that did not flow smoothly. Does anyone know who selects the music? One of the professional dancers implied that they do not get to choose, and sometimes I wonder how anybody would want to dance to some of these music selections. For instance, last week Mel and Maks did the Pasa Doble--a Latin dance--to the song "Satisfaction."

Feeling Very Thankful

I am thankful for the handful of readers who visit my blog. I took a short writing hiatus, and I'm ready to use this blog again as an opportunity to play with words and to express my thoughts.

I am thankful for my improving health; I once again see the world through clear eyes, and I can live in the NOW, appreciating many things, great and small.

I am thankful that my son used cancer as a gift, a wake up call to shed his boyhood and stand as a man. I recognize him as his mother's son (the son who learned the values I taught him), but SO MUCH MORE. He is strong, determined, and he has reached a place in his life where he admits his mistakes. He stands undefended. How many people can do this?

Sensuality of Food

I've been cooking more and writing less. This blog is a show-and-tell about my life. I share opinions and stories with photos whenever I can. I'm working on my picture-taking as well.

I made these Lamb Kabobs last night. Lord have mercy. These are so delicious. I can hardly maintain myself. My Greek family is big on lamb. My brother and my son have mastered the art of barbecuing. Here is my contribution to the barbecue experience.



To accompany the lamb, I steamed brown rice with onions and put zucchini and tomatoes in the top tier of the steamer for the last 10 minutes. The meat is also great served in a flour tortilla.

My Favorite Reality Shows

A reality show no longer needs to be a guilty pleasure. After all, there must be hundreds of them on the air by now. Each show is on a spectrum of "reality." The editing often determines the likability of each participant. And often, the situation is structured to create tension and even hostility between contestants. Some "reality" shows, like The Hills, for instance, are obviously scripted.

However, here are some shows that I highly recommend, beginning with my favorite: Dancing with the Stars (ABC) is beginning its fifth season on Monday, September 24, 2007. Past competitors have shown determination and great skill in learning difficult postures and moves. These moves require flexibility, especially on the part of the women, and the younger contestants have an obvious advantage here.

In this show, a professional ballroom dancer is paired with a famous person who may know how to dance, but is no expert in ballroom dancing. Past winners include actress Kelly Monaco from General Hospital, Drew Lachey from boy band 98 Degrees, football great Emmit Smith, and skater Apolo Anton Ono.

Michael Vick Should Get the Max

When I began writing Text Me Some Apple Pie, I made a conscious choice not to bash people. Individuals who dominate pop culture news and even mainstream news behave badly. But rather than contribute to keeping some people famous, I usually focus on those whom I admire.

There is a difference between being judgmental and taking a stand on one's beliefs. American Heritage defines judgmental as "inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones." I try not to make personal judgments. After all, I have a whole life to manage, without focusing on how others should live there lives.

But maybe I'd stink as a therapist because I'm outspoken about certain moral behaviors. And this is why I speak out and condemn Michael Vick. I hope the judge gives him the maximum sentence on December 10, 2007. Please see my blog of July 27, 2007, called Sad Life for Pit Bulls.

Kathy Freston's Transformational Meditation: Healing

After trying several relaxation and healing tapes/CD's, I have found one that I value so much, I want to shout it to the world. If you "are in pain, have been diagnosed with a disease, or have general malaise," this CD is for you.

I first saw Kathy Freston on Oprah, discussing her book on relationships called The One. After the show I purchased the book because I thought it would help me shed baggage that prevents me from attracting the right person. Unfortunately for me, the book is designed for someone who is already in a relationship. The premise of the book is that what you put into the universe, you will attract back. I have put this book aside and will do the exercises in it at some point in my future.

But Freston impressed me so much that I looked for other writings by her. Lo and behold, I found her transformational meditation CD's and I purchased two: One on relationships and the other one on healing.

Ali MacGraw Yoga Mind & Body

If you’re a baby boomer, you may remember Ali MacGraw in Love Story. She was also married to film producer Robert Evans and later to actor Steve McQueen (the man’s man). Ali also garnered attention for her minimalist sense of style, wearing little makeup and shiny pulled back hair.

Here's a photo of Ali the movie star.



For me, the best thing she did was take an interest in yoga. Another great thing she did was to team up with yoga master Erich Schiffman. In Ali MacGraw Yoga Mind & Body, Erich Schiffman leads some advanced students while they follow his soothing voice, doing yoga positions in stunning white sand.

You must be an advanced student to keep up with this DVD and to do all the positions. But I still think it’s the best yoga DVD or video ever made. You probably won’t be able to do all the poses (I cannot). However, I love the continuous flow of the exercises. The explanations are not redundant and a waste of time. Erich Schiffman’s beautiful and commanding voice helps me relax and focus on what I’m supposed to do.

I have to refrain from expecting a lot from myself. I can dream of being as flexible as the participants on the DVD. Ali MacGraw is so darn flexible that I’m guessing she has done yoga most of her adult life. There are cast members to represent various age groups and races. They are all graceful and flexible like dancers, moving from one pose to another. One of the members is Jennifer Grant, daughter of Dyan Cannon and Cary Grant, when Jennifer was a bit younger (1994). What a stunning and graceful girl.

Instead of feeling frustrated or competitive with the experts, I try to focus on the beauty of their movements so that my mind can memorize the poses, and hopefully this manner of viewing the DVD will help with my muscle memory eventually.

The video shots are stunning. The DVD is a visual delight for anyone to watch. I’ve seen nothing comparable.

The best way to do yoga is to repeat poses or to take the time to breathe into them. Other videos move along too fast to give you this opportunity. There is danger in hurting yourself unless you slowly warm up. You must breathe into the pose, giving yourself the chance to slowly push yourself into stretching a bit more each time.

Ali MacGraw Yoga Mind & Body has a nice variety of different poses, enough to create the right balance and to cover most parts of the body. The DVD—which was originally a VHS video—has been divided into chapters or tracts, making it easier to skip sections if necessary. But I recommend watching the sections you skip while continuing to do your breathing.

The longest sections are sun salutations that move right into a downward facing dog series. The series of poses repeats, giving you an opportunity to improve each time. Another long section is called the Standing Pose Flow that includes the triangle pose and similar positions done on each side. I will post a blog and throw a party the day I can do these positions without losing my balance.

This DVD is more advanced than many. But I still recommend it to everyone who is interested in yoga. Make no mistake that you can hurt yourself doing yoga, if you’re not careful. One of the purposes of yoga is to develop a relationship with your own body by feeling your way through the positions and waiting patiently for signals to push yourself further. It is always necessary to proceed with caution, only doing the poses you can do without stretching your body further than it wants to go. It is surprising how fast you can gain flexibility with persistence.

The New Age percussion and music add to the atmosphere and peacefulness of the DVD. Erich Schiffman’s narration—the specific words he uses in his instruction—help the listener go deeper into each pose, both mentally and physically. If you like yoga, you’ll enjoy this DVD. If you’re not a fan of yoga, buy the DVD anyway.

Why I Love Paula Deen

There was a time when I thought cooking was a job for the unliberated woman. As I've said before, I once let my views on feminism stifle my freedom. At this great time in my life I love to cook, and I'm crazy about the Food Network.

I had thought that the Food Network only chose trained chefs to host their shows. I enjoy fancy cooking, but thanks to Paula Deen, I see that unpretentious foods that are a part of American culture, especially Southern culture, can be deeply satisfying to prepare and to eat. Paula calls dishes like fried chicken and potato salad "comfort foods."

I just finished reading Paula Deen: It Ain't All About the Cookin'. What an inspiring story. What an inspiring woman. Paula married before she was twenty. Shortly afterwards, each of her parents died of illness. What surprises me the most about Paula is that she suffered from agoraphobia and panic attacks. For many years, she was housebound.

During this time, her husband rarely maintained a long-term job. Her family--including her two sons--struggled to keep a roof over their heads. Eventually, with the help of her sons, Paula sold home-cooked lunches to nearby businesses.

Paula Deen comes across as down to earth, funny, bawdy, sensible, and very brave. After spending hours in the kitchen with her mother, aunt and grandmothers, Paula learned to cherish her family recipes and traditions. She eventually made a career for herself--and her sons--working long hours in her Savannah, Georgia restaurant.



I can't help but feel I know Paula after reading this page-turner. I read all 304 pages in a couple of days. Paula left me feeling that I can age gracefully without pretense. She found true love and got married the second time in her fifties. After years of living in near poverty, she now has a successful restaurant, two popular shows on the Food Network (Paula's Home Cooking and Paula's Party), and she has sold thousands of cookbooks.

Several great recipes are included in this memoir, such as pan-fried corn and split-pea soup. I am inspired to cook, to try, and to maybe even love again.

Here's why I love Paula Deen: She is a nurturing woman who considers food a sensual experience. As we baby boomers age, we need to redefine how we view ourselves as sexual/sensual beings. I have come to realize that cooking is not only an art, but it is a gift to give and receive. Cooking can be an intimate experience shared between two people.

Cooking is also an activity to do with the grandbabies. Beautiful aromas wafting from the kitchen create memories for the little ones.

Paula Deen is not your typical television host. To a Californian (me), she has a strong Southern accent. She says "you all" or "y'all" a lot. She is a robust, white haired woman who finds much to laugh about. She is a late bloomer who pulled herself up again and again, and she reaps the rewards of her efforts.

Taking Photos at Filoli

Yesterday I was fortunate to do two of my favorite activities: strolling through flower gardens and fruit orchards, and taking photos during this venture. My sister Nicky and I went to Filoli Estate in Woodside, California, and we probably spent a couple hours touring the 16-acre English Renaissance style garden. And then we walked through the Georgian Residence and browsed in the Filoli gift shop.

Filoli was designed and built between 1915 and 1917 for Mr. and Mrs. Bourn, prominent San Franciscans whose chief source of wealth was the Empire Mine in Grass Valley, California. The formal garden was originally planned and planted as construction of the house neared completion. The lawns and shrubs around the house were planted by the fall of 1917. The woodlands surrounding the estate provide a beautiful backdrop for the garden.

After both Mr. and Mrs. Bourn died in 1936, the estate was purchased by Mr. and Mrs. William Roth, who owned the Matson Navigation company. Under their supervision, the maintained gardens gained worldwide recognition. Mrs. Roth lived at Filoli until 1975. She then donated the house and formal garden to the National Trust for Historic Preservation.

Today the garden is maintained by fourteen full-time horticulturists, student interns, and over one hundred volunteers.

The house on the estate is worth seeing, but my interest lies in the garden. My sister doesn't enjoy taking "cheese" pics of people; she'd rather catch someone unaware, immersed in their surroundings. Here I am, trying to get a nice shot without visitors traipsing through my photo.



Here I am again in all my glory, surrounded by Mother Nature's perfume and color wheel. Nicky took both these photos with her Nikon D40X. I spent the afternoon coveting my sister's camera. Have I mentioned she's my older sister? Haha.



Filoli has a pleasant but pricey cafe. Since we paid $12 each to enter and $5 to cross the Hayward/San Mateo Bridge, we brought our lunch and ate in the car. (Filoli does not allow visitors to bring food onto the property.) Nicky prepared delicious sandwiches for us made of tri-tip roast and seasoned tomatoes. I brought potato salad and banana bread. We made sure to eat before we started our walk. As baby boomers, we've finally learned to take care of ourselves before our blood sugar takes a sudden dip and we become too cranky to enjoy ourselves. We had a great time.

I took this picture of the "Sunken Garden" with my Kodak EasyShare V803.



My Kodak is a handy gadget that fits in my pocket. I rarely leave the house without it. But, as I said, I love my sister's Nikon that has a rapid shutter speed that will take up to three pictures per second. My poor little Kodak lags so much that whenever I take pictures of my grandchildren, the kids are long gone by the time the shutter releases.

Okay. I confess. After the trip to Filoli, I came home and purchased the Nikon D40X from Amazon. When I get proficient at using it, I'll review it and post a link.

In the meantime, I highly recommend--for anyone living in the San Francisco Bay Area--spending the afternoon at Filoli: (650) 364-8300. And you can read all about Filoli here.

A Sad Life for Pit Bulls

Michael Vick--quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons--and three other men are alleged to have run a dogfighting ring on a 15-acre estate in the rural area of southeastern Virginia. In addition to being charged for this brutal and bloody sport, Vick and his buddies are alleged to have executed losing and under-performing dogs by electrocution, hanging, drowning and shooting.

I find this story more than upsetting. Sickening, nauseating. How does someone take one of God's creatures and abuse it? This is a rhetorical question, I guess, as the only answer is that anyone involved in dogfighting does not cherish or respect dogs. Or as my mother used to say, "Marsha, never trust a man who would hurt an animal."

This was good advice from my mother, as we've seen that when serial killers--like Jeffrey Dahmer--were children, they engaged in torturing animals. I don't think I'd want to know how Vick and the other adult defendants treat women and children.

In American justice, one is considered innocent until proven guilty, so maybe Vick has been accused of something he didn't do. If he is guilty, I hope he loses his career and goes to prison, as any violence against Pit Bulls affects every dog of that breed and every owner of that breed.

Because dogfighting is more popular than I personally want to consider, many Pit Bulls must be destroyed. Once rescued by Animal Control, they are no longer viable pets.

If I'm walking my dog and someone is walking toward me with his Pit Bull, I will cross the street or step off the path. But I will also do this when I see someone with a German Shepherd, Rottweiler, Doberman, or any other potentially aggressive breed, until I see that the dog owner has control over his or her dog.

I own my third German Shepherd. Research and experience tells me that untrained and unsocialized dogs with aggressive tendencies can be vicious and dangerous. I'm a German Shepherd lover, but had trouble with my own dogs until I got myself educated. These dogs make great pets but their territorial tendencies must be channeled with lots of exercise and exposure to all kinds of situations so that few people and situations are deemed a threat.

Working with dogs and dog handlers, I've seen Pit Bulls that are wonderful pets. They are sweet, strong, smart, and very loyal dogs that want to please. Like the Shepherd, they need exercise to get rid of pent up energy. They need exercise to get rid of boredom. Some famous people who love their Pit Bulls are Rachel Ray, Jessica Biel, and John Stewart.

There's a legitimate question about the Pit Bull's inability to release it's jaw, once it has locked onto an arm, leg, or neck. Some history of the Pit Bull breed and more information on jaw locking can be found at Wikepedia. As for Michael Vick, we shall see how the charges against him play out.

I'll Miss Pete Wilson

San Franciso Bay Area broadcaster Pete Wilson died on July 20, 2007, of a heart attack during hip replacement surgery at Stanford University Hospital. He was 62 years old.

A nightly television news anchor for ABC, Wilson was also a regular radio talk show host at KGO-AM (810). He had won five Emmy Awards, a Peabody award, and various other national and local awards. Politically, he was a self-proclaimed independent.



I will miss Pete Wilson and his smooth and pleasing voice. His presence modestly commanded a combination of comfort and respect, not unlike that of Peter Jennings. We rarely realize that a media person who disseminates information can become a big part of our routine and our lives.

I personally wonder what might have gone wrong during Pete Wilson’s surgery. Besides needing a new hip, he had seemed otherwise healthy. According to Chapin Day, a spokesperson for the Wilson family, Wilson's heart attack was caused by an unknownn coronary blockage. No one seems to know what triggered the heart attack so soon after surgery began. I will update this blog, should additional information be released.

Wilson lived with his family in Mill Valley. He has one college-age son. According to Wikepedia, he was a voracious reader and oil painter who loved golf. His career on the air spanned three decades. The Bay Area does not feel or seem the same without Pete Wilson.

Rest in Peace, Tammy Faye

Tammy Faye Messner died Friday morning. I did not see her last appearance on Larry King Live, but I read summaries of her interview, and I read her last post of a couple days ago on her page TammyFaye.com.

I normally think it's in bad taste to pronounce someone's impending death, as I did in my last blog. I thought more than twice before saying what I said. After reading her last letter to her supporters and fans, I thought, If anyone can come back from near death, it would be Tammy Faye.

She kept her sense of humor until the end. She also knew that she was headed toward the arms of God. I commend Tammy for her strength and guts and faith. My good friend Janice died in 1986. Memory of her courage and faith has stayed with me all these years. And I think of her whenever I find myself hospitalized.

People die as they live, and those who go with courage, set examples for those of us they leave behind. My father also had unwavering faith, and he died how he lived, on his own terms. People who leave us on their own terms give us a gift. They somehow comfort us, instead of the other way around. And they give us an idea how we might go forward when it's our turn.

This is really about Tammy Faye, an imperfect person who got the most important things right. She didn't give up. She fought. She laughed. She believed. She did things her way (and her interpretation of God's way). She pulled herself up after several "failures."

Many people loved her. You can't do better. I will remember Tammy's courage always. She has joined that rare club with my father and my friend Janice, those who have shown me how to navigate illness and death.

Thank you, Tammy Faye. I know you're with Jesus, and I know you're at peace.

Tammy Faye: Too Ill for Television

Yesterday I flipped the remote to check out Larry King Live. The guest was Hulk Hogan, but Larry had just taped an interview with Tammy Faye Messner, which I believe will air today. He showed an excerpt from the interview.

Let me say first that I'm no stranger to ill or injured people. I spent time with my mom when she was in ICU and when she was dying. I spent time as a patient in ICU after sustaining, what they called, serious disfiguring injuries. (I look fine now, but my family was unable to recognize me at that time.) I also volunteered at the trauma center at Eden Hospital in my town. I can hold the hand of sick or injured individuals, and if I feel squeamish, I can pull myself together for someone who is suffering. I'm no lightweight when it comes to health matters.

Back to Larry King Live and Tammy Faye. I was in utter shock to see Tammy Faye. At 65 pounds, she is literally skin and bone. She is dying of cancer, and she is too ill for television. I've always enjoyed Larry King, but I believe his show is exploiting someone who is too ill to realize that she no longer resembles herself.

What is the purpose of airing a show with someone so ill? I hate to say this, but Tammy Faye's image is frightening to me. Years ago when I'd been banged up in a bus accident, I did not allow reporters in my room. I did not wish to share my deepest suffering with the local media. I was afraid to let my 10-year-old son visit me, as my image might upset him. My son and I both survived, but in retrospect, my appearance wasn't as frightening as Tammy Faye's. My situation was full of hope as I improved each day. This is a hard pronouncement, but Tammy Faye is, in fact, withering away, and now she is withering before the cameras. And for what purpose?

I was once critical of Tammy Faye and the whole Jim Bakker and PTL scandal. And what woman in America wouldn't like to get hold of Tammy Faye's makeup and give her a makeover? She has always had a pretty face--with too much mascara and misplaced eyebrows.

Although Tammy Faye has battled cancer several times in recent years, she has remained steadfast in her faith in God. And during the worst of times she kept her sense of humor and her positive attitude. Surprisingly, she became someone I deeply admire. She is one strong woman.

Maybe Tammy Faye approached Larry and asked to make a public appearance. Maybe she wanted to thank the public for supporting her through trying times. Maybe after several appearances on the show, Larry and his staff's interests are honest but misguided. I hate to think this interview is for ratings.

STILL, SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE STOPPED THIS INTERVIEW FROM BEING VIDEOTAPED.

I wrote to the show, and asked them not to air the interview. That's all I can do. I debated about writing this blog, as I'm calling attention to the show. Curiosity sometimes draws us to look at misery. For instance, it is sometimes human nature to slow down to see traffic accidents. But if you read this blog today, I suggest bypassing the show. I will not be watching.

I'd be curious to hear from anyone on this subject, especially from someone who has lost a family member to cancer or from someone who has had cancer. Do I seem insensitive to Tammy Faye? I hope not. I would like to protect her and help her keep her death (dying) private.

Edit: July 19, 2007 @7:44 p.m.You can post prayers and good wishes to Tammy at: Tammy's Page.

More Comments on The Loved Dog

Please see my previous review of The Loved Dog by Tamar Geller. Now that I finished reading the book, I will comment a bit further.

If you have experience raising and training dogs, the author’s point of view is fascinating. Her training methods may work on all dogs—if the owner can invest much time and consistency with training. She makes a good argument against inflicting physical discomfort on dogs.

The Loved Dog does not address problems with aggressive dogs, and I’m not sure if her methods would be effective, unless they were used when the aggressive (breed) dog was still a puppy. You can teach an old dog new tricks. But it takes dedication and commitment.

A dog takes physical cues from its owner. In my opinion, the owner must communicate superiority with some kind of physicality. For example, you can prevent a big dog from jumping on you by raising your knee to block him from making contact with your lap or chest. Or you can force a dog to sit by pushing on his rear with all your fingers tips—being careful not to injure the dog’s hips.

These physical cues are some of the ways to demonstrate that you can physically dominate your dog. You can get him to mind by using your superiority over him, instead of hitting him with a newspaper or jerking him harshly with a choke chain. Physical communication is a vital component of dog training but does not stand alone.

Playing games with the dog and having training sessions strengthens the bond between dog and owner that further instills a trust in the dog. And I think this is the author’s main point. The Loved Dog is mostly about establishing and maintaining a relationship with your dog.

If you have dogs and love dogs, Tamar Geller's point of view worth reading. But this book doesn’t give basic advice like potty training or crate training. There are also books available with more games and dog tricks.

In retrospect, the book is partly an autobiography of the author. In addition to surviving a difficult childhood, she has led a colorful life in Israeli Intelligence. Afterwards, she spent many hours observing wolves in their own habitat. Her love of dogs and her own methods of dog training demonstrate her own kind soul, and this is what she imparts to the reader.

Squamous Part Trois

In previous blogs I described my challenge of having a squamous cell carcinoma, a type of skin cancer. I also described my experience, having Mohs Surgery, the most effective procedure (statistically) to remove all cancer cells. My procedure was on June 19, 2007. I will post photos of my healing scar at about three months post-surgery.

Yesterday I got my bill from Dr. Ting, my dermatologist and surgeon. Holy guacamole! Who would think it so costly to have a few cells removed from a cheek? I have a large deductible on my medical insurance. As cancers go, my experience hasn't been bad, but. . . .

Last night Dr. Ting phoned me. When I noticed his number on my caller I.D., as the phone rang. . . .well, I'm familiar with the drill by now. I have another squamous cell carcinoma on my opposite cheek this time, underneath my eye.

My original purpose for seeing Dr. Ting was to have unsightly--albeit small--precancerous bumps removed. My desire was to beautify myself.

So far, every time I leave Dr. Ting's office, I look beat up and patched up. I've been waiting for my last procedure to heal, along with the tiny wounds I have from removed skin tags, warts and moles, that Dr. Ting likes to call "barnacles of wisdom." And now I need another cut that requires a surgical flap to cover the small crater that is created by the excision of the cancer cells.

I feel a bit foolish. There's a good chance that the application of nitrogen--which is far less invasive and far less expensive--could freeze the cancer cells off my face completely. My face would look a whole lot better, and my finances wouldn't take such a hit.

What if doing nothing is all I need to do? Would these cancers really spread? I've opened Pandora's box and can't seem to close it.

Dr. Ting says that if it were his daughter or sister with skin cancer, he would recommend Mohs Surgery. I believe him but can't help notice that with nine Mohs Surgeries, he's making over $20K in one day, and I feel stuck without a choice.

To be fair to Dr. Ting, I'm leery of doctors in general. I wouldn't have him as my doctor if he hadn't demonstrated skill, patience and kindness for me as his patient. But what if we discover a third cancer? We haven't even begun to work on my neck and back. Dr. Ting tells me that Mohs Surgery would not be necessary on areas other than my face. He could simply make a cut.

He has suggested a chemical peel to me many times as a preventative measure. The cost: $500. Not a moneymaker for him. I am researching the side effects of the chemical peel, and when my face has healed, I will probably take that step. At that time I will describe the procedure and post before and after photos.

To be continued. . . .

The Loved Dog

I’m reading a great book called The Loved Dog: The Playful, Nonaggressive Way to Teach Your Dog Good Behavior by Tamar Geller. I saw the author on Oprah, and admire her and her approach to training dogs. Geller witnessed the harsh training of dogs while she was in Israeli Military Intelligence. Later, her observation of wolves in the wild taught her about the inborn instincts of dogs. She eventually opened the first doggie daycare, where dogs spend their days kennel-free. I’m about halfway through the book but wanted to comment now.

I have a long history and background with dogs. My first two German Shepherds were more than I could handle because I made so many mistakes right from the beginning. I got them, four years apart, from short-term backyard breeders, and I took them home too soon (at five weeks). Also, the parents of my first dog would have killed me if they had been let loose, and I was too ill-informed to think that lineage mattered.

Having a big dog, especially one of the more aggressive breeds, is a job for experienced dog handlers only. Big dogs grow very fast, and if they’re not socialized from the beginning—before and during their adolescence—they will become overly territorial, and they will often become fear biters. A big dog needs lots of exercise.

Because I had difficult dogs, I eventually found a dog trainer to help me. After Travis died, Bruno was alone in the yard without his pal. I needed to be able to walk him down the street without getting dragged whenever he decided to engage with a passing dog. I was lucky to find Sallie, who’d been a K-9 officer with BART. She taught me much about the nature of dogs, which is pretty simple. Dealing with dogs is much like dealing with toddlers: consistency, love and positive reinforcement are the recipe for success.

I went on Sunday dog walks with Sallie and her dog trainer friends, and I took two of her classes—surrounded by other dogs—and my dog Bruno was able to pass his Canine Citizenship Test, which requires self-control and good behavior. He eventually could heal without a leash (sometimes) and complete a half-hour downstay without getting up, even when other dogs distracted him. You can teach old dogs new tricks.

Back to Tamar Geller, the author of The Loved Dog. Geller doesn’t believe in using prong collars or choke chains on dogs. I can’t imagine walking my huge GSD’s without a prong collar. But now I have Xena, my only German Shepherd, who is four. I got Xena from a top-ranking breeder. I visited the kennels in Chico, CA ahead of time and got Xena as a pup at eight-and-a-half weeks. She was bred to be a good pet, and she minds well most of the time. She is smaller than my boy dogs. Maybe I can attach the leash to her ID collar and forgo the choke chain. Hmmmm. Something to consider.

My first year with Xena was full of socialization and training, but everything came to a halt because I got ill. She has always gotten plenty of attention from me, but we are now just getting back out into the world together, and I realize how very easy she is to work with. Here's Xena below:



Xena is a partly-trained dog that needs much more socialization. I’m getting good ideas from Geller on how to strengthen the bond between her and me, now that I’m not so wrapped up in myself. I’ve been playing “find the toy” with Xena, and I’m surprised at how quickly she finds things that I hide. She seems to be tracking with her nose already. Our games with inspire more of Xena's trust in me, and she will be confident in more social situations.

When Sallie was training me to handle my dog Bruno, she taught me the Alpha Rollover. This is a method they use to train K-9 dogs. As I recall, they let the K-9's in training run out into the yard. They are not allowed to overly engage or attack each other. And if they do, the dog handler will pin the dog to the ground and stare the dog into submission.

Although, Sallie and I had used the Alpha Rollover on Bruno to get control over him—believe me, it’s a lot of work for a small person like me—Geller is abhorred by this method. She thinks trainers who use the Alpha Rollover are brutal. Yet, I know that Sallie loves dogs every bit as much as Geller. By the way, this method is usually used while a dog is muzzled. (Don't try this at home.) And I should say that Bruno had already bitten me once, and he’d lunged at two other people while he attempted to bite them. So I was saving his life by re-emerging as alpha and getting some kind of control over him. It was my job to protect him from making mistakes that couldn't be reversed.

Xena already knows that I’m alpha in the family. This is the most important principle in raising any dog, no matter what the size. Some dog owners don’t concern themselves about being alpha over their small dogs, and this is a big mistake. Since my grownup son moved out, my house is quiet. I do not raise my voice with Xena unless she’s in danger. She easily picks up on my quiet tones and body language. And since I’m a more experienced dog handler, I know how to throw my weight around—literally—when I’m with my dog. I walk and move like I have more prowess than the little person I really am.

I should add that little dogs can cause a lot of chaos in the home and in dog parks. Two little dogs in the park used to attack Xena, while the owners sat idly by. When Xena tried to defend herself, she’d look like a bully. When the owner of a small dog picks the dog up after it has misbehaved, this reinforces the small dogs’ bad behavior. All dogs need obedience training and socialization. All dogs need to know that their owner is alpha. This relationship is similar to toddlers feeling more secure when their parents set limits. These are simple concepts that take some work in following through.

Geller relies much on hand signals. My dog already knows “sit,” “down,” and “stay,” without my using words. Geller has the reader take stock of words the dog already knows. She says that dogs can easily learn fifty words.

Geller describes training methods that are new to me. She suggests teaching a dog to sit while (the human is) in a standing position, kneeling position, and lying down position. For dogs that jump on visitors, she suggests having the visitor turn their back on the dog. (My brother swears that there is no correcting this bad behavior with his dog Sam; we shall see.)

I’ve read many dog training books and watched videos as well. My favorite so far are by The Monks of New Skeet. The Monks used to breed German Shepherds for sale, and they too have a gentle philosophy.

Meanwhile, I’m working and playing with my dog, as I get more ideas from The Loved Dog by Tamar Geller, which is a great book. I will write a followup to this blog—or a bragfest on my successes.

The Word on Sunscreen

My goal for this blog entry was to give basic advice on using sunscreen:

1. How does sunscreen work?
2. What ingredients do I look for?
3. What are some recommended brands of sunscreen?

There are some differences of opinion on this topic, so I’ll give very basic information.

Sunscreen protects the skin from ultraviolet light, which can cause sunburn. Ultraviolet (UV) light can produce long-term damage, such as premature skin aging and skin cancer.

The ingredients to look for in sunscreens are titanium oxide or zinc oxide, which reflect the UV light. Avobenzone and oxybenzone (sometimes called “helioplex”) absorb the UV light.

The American Academy of Dermatology recommends using a sunscreen with a minimum SPF (Sun Protection Factor) of 15. After finding cancer cells and precancerous cells on my face---see The Word is Squamous and Squamous Part Deux---my dermatologist wants me to wear SPF50. SPF indicates the time a person can be exposed to sunlight before getting sunburn with a sunscreen applied relative to the time they can be exposed without sunscreen. Say what?

For instance, someone who would burn after 12 minutes in the sun would expect to burn after 2 hours (120 minutes) if protected by a sunscreen with an SPF of 10. However, the effectiveness of sunscreen depends upon how often you apply it, what type of activity you’re engaged in, and what type of skin you have.

If that doesn’t confuse you, here’s another school of thought. Research has shown (one bit of research) that a population known to have worn sunscreen actually had more incidents of skin cancer than the average population. It is suggested that some of the ingredients in sunscreen can cause cancer.

Others believe that while sunscreen blocks UV rays, it also prevents the skin from absorbing vitamin D—which is vital in the body’s utilization of calcium.

The pro-sunscreen group, which includes dermatologists and the Skin Cancer Foundation, suggests that everyone wear sunscreen beginning at the age of six months. Use of sunscreen is recommended for all races, including African-Americans. Use of sunscreen is also recommended on overcast and cloudy days.

I wonder why so many people get skin cancer nowadays. Is it because we live longer? I also wonder if thousands of people have skin cancer and live their lives without knowing it. Maybe the cancer only spreads once it’s cut or aggravated in some way. Obviously, some skin cancers spread vigorously, dangerously and fatally. But I wonder about the tiny ones, like the squamous cell carcinoma that I had removed. What would have happened if I’d done nothing? It was teensy, but I had it removed anyway. I still wonder....

I played in the sun as a kid. I got a pretty good suntan maybe two or three summers of my young adult life, when I still had time to lie in the sun. One summer, while getting ready for my 20th high school reunion, I had at least 10 visits to a tanning bed. I think that using the tanning bed caused my skin cancer.

Http://www.skincancer.org says that all sunscreens should have the Skin Cancer Foundation Seal of Approval. Here’s a list of effective sunscreens, approved by the Skin Cancer Foundation.

I tend to be sensitive to cremes. I had to remove the first sunscreen that I tried (Coppertone Water Babies), because the scent bothered me. I now see that this brand contains none of the required ingredients that block UV rays. Yet, the front of the bottle says, "No. 1 Pediatrician Recommend Brand." I now use unscented Neutrogena Healthy Defense Daily Mosturizer SPF 45 with helioplex. My dermatologist says this is a good one. Yet, today I read the active ingredients and there is no titanium oxide or zinc oxide.

The Neutrogena brand has no seal from the Skin Cancer Foundation, but it has a seal from the American Cancer Society, and it says, "The American Cancer Society (ASC) and Neutrogena, working together to help prvent skin cancer, support the use of sunscreen. The ACS does not endorse any specific product. Neutrogena pays a royalty to the ACS for the use of its logo."

Maybe this is Neutrogena's explanation for not using titanian oxide or zinc oxide, as the Skin Cancer Foundation is a separate entity from The American Cancer Society. Hmmmm. Maybe I'd better find yet another sunscreen that is unscented, with all of the recommended ingredients.

This is what I choose to do with this information: I keep a hat and some sunscreen in my car at all times. I will avoid getting a sunburn at all costs. I’d rather protect my face with a hat, but I will use the sunscreen in moderation. If I go for a walk, I’ll probably just wear a hat. If I’m spending time at the beach or on the golf course, I’ll put sunscreen all over, and mine will be SPF45 or 50.

Your Drug May Be Your Problem

It seems like everybody’s taking Prozac, Zoloft or some other antidepressant. Well, maybe not. But we all know somebody who is. At least one of the Columbine shooters was on antidepressants (Eric Harris was on Luvox). These drugs may help some people but they make other people crazy. Taking a mind altering drug is like playing Russian Roulette.* Here's an article that lists the many killings done by individuals on antidepressants.

Drugs and Mass Shootings

You may assume that these killers all had serious problems before they took these drugs. But all too often a patient who is given a drug to cope with mild depression has a bad reaction to the drug. This reaction may occur over time in a patient that is not monitored adequately by a doctor. And no one recognizes the problem until it's too late.

Drugs to alter our moods are common today. The drug companies are making a bundle of money while we are their guinea pigs. Many consumers have a naive sense of security, believing that we’re protected by the FDA. I urge anyone who takes a mood altering drug, or loves someone who takes a mood altering drug, to read Your Drug May Be Your Problem: How And Why To Stop Taking Psychiatric Medications by Peter Breggin, M.D. and David Cohen, Ph.D.

How does anyone know how drugs affect the brain? The idea that Prozac corrects a chemical imbalance is purely a guess. However, it is a proven fact that Prozac causes a disruption of the normal firing of brain cells. No one who knows the research can dispute this. Drugs like Prozac, Ritalin, or Xanax destroy the brain’s capacity to function properly on its own.

How long does this disruption last? No one has the answer to this question because there is no long-term research done. All research to approve a drug is conducted over short time periods.

Your Drug May Be Your Problem describes adverse effects of various psychiatric drugs, including antidepressants, stimulants, benzodiazepines (tranquilizers), mood stabilizers, neuroleptics, and others. If you are taking a mood altering medication, please read about the side effects of your particular drug. Often the patient believes (or is led to believe) that their “chemical balance” has gotten worse, when it is the drug that is causing the problem.

Aren’t we protected by the FDA? The FDA relies on data that the drug companies have assembled, organized, pruned and interpreted. Using only this data, the FDA makes its risk/benefit analysis. The FDA almost always ends up making compromises in order to accommodate industry. This process is called negotiating with the drug companies. It is kept entirely secret from doctors and consumers alike. The risk/benefit ratios are never determined by the patient.

Here is Peter Breggin, discussing antidepressants on The O'Reilly Factor:

Peter Breggin on You Tube

Breggin and Cohen have written a solution-oriented book. They describe some of the side effects of withdrawing from these drugs. They suggest guidelines to help therapists offer patients a more balanced view of using drugs, and, finally, they give sound psychological principles to help patients learn to feel better so that a drug may be used as a last resort.

*Sorry if this is P.I. The phrase illustrates a point.

Dyson Is a Feminist Issue

As a young woman, I boycotted cooking and cleaning. Feminism was in full swing, and I wanted more out of life than menial jobs that were relegated to women. Someone had to cook and clean; when I had to do it, I refused to enjoy it.

Through the years I've shed the contraints I put on myself in the name of feminism and realized that I love to cook. Most of the men in my life are great cooks. I exchange recipes with my brother and with my son who's a professional cook.

Do I also love to clean? Not necessarily, but like most people, I feel more comfortable and emotionally uncluttered in a tidy and clean room.

Enter the Dyson brand vacuums. Awhile back, my cleaning lady brought her Dyson to my house, and she was kind enough to try vacuuming the back of my car, as nothing would remove the dog hair. It took her awhile because German Shepherd hair gets embedded in the fabric, but the car looked pretty dang good.

I don't have the luxury of a cleaning lady right now, and I decided to invest in a Dyson vacuum. I'll say right now that the Dyson brand is expensive. But Dyson is in a category of its own. There are vacuums and then there is the Dyson. There are several dog hair models. Mine is the D14.



The first time I used the D14, I had already vacuumed my family room, which is about 9 x 12 feet, with my other vacuum. With the first pass, I filled up the whole bagless chamber with dog hair. I have grandbabies and don't like them crawling or lying in dog hair. Working with the right tool makes a difference, and I can truthfully say that I love to vacuum, using the Dyson.

I've tried various methods to pick up dog hair. With previous vacuums, I had them repaired regularly because the dog hair clogged them and put too much stress on the motor. If the Dyson gets sluggish, I glance at the see-through chamber and see that it's full of dog hair. This basket is simple to change.

The Dyson is cleverly designed. When it is totally upright, the suction comes out of the top that hooks to the attachments. When the Dyson is tipped backwards in vacuuming position, the suction comes out of the base on the carpet or floor. The permanent hose miraculously stretches far enough to vacuum the stairs. The D14 is relatively easy to carry upstairs, especially with the basket removed.

One caveat: I noticed that the cleaning lady's Dyson was getting a little banged up. She may have been throwing it down the stairs or using it for a doorstop. It might not be built to shove in and out of a trunk. It has plastic parts. But I've had my D14 for probably a year, and nothing is broken, nicked or scratched.

I consider my Dyson an investment, so I shopped around. At that time, the price was the same everywhere: at the Dyson site itself, at Costco, and at Walmart.

On my blog I like to share things I like a lot (I'm the Oprah of blogland). My blog is not a store, but I do post links to items I write about. If I don't own it and love it, I don't write about it or post a link to it.

I'm posting a link below to Amazon. You can read about the hepa filter, the mini-turbine head, and the lifetime filter. I often find good deals at Amazon. At the time of this writing, the D14 costs less at Amazon than at Costco or Walmart.

All the Dyson models are similar. If you buy one for your family, everyone will want to use it. Warning: Don't try using the Dyson to vacuum bathroom rugs. The suction is too strong.

Death by HMO

Today is the nationwide release of Michael Moore’s documentary Sicko. Maybe I’m a dreamer, but I hope this movie is the catalyst for the long-needed change in our medical system. No matter how much attention Sicko garners, it’s still up to all of us collectively to stand up and be counted, and refuse to tolerate conditions as they are. In a “civilized” country such as ours, the medical care is often far from civilized. In a country (the USA) that prides itself in technological advancement, our medical care really isn’t “care” at all.

If you’ve never been exposed to medical negligence or indifference, you are vulnerable to betrayal. Caring doctors and nurses are out there, but we can’t assume the professionals know best without us asking many questions and doing our own research. People often question their auto mechanic more than they question their doctors.

One family’s fight to reform the medical system is documented in an excellent, but gut-wrenching book, Death by HMO: The Jennifer Gigliello Story. This book is written by Dorothy Cancilla, a bright and feisty woman, who learned the hard way how callous and incompetent some medical providers can be. Cancilla’s book documents her daughter Jennifer’s eight years of painful illness that eventually led to a premature and avoidable death. Jennifer (below) died four days before her 30th birthday.



I’m amazed at how much information and detail is compiled into this 132-page book. The reader gets an education on the human body, and the tragic errors made by doctors at every turn become very clear.

I can’t imagine helplessly watching my daughter suffer, as Cancilla was forced to do. She and the rest of the family tried everything they could to support Jennifer and help her make the right decisions. Their biggest mistake was daring to think that doctors and Kaiser Hospital had Jennifer’s best interest at heart.

Jennifer’s problems began with frequent abdominal pain and vomiting. While doctors debated about the cause of her suffering, she trusted her doctor who literally butchered her (let’s tell it like it was) by removing her pancreas, instead of her gallbladder. Jennifer, who was somebody’s mother, wife, daughter and sister, tried to live a normal life around many hospital stays and surgeries. Cancilla portrays her youngest daughter as heroic. Anyone reading this book will fall in love with Jennifer, but what pulls at my heart is Cancilla’s loss—a mother’s loss—that never goes away. She honors her daughter and husband by writing this book.

Death by HMO documents medical negligence and indifference but also shows how truly callous some businesses can be for the almighty dollar. In Jennifer’s case the greed of the HMO set off a chain of events that affected her life––and her death—which in turn devastated her family. While viewing Jennifer in her casket, her father Lou Cancilla had a heart attack and died. Dorothy Cancilla and her family lived through a horror show, barely hanging on, in a daze, wondering which family member might be next as they survived two funerals.

To add more insult to much injury, Kaiser Hospital (and members of it) promised to release the facts of the cause of Jennifer’s death, only to hide the autopsy until the courts intervened.

I love Dorothy Cancilla. What a mom she is, and one tough cookie. She did not disappear in her grief, but joined the family in suing Kaiser; and then she later wrote this book. Although the family was triumphant in winning a lawsuit against Kaiser, I’m disappointed that the law limited their financial compensation—received by Jennifer’s husband and son—to a whopping $125,000. Of course, no money really compensates for suffering and loss of life. But at least the judgment in the case allows the author to legally and openly state that Kaiser was at fault.

People need to know what can happen to any of us once we put ourselves in someone else’s hands. We must advocate for ourselves and our loved ones. We cannot assume that the doctor is always right. We have to keep in mind that the only body we have has to last us a lifetime. We are the ones who are affected by wrong decisions. Ultimately we must consider the medical professionals as part of our team. They are expert consultants and sometimes gifted surgeons. But even the most dedicated doctors are imperfect, not God-like. Even decent medical people may be cajoled into betraying their patients by the HMO who pays their salary.

Death by HMO will surprise and dismay you. But you will be inspired by the courage of Dorothy Cancilla and her family. This story has all the elements for a great movie.

Squamous Part Deux

On Tuesday June 18, Dr. Ting removed the tiny carcinoma from my left cheek. The procedure only required one pass--to remove cancerous tissue to be examined under the microscope. When Dr. Ting returned from the lab, he asked me if I wanted to see the incision ("excision" is more precise). I normally prefer to be involved in my own care as much as possible, but I didn't have the heart to see the results.

A soft paper cloth draped over my face caused me the most discomfort. The purpose of the cloth was to keep the wound sterile. Feeling smothered is a personal quirk of mine, but it was no big deal, and no pain whatsoever was involved otherwise.

Stitching the wound required more time than anything else, partly because the skin needed further cutting to compensate for the gap made by the vacant hole. Dr. Ting made some sketches of potential cuts he could make as part of Mohs procedure that I previously described.

Here are Dr. Ting's sketches:


Holy guacamole, Batman! Can't you just spackle the hole, instead of making it bigger?

I'm usually a control freak about my medical care. But since my dismay about getting my face cut made it difficult for me to picture minimal scarring, I asked Dr. Ting to do what he thought best. Mohs procedure is a bit bizarre. The idea of making a relatively big incision in order to keep scarring to a minimum is hard to grasp. You can judge for yourself whether you think it works or not by viewing the photos below.

The biggest problem in dealing with skin cancer has been the inconvenience of the surgery and the $2000-deductible I have on my medical insurance policy. Once I removed my bandage a few days later, I looked like Frankenstein's distant, distant cousin.

Day 6 before my office visit:


I suffered no discomfort, getting the stitches removed. I had opted not to take antibiotics for this procedure. And when I found out that the topical antibiotic ointment was $48 a tube, I did not buy the prescription. I kept the wound very clean and used the topical ointment that Dr. Ting gave me.

Day 6 after the removal of my stitches:


In two weeks I return to Dr. Ting to get more moles and precancerous bumps off my skin that are typical to baby boomers who worshipped the sun when we were young, especially here in California.

If anyone reading this gets skin cancer, I'd try not to worry. A melanoma is more likely to cause problems than a squamous cell carcinoma or a basal cell carcinoma. Early detection of all of these is the key. It is definitely time to wear a hat when I go for a hike, play a game of golf, or work in the yard.

Dr. Ting swears by sunscreen with an SPF rating of 50 or higher. He also recommends that I get a chemical peel to remove other recancerous marks on my face. I will research both these topics and post what I decide here on this blog.

Google Your Name

In 1997 my first book was published. I recently wondered if the book would still show up if someone Googled me. So I Googled my name. The results surprised me.

The first entry was from a dental forum. I’d had surgery on my gums several years ago that I deemed personal. I was mortified to think that someone looking for my book would come across this piece of information. I had thought the dental forum was private.

The second entry was from a hepatitis C forum. In 1988 I received several units of transfused blood as a result of a serious accident (subject of the above-mentioned book). Luckily blood was screened for AIDS at that time, but screening for hepatitis C didn’t begin until 1992. So I received the gift that keeps on giving.

I choose to be open about most things to most people. But choosing is the key word. I can reveal personal facts about myself. Few people reading this blog actually know my last name or who I really am. For those who know my true identity, I’m open anyway.

Hepatitis, for the record, isn’t always as scary as the media portrays it. Thousands of people have quality of life without going through Interferon treatments. Hepatitis isn’t as contagious as most people think. It is blood to blood, and rarely passed to a sexual partner.

Many members of the two hepatitis forums I frequented had been married for years without passing the virus to their spouses. I also learned that support forums about illness are generally negative. Few people are proactive in managing their care. They rely on doctors or other forum members for information.

I was a member of two hepatitis forums and one dental forum for a nano-second, and Google remembered these tidbits of information, information that I thought was private.

Here is part of the problem: If you post a question or response at a forum, using a screen name or alias, your identity is protected. But if your real name is in your email address, the search engine will group the information together. For instance, at Yahoo forums, your email address is revealed to the forum when you respond to someone else’s post. You can choose to keep your email address private, but if you are gathering information of a personal nature, you may want other members to email you their personal answer.

I have used my whole name in my email address for years so that anyone wanting to write me could easily remember it. Now, I question the wisdom of this choice, especially when it's tied into a forum message. In addition, I cannot receive email without revealing my whole name. With crazy people stalking individuals or stealing their identities, we must develop a new awareness of the downside of technology.

I revisited the dental forum and stated my case. I saw that the forum was indeed public. The owner of the forum either didn’t understand the setup options, or he didn’t see the need for discretion. And, as a member, I had not paid attention. After I explained my dilemma, the forum owner gave me moderator status, so that I could delete my past messages. Unfortunately, my name–-in the form of my email address--appears in the messages of others who had responded to me.

The only information that Google revealed about me and the hepatitis forum was that I had frequented a hepatitis forum. There’s nothing I can really do except to find other ways to get noticed by Google, so that previous entries move down on the list.

The good news is that at least two other women share my full name. One of them writes westerns. If one of her old high school boyfriends Googles her name, he might wonder if she has hepatitis. And somebody else might think I write westerns.

I now choose to be careful about what I might reveal. Your neighbors, if they’re Internet savvy, can Google your name, instead of knocking on your door or calling you on the phone. Isn’t the twenty-first century great?

When I’m bored, instead of cleaning my house, I Google people I know. I haven’t discovered any tasty tidbits yet. I’ve merely learned how creative I can be when I don’t want to do housework.

Prospective employers will now Google job candidates. FYI, some also look on Myspace to see what they can find out. We need to arm ourselves with a new mindset to protect our privacy.

Have you Googled your name?

The Word Is "Squamous"

Two days before my 59th birthday, my telephone rings at 8 a.m. When I see my dermatologist's caller I.D., I assume his staff is contacting me. I've recently had session two of moles and other weird thingies removed from my face, mostly for cosmetic reasons. I don't want my grandchildren to see an old witch when they look at my face.

After session one, everything was benign. I haven't thought twice about the lab work from session two until I hear my doctor's voice on the line. He says that one tiny bump on my face has come back positive. "Remember that one bump that I thought looked suspicious?" he asks. I remember. He says I need to come in and have it cut out. No big deal.

What could be difficult? Nothing really, except that he will excise some skin, freeze it, and send it to the lab. We will then wait for the lab results before sewing me up or before cutting deeper. If he cuts more, he will freeze more cells and send them to the lab, and the procedure will repeat until there is no sign of cancer.

He asks me to look up "Mohs surgery" on the Internet. Hmmmm. I've been looking forward to this year's birthday. I'm not sure how to feel now. Once I Google "Mohs," it becomes difficult to be optimistic. I read that the physician makes an oblong incision, plenty long to get all the cancer cells. Nothing significant on someone's forehead or arm, but my tiny lump is on my cheek, near the smile crease that goes from my nose to my mouth.

I call the doctor back and talk to his staff. "I need to know what kind of cancer this is," I say. "The doctor told me to look up "Mohs surgery. He did not say what kind of cancer it is." The nurse says: "Squamous cell carcinoma." "Isn't this worse than basal cell carcinoma?" I ask, trying my best to pump her for info that will give me some peace of mind. She seems noncommital.

I find out that both basal cell and squamous cell carcinomas are usually 100 percent curable if treated right away. Squamous cells may metasticize more quickly, but basal cells go deeper and may be more disfiguring. In my case I'm more concerned about potential disfigurement--I think. I request the name of a plastic surgeon.

When Dr. Ting calls me with some surgeons' names, I ask to schedule an extra appointment to discuss my options, face to face. Is surgery a must? I don't want to be disfigured. I love Dr. Ting. He fits me in two days from now. I've decided that once I do everything possible to insure success, I will put this topic out of my mind. I'm feeling more in control as I pursue more information.

Meanwhile, I find infinite sources on the Internet indicating that the Mohs procedure provides the highest assurance of complete cancer removal but preserves a maximal amount of normal tissue.



I go to my consultation two days later. Dr. Ting draws an incision on my face as plan A. He will do Mohs procedure on eight different people on my big day, and I'm second in line. I like the order. He can warm up on number one, but still be fresh during my turn.

Below is the squamous cell carcinoma on my left cheek. What you see started as a tiny thing before it was cut and sent to the lab a few weeks ago. Note: I cropped away my face like they do in the medical journals--to display these silly cancer cells.



Dr. Ting erases the ink and draws plan B, in case there are lots of cancer cells. He tells me that the plastic surgeons will charge $6,000 to stitch the hole closed. This fee is obscene. Why would one human overcharge another human to do an hour's work when this procesure is not optional?

Dr. Ting looks like an Asian Doogie Howser. He credits his consistent use of sun screen for his youthful appearance. (He reminds me to put on my SPF50 before I step outside.) He has performed Mohs technique many times; he is confident that the scar will not be a problem for me. I believe him. I decide to count on him. June 19th. I will say so long to "squamie" and update this topic.

No Extended Warranty for Me

Can you see Google ads on this page? I cannot see them. I don’t know why. While using the Adsense Troubleshooting Wizard, I probably tore out half my hair. At this point I've cleared my browser cache and deleted my cookies. I decide to print some instructions that a Google rep has sent me.

Oh, good grief. Why is my printer only using red ink? I recently changed the cartridges. One of the problems with red ink, besides being hard on the eyes, is that the pages are blank wherever black ink or any other color of ink should appear. Oh, cripes. I’ve now had to detour from the Google issue, which was a detour from writing. Why did I think I could write a blog each day?

I change the black cartridge, even though I’m pretty sure the old one is full. I print. Still, red ink only. I look in my stack of unfiled computer stuff and find my Epson C86 manual. I check the troubleshooting section in the back of the book. My particular problem is not listed.

I go to the Epson site and install the most current driver. That doesn’t help.

I go through the Windows XP Troubleshooter. No paper jams. No connection issues.

By now I’m surrounded by messy mounds of partially printed computer paper, and I can feel physical signs of anxiety. I’m sweating. My heart is racing. I have a headache. I am buggin’.

I know that fixing this little printer--which is over two years old--will cost more than buying a new one. I check Costco online. None of their current deals speak to me. Off I go to Target, the place I normally go to unload money. But they have a poor selection of printers. Office Depot has a long row, with printers on both sides of the aisle. I see that laser printers have come down in price. Make no mistake. We are all getting gouged with the price of the cartridges. Did you know you can now print labels directly onto your CDs and DVDs? I want to print labels directly to my CDs and DVDs, but I don’t need the added expense.

I look for something small that I can move from room to room with my laptop. I see an Epson C88. It is almost the same as my C86. Yippee! The cartridges look the same. It looks like I can use my inventory of cartridges.

I decide on the Epson C86 for $80. I don’t need a shopping cart. I carry it to the checkout stand. By now I’m mentally fatigued from a day of troubleshooting. I fumble with my purse and wallet. I can’t seem to access my credit cards and money without letting valuables hang out of my purse. But this is a different subject begging for a future blog.

As I fumble around, the cashier asks me if I want an extended warranty for only $15. I say, “No thanks.”

She tells me that Office Depot will only honor returns for 14 days, and anything could go wrong with my printer after that. $15 is almost a fifth of the cost. Why would I spend this money? Doesn’t she know that if I’m going to unload money for no reason, I do it at Target?

She is in essence telling me that the product this fine store carries may be a piece of sh*t. Otherwise, why would I need an extended warranty? Don’t products speak for themselves anymore?

I’m more than annoyed. I’ve already said no. Yet, she is still talking. Here comes another blog topic. I do not feel good when I speak and my wishes are ignored. Is everyone my age treated this way? Do younger people all lack manners? Well, yes and yes.

I ignore this woman as she continues her spew. I say, “What’s the total?” as if she hasn’t been talking to me. She doesn’t realize how tempted I am to laugh in her face. I still have a Google problem to resolve when I get home. I’m not interested in what commission she earns. She says eighty something, and I slide my magic card–-magic until I get the bill. By now she’s chatting with a coworker as she hands me my receipt and I leave.

In case you haven’t figured it out, this blog is about extended warranties, mostly. I’ve had them with computers. I don’t like them.

My warranty with Gateway was a joke. Shortly after I bought my previous laptop and extended warranty, Gateway closed their stores. When my laptop malfunctioned, I told them what the problem was. Gateway ignored my written comments. I had to mail my laptop to them three times before they fixed it. I now have a Dell XPS.

I get home with my new printer. It is easy to set up. Just like my C86, except....

Would you believe that my old cartridges do not fit?

Why I Love Amy Sedaris

Strangers with Candy began its run on Comedy Central in 1999. My recent viewing of the insane 2006 movie, based on the series, prompted me to buy the three-season DVD . The movie and series have a preposterous premise about Jerri Blank, an ex-con, ex-drug addict, ex-prostitute “runaway.” At age 46, she returns to high school as a freshman to turn her life around. The humor is tacky, wacky and politically incorrect.

Although “Jerri,” played by Amy Sedaris, stands out as a nerd and a loser, the kids and teachers don’t seem to notice her age. The writers
--Paul Dinello, Stephen Colbert, and Amy Sedaris--may have started with the show After School Special and thought, How can we take each episode and seriously scr*w with it? In a story with a lesson, each shallow character learns something. We're not sure what.

This movie trailer shows a taste of what I attempt to convey:

Trailer to 2006 Movie

Amy Sedaris’s transition to Jerri Blank requires her to freeze a pathetic expression on her face, like Billy Bob Thornton did when he played Karl Childers in Sling Blade.



The real Amy is adorable. She appears as the cat lady on My Name is Earl tonight (May 31). Below she attends the Bewitched premier (2005).



This is what fascinates me about Amy: She has figured out how to combine her talents in a unique way. Not only does she act, write, and perform demented comedy, but she has expertise and creativity as a homemaker. She has created a beautiful, but kooky book about entertaining. Someone (maybe Amy) coined her as “Martha Stewart on crack.” I Like You: Hospitality under the Influence features photos of prepared foods and completed crafts, shot in Amy’s funky apartment. The book has a campy look to it with Amy wearing vintage clothing. She also runs a business out of her kitchen called Dusty Food Cupcakes.

I Like You includes several Greek recipes, like Koulouraki and Kourambiethes (cookies) that are part of my family tradition (my family name is Tahtaras). Besides delicious food, the book gives advice about having guests. My favorite tip is: "Try filling your medicine cabinet with marbles. Nothing announces a nosy part-goer more successfully than an avalanche of marbles striking a porcelain sink." This sample page shows the flavor of the book:



Amy Sedaris should have her own show on HGTV, the Food Network, or Comedy Central. I Like You is something that has never been done. In plain words, it is awfully darn funny, and would make a great gift.

I only write reviews about things I buy. If you find SNL funny (Amy is from Second City), you will like Strangers with Candy, available as a TV series and movie. I Like You doubles as a useful cookbook and pretty coffee table book--it is large with 304 pages of color photos, drawings and recipes.

The Secret

We usually think of a secret as information known by some but withheld from others. Previously known as positive thinking, the law of attraction (the secret) has been around for as long as I can remember. Well-known books with similar messages are Think and Grow Rich, The Power of Positive Thinking, and Creative Visualization. In a book called See You at the Top (1982), the author Zig Ziglar recommends consistently programming ourselves with positive thoughts to counteract the negativity that comes at us from all directions. With CNN we can see and hear bad news 24 hours a day. No wonder everyone is depressed.

Ziglar suggests reading motivational books and listening to audiotapes as a regular routine. I have taken his advice. I believe what he says. I am happier when I surround myself with happy people. I avoid naysayers. We all have difficulties in life. It is the inner workings of the mind--or what we think about each day--that determines whether or not we are happy.

As someone who has benefitted from positive messages, I will take all the good stuff I can get. The Secret presents positive thinking with a new spin that gives me a deeper understanding. I have the four-CD unabridged audio version of the book. I don’t have time to reread the book, but I have played the CDs several times in my car. I still have light-bulb moments.

The central theme of The Secret is that like attracts like. We reap what we think about. Thoughts are powerful. Positive thoughts have more power than negative ones. If we believe in something, we can make it happen.

Some people object to The Secret, but its principles follow the teachings of Jesus, minus the Christian element. Ask and you shall receive. Is this idea only for Christians? Does it only work if you pray through Jesus?

Having faith, belief, or hope always improves my own life. If I’m filled with hope, my life is already improved during that minute, during that hour, or during that day when I feel hopeful. When I feel hopeful, I notice goodness around me. How can thinking this way possibly hurt me?

Besides changing our thoughts and feelings, The Secret is about the vibration that we emit into the universe with each thought. And we attract this same vibration back to us.

Critics of The Secret are bothered by its focus on material possessions. Why? Is something wrong with money? Gratitude and giving are emphasized more. Money satisfies no one, unless they have gratitude. Others take issue with the book’s ideas about illness. Sometimes attitude makes a big difference in our health. I think everyone has made this observation. Should we blame ourselves if we are dying of a terminal disease? Of course not. My personal view is that the lessons that I’m here on earth to learn--including those in The Secret--expand my soul and help me cope with death more easily. I have had to face my mortality more than once. I have earned this opinion.

The Secret is a gift for anyone who wants to receive it. My advice is to take what you can learn from reading the book, listening to the CD or watching the DVD. Each time I play the CD, I hear something new. I grow a little. I feel happy. I feel hopeful.

I suggest that everyone take this message and use what you can. Here is something from The Secret to try: If your marriage is unhappy, make a list of all your spouse’s good qualities. This might take some thinking. Peel away your partner’s defensive facade and remember the reasons you fell in love. Review your list each night before bed. Do this for a week. Be focused and committed for one week. Something great will happen.

The way to understand the principles of Rhonda Byrne and the other contributors is to take their suggestions. Just try. Make that list. If you humor me, and focus your mind and energy on just this one exercise, you will find that the law of attraction is working. Take what you can use from this book, and leave the rest. Use prayer with these principles, if you wish, to honor God while you honor yourself. But be careful. You may have to adapt to getting what you want and wanting what you get.

Why I Love Elisabeth Hasselbeck

Where did the feminist movement go? When I was a young woman, the movement emphasized who we were on the inside. Our intelligence and determination took precedence over beauty, at least in the workplace. Showing some cleavage to get promoted was nothing I’d ever consider.

Have women made progress since then? Yes and no.

The tacky adventures of blonde celebrities infiltrates not only entertainment news, but network news as well. Attending parties. Driving drunk. Checking into rehab. Leaving rehab early. Serving jail time. Spending money. Dating someone new. Spending more money. Making a sex video. What?

I want some better role models for our nation’s young girls.

Enter Elisabeth Hasselbeck who turned 30 today. Happy Birthday, Elisabeth. Thank you for being a strong woman.

Before co-hosting The View, Elisabeth made it to the final four on Survivor: The Australian Outback. She completed the Boston Marathon in 1999, the same year she graduated from Boston College. She has worked with the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, Habitat for Humanity, and several other charity foundations. You can read more about her accomplishments at Wikipedia and at The Views Bios.

On a more personal note, Elisabeth is a wife, mother, and she is expecting a baby. She has Celiac Disease and can eat no wheat or gluten. Have you tried omitting wheat from your diet?

Before writing about last week’s unraveling at The View, I wanted to approach the subject without putting emphasis where it doesn’t belong. I enjoy the show. A half hour of Hot Topics rescues me from writer’s block. Since Barbara hasn’t asked me to co-host yet, I will put my two cents here.

Elisabeth is one smart, tough cookie. Anyone who speaks otherwise is a fool. She has held her ground all season, stating her conservative views, while the other women talked over her. Note: Women often talk over each other; it’s a cultural thing, but it doesn’t make for good TV. Barbara says she cringes when she watches the program from home.

One day on The View, the ladies discussed Christy Brinkley’s pending divorce. The conversation evolved--or digressed--to the subject of cheating. To my chagrin, Barbara, Rosie, and Joy took a lax position on adultery. All three of them thought cheating husbands (or wives) could still be good parents, while I yelled at the TV, waiting for someone to expect more from their partner. If children learn from example, how can cheating be tolerated?

Would you like to see a young woman with COURAGE step forward, when everyone else is jumping down her throat?

You can see the clip here.

This is why I love Elisabeth.

I often disagree with her conservative politics, and I do not share her position on abortion or the war, for that matter. What I do share--I would hope--is respect for myself and determination to stick to my convictions.

I have admired Rosie for years, and the fight between her and Elisabeth saddens me. No, I’m not posting the clip here. I would like to see Rosie take a step back and ask herself why people are criticizing her. She has perhaps let her passion turn into anger. Whether she means to or not, she is putting negative energy out there, and negative energy is like a boomerang that always comes back.

I am on a campaign to honor women who honor themselves. We need better role models for our young girls (and boys). I nominate Elisabeth.

Text Me

Welcome to Text Me Some Apple Pie, where baby boomers take on--or should I say, navigate, collide with, interact, or adapt to--the twenty-first century. I never thought of myself as someone who'd become an "old-timer" like grandpa. I vowed I'd always keep one foot planted in current trends and pop culture.

Naturally, I was raised with a black and white TV, without a remote, without a TV in my bedroom. A bedroom I shared with one of my sisters. We baby boomers were not raised with video games or flickering colored television screens. We had no CNN to watch war as it exploded before our eyes. We had three TV networks--ABC, CBS and NBC--that didn't notify us when children went missing.

We had one telephone mounted on the wall. For awhile we had a party line, an obsolete technology that disappeared with Tyrannosaurus Rex. Cordless or cell phones went beyond our imaginations. I had no cell phone or iPod to keep me company as I walked to school both ways uphill in the snow. Oh, wait. That was my parents' generation that did all that walking.

My generation has adapted gradually to the techie age. I read a book on how to blog that is five years old and already out of date. We've gone from music turntables that played 38s, 45s (singles) and finally LPs. Then came 8-track tapes, cassette tapes, CDs, iPods, and every time I update my music, a new technology outdates my collection.

In many ways I embrace change. I love getting text messages. I'm a techie nerd. I have a Myspace page, an iPod, a cell phone, and I'm in love with my digital camera, my fifth camera. In future blogs I will post photos I've taken, and I will describe the features on my camera.

I have read that narrowing my focus can make a good blog better. Well...no can do. I've decided to write what comes naturally to me. On some days I find myself in bitch mode. (I use the word "bitch" as a verb, not as a noun.)

I have special topics for my soapbox, like the greedy pharma companies. We once had a family doctor, instead of twelve different specialists, and our lives were not controlled by legal pill pushers and medical insurance providers. I will address dis-ease that allopathic medicine can only medicate but not fix. We need a paradigm shift in our view of medical practice in this "civilized" world.

Another topic that needs to shift is the lack of role models who influence our young girls. I'm tired of hearing about half-naked rich girls who get arrested or shave their heads or forget their wear their under panties. We should expect better. We are honoring bad behavior. We are enabling bad behavior.

I wish Oprah or maybe Tyra would create a substantial award--with money and clout--for deserving young women who demonstrate character and strength. Although I have no award money myself--at this time--I will feature women in this blog who deserve admiration.

As I alluded to in my opening sentence, I'm still looking for the ideal word to describe how I take on life in our current society. Do I conquer, acquiesce to, live harmoniously with, prevail over...life in the twenty-first century? My subtitle may be tweaked from time to time.

I look forward to receiving feedback. If you haven't figured out how to text me, please go ahead and send me some pie.