I Put Childish Ways Behind Me in the New Year

What do we do with the anniversaries of traumatic events? or the anniversaries of big losses? As much as I try to get through the month of January without feeling sad or depressed, my heart has always felt heavy.

Thirty-one years ago TODAY, my mother died. She'd been in a coma for five days before she finally slipped away. My own son was just a baby when she died. As a result, I never had a mom to call on the phone when my son fell off his bike or or when he started kindergarten. I've missed having someone to honor on Mother's day. Yet, when I haven't thought about her for awhile, I fear that I've forgotten her completely.

On January 19, 1988, I got hit by a bus while I was crossing the street. I am a positive person who's grateful for many things, but no great attitude can change the reality of what happened. Or can it?

Feeling Very Thankful

I am thankful for the handful of readers who visit my blog. I took a short writing hiatus, and I'm ready to use this blog again as an opportunity to play with words and to express my thoughts.

I am thankful for my improving health; I once again see the world through clear eyes, and I can live in the NOW, appreciating many things, great and small.

I am thankful that my son used cancer as a gift, a wake up call to shed his boyhood and stand as a man. I recognize him as his mother's son (the son who learned the values I taught him), but SO MUCH MORE. He is strong, determined, and he has reached a place in his life where he admits his mistakes. He stands undefended. How many people can do this?