Rest in Peace, Tammy Faye

Tammy Faye Messner died Friday morning. I did not see her last appearance on Larry King Live, but I read summaries of her interview, and I read her last post of a couple days ago on her page TammyFaye.com.

I normally think it's in bad taste to pronounce someone's impending death, as I did in my last blog. I thought more than twice before saying what I said. After reading her last letter to her supporters and fans, I thought, If anyone can come back from near death, it would be Tammy Faye.

She kept her sense of humor until the end. She also knew that she was headed toward the arms of God. I commend Tammy for her strength and guts and faith. My good friend Janice died in 1986. Memory of her courage and faith has stayed with me all these years. And I think of her whenever I find myself hospitalized.

People die as they live, and those who go with courage, set examples for those of us they leave behind. My father also had unwavering faith, and he died how he lived, on his own terms. People who leave us on their own terms give us a gift. They somehow comfort us, instead of the other way around. And they give us an idea how we might go forward when it's our turn.

This is really about Tammy Faye, an imperfect person who got the most important things right. She didn't give up. She fought. She laughed. She believed. She did things her way (and her interpretation of God's way). She pulled herself up after several "failures."

Many people loved her. You can't do better. I will remember Tammy's courage always. She has joined that rare club with my father and my friend Janice, those who have shown me how to navigate illness and death.

Thank you, Tammy Faye. I know you're with Jesus, and I know you're at peace.

Tammy Faye: Too Ill for Television

Yesterday I flipped the remote to check out Larry King Live. The guest was Hulk Hogan, but Larry had just taped an interview with Tammy Faye Messner, which I believe will air today. He showed an excerpt from the interview.

Let me say first that I'm no stranger to ill or injured people. I spent time with my mom when she was in ICU and when she was dying. I spent time as a patient in ICU after sustaining, what they called, serious disfiguring injuries. (I look fine now, but my family was unable to recognize me at that time.) I also volunteered at the trauma center at Eden Hospital in my town. I can hold the hand of sick or injured individuals, and if I feel squeamish, I can pull myself together for someone who is suffering. I'm no lightweight when it comes to health matters.

Back to Larry King Live and Tammy Faye. I was in utter shock to see Tammy Faye. At 65 pounds, she is literally skin and bone. She is dying of cancer, and she is too ill for television. I've always enjoyed Larry King, but I believe his show is exploiting someone who is too ill to realize that she no longer resembles herself.

What is the purpose of airing a show with someone so ill? I hate to say this, but Tammy Faye's image is frightening to me. Years ago when I'd been banged up in a bus accident, I did not allow reporters in my room. I did not wish to share my deepest suffering with the local media. I was afraid to let my 10-year-old son visit me, as my image might upset him. My son and I both survived, but in retrospect, my appearance wasn't as frightening as Tammy Faye's. My situation was full of hope as I improved each day. This is a hard pronouncement, but Tammy Faye is, in fact, withering away, and now she is withering before the cameras. And for what purpose?

I was once critical of Tammy Faye and the whole Jim Bakker and PTL scandal. And what woman in America wouldn't like to get hold of Tammy Faye's makeup and give her a makeover? She has always had a pretty face--with too much mascara and misplaced eyebrows.

Although Tammy Faye has battled cancer several times in recent years, she has remained steadfast in her faith in God. And during the worst of times she kept her sense of humor and her positive attitude. Surprisingly, she became someone I deeply admire. She is one strong woman.

Maybe Tammy Faye approached Larry and asked to make a public appearance. Maybe she wanted to thank the public for supporting her through trying times. Maybe after several appearances on the show, Larry and his staff's interests are honest but misguided. I hate to think this interview is for ratings.

STILL, SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE STOPPED THIS INTERVIEW FROM BEING VIDEOTAPED.

I wrote to the show, and asked them not to air the interview. That's all I can do. I debated about writing this blog, as I'm calling attention to the show. Curiosity sometimes draws us to look at misery. For instance, it is sometimes human nature to slow down to see traffic accidents. But if you read this blog today, I suggest bypassing the show. I will not be watching.

I'd be curious to hear from anyone on this subject, especially from someone who has lost a family member to cancer or from someone who has had cancer. Do I seem insensitive to Tammy Faye? I hope not. I would like to protect her and help her keep her death (dying) private.

Edit: July 19, 2007 @7:44 p.m.You can post prayers and good wishes to Tammy at: Tammy's Page.