Why I Love Kelly Cutrone

I first saw Kelly Cutrone on The Hills. Yes, I admit to watching occasional drivel, maybe quite a bit of drivel these days. But the show became interesting to me when Whitney Port went to work at People's Revolution, and for founder Kelly Cutrone. After four seasons of The Hills, Whitney left the show to star in The City that featured Whitney's career at People's Revolution.

I found Whitney's boss, Kelly Cutrone to be a great role model for Whitney and for the other young people that she mentors. Her demanding presence seems to intimidate her staff; she has high expectations of everyone around her. But I notice that she's a real softie once she sees someone making an effort to learn their job. Cutrone gets angry when a staff member does something foolish, but her bark is often worse than her bite--often, but not always.

People's Revolution is a branding public relations firm that produces fashion shows all over the world and gets press for their clients. They take the clothes out of the show room and get them onto the pages of magazines and onto the backs of clients. People's Revolution represents 46 clients; they have produced fashion shows for: Nicky Hilton, Vivienne Westwood, Marisa Ribisi, and many others. People's Revolution produced 10 different shows during the last Fashion week at Bryant Park. Kelli Cutrone and Jeremy Kost below:

Why I Love Paula Deen

There was a time when I thought cooking was a job for the unliberated woman. As I've said before, I once let my views on feminism stifle my freedom. At this great time in my life I love to cook, and I'm crazy about the Food Network.

I had thought that the Food Network only chose trained chefs to host their shows. I enjoy fancy cooking, but thanks to Paula Deen, I see that unpretentious foods that are a part of American culture, especially Southern culture, can be deeply satisfying to prepare and to eat. Paula calls dishes like fried chicken and potato salad "comfort foods."

I just finished reading Paula Deen: It Ain't All About the Cookin'. What an inspiring story. What an inspiring woman. Paula married before she was twenty. Shortly afterwards, each of her parents died of illness. What surprises me the most about Paula is that she suffered from agoraphobia and panic attacks. For many years, she was housebound.

During this time, her husband rarely maintained a long-term job. Her family--including her two sons--struggled to keep a roof over their heads. Eventually, with the help of her sons, Paula sold home-cooked lunches to nearby businesses.

Paula Deen comes across as down to earth, funny, bawdy, sensible, and very brave. After spending hours in the kitchen with her mother, aunt and grandmothers, Paula learned to cherish her family recipes and traditions. She eventually made a career for herself--and her sons--working long hours in her Savannah, Georgia restaurant.



I can't help but feel I know Paula after reading this page-turner. I read all 304 pages in a couple of days. Paula left me feeling that I can age gracefully without pretense. She found true love and got married the second time in her fifties. After years of living in near poverty, she now has a successful restaurant, two popular shows on the Food Network (Paula's Home Cooking and Paula's Party), and she has sold thousands of cookbooks.

Several great recipes are included in this memoir, such as pan-fried corn and split-pea soup. I am inspired to cook, to try, and to maybe even love again.

Here's why I love Paula Deen: She is a nurturing woman who considers food a sensual experience. As we baby boomers age, we need to redefine how we view ourselves as sexual/sensual beings. I have come to realize that cooking is not only an art, but it is a gift to give and receive. Cooking can be an intimate experience shared between two people.

Cooking is also an activity to do with the grandbabies. Beautiful aromas wafting from the kitchen create memories for the little ones.

Paula Deen is not your typical television host. To a Californian (me), she has a strong Southern accent. She says "you all" or "y'all" a lot. She is a robust, white haired woman who finds much to laugh about. She is a late bloomer who pulled herself up again and again, and she reaps the rewards of her efforts.

More Comments on The Loved Dog

Please see my previous review of The Loved Dog by Tamar Geller. Now that I finished reading the book, I will comment a bit further.

If you have experience raising and training dogs, the author’s point of view is fascinating. Her training methods may work on all dogs—if the owner can invest much time and consistency with training. She makes a good argument against inflicting physical discomfort on dogs.

The Loved Dog does not address problems with aggressive dogs, and I’m not sure if her methods would be effective, unless they were used when the aggressive (breed) dog was still a puppy. You can teach an old dog new tricks. But it takes dedication and commitment.

A dog takes physical cues from its owner. In my opinion, the owner must communicate superiority with some kind of physicality. For example, you can prevent a big dog from jumping on you by raising your knee to block him from making contact with your lap or chest. Or you can force a dog to sit by pushing on his rear with all your fingers tips—being careful not to injure the dog’s hips.

These physical cues are some of the ways to demonstrate that you can physically dominate your dog. You can get him to mind by using your superiority over him, instead of hitting him with a newspaper or jerking him harshly with a choke chain. Physical communication is a vital component of dog training but does not stand alone.

Playing games with the dog and having training sessions strengthens the bond between dog and owner that further instills a trust in the dog. And I think this is the author’s main point. The Loved Dog is mostly about establishing and maintaining a relationship with your dog.

If you have dogs and love dogs, Tamar Geller's point of view worth reading. But this book doesn’t give basic advice like potty training or crate training. There are also books available with more games and dog tricks.

In retrospect, the book is partly an autobiography of the author. In addition to surviving a difficult childhood, she has led a colorful life in Israeli Intelligence. Afterwards, she spent many hours observing wolves in their own habitat. Her love of dogs and her own methods of dog training demonstrate her own kind soul, and this is what she imparts to the reader.

The Loved Dog

I’m reading a great book called The Loved Dog: The Playful, Nonaggressive Way to Teach Your Dog Good Behavior by Tamar Geller. I saw the author on Oprah, and admire her and her approach to training dogs. Geller witnessed the harsh training of dogs while she was in Israeli Military Intelligence. Later, her observation of wolves in the wild taught her about the inborn instincts of dogs. She eventually opened the first doggie daycare, where dogs spend their days kennel-free. I’m about halfway through the book but wanted to comment now.

I have a long history and background with dogs. My first two German Shepherds were more than I could handle because I made so many mistakes right from the beginning. I got them, four years apart, from short-term backyard breeders, and I took them home too soon (at five weeks). Also, the parents of my first dog would have killed me if they had been let loose, and I was too ill-informed to think that lineage mattered.

Having a big dog, especially one of the more aggressive breeds, is a job for experienced dog handlers only. Big dogs grow very fast, and if they’re not socialized from the beginning—before and during their adolescence—they will become overly territorial, and they will often become fear biters. A big dog needs lots of exercise.

Because I had difficult dogs, I eventually found a dog trainer to help me. After Travis died, Bruno was alone in the yard without his pal. I needed to be able to walk him down the street without getting dragged whenever he decided to engage with a passing dog. I was lucky to find Sallie, who’d been a K-9 officer with BART. She taught me much about the nature of dogs, which is pretty simple. Dealing with dogs is much like dealing with toddlers: consistency, love and positive reinforcement are the recipe for success.

I went on Sunday dog walks with Sallie and her dog trainer friends, and I took two of her classes—surrounded by other dogs—and my dog Bruno was able to pass his Canine Citizenship Test, which requires self-control and good behavior. He eventually could heal without a leash (sometimes) and complete a half-hour downstay without getting up, even when other dogs distracted him. You can teach old dogs new tricks.

Back to Tamar Geller, the author of The Loved Dog. Geller doesn’t believe in using prong collars or choke chains on dogs. I can’t imagine walking my huge GSD’s without a prong collar. But now I have Xena, my only German Shepherd, who is four. I got Xena from a top-ranking breeder. I visited the kennels in Chico, CA ahead of time and got Xena as a pup at eight-and-a-half weeks. She was bred to be a good pet, and she minds well most of the time. She is smaller than my boy dogs. Maybe I can attach the leash to her ID collar and forgo the choke chain. Hmmmm. Something to consider.

My first year with Xena was full of socialization and training, but everything came to a halt because I got ill. She has always gotten plenty of attention from me, but we are now just getting back out into the world together, and I realize how very easy she is to work with. Here's Xena below:



Xena is a partly-trained dog that needs much more socialization. I’m getting good ideas from Geller on how to strengthen the bond between her and me, now that I’m not so wrapped up in myself. I’ve been playing “find the toy” with Xena, and I’m surprised at how quickly she finds things that I hide. She seems to be tracking with her nose already. Our games with inspire more of Xena's trust in me, and she will be confident in more social situations.

When Sallie was training me to handle my dog Bruno, she taught me the Alpha Rollover. This is a method they use to train K-9 dogs. As I recall, they let the K-9's in training run out into the yard. They are not allowed to overly engage or attack each other. And if they do, the dog handler will pin the dog to the ground and stare the dog into submission.

Although, Sallie and I had used the Alpha Rollover on Bruno to get control over him—believe me, it’s a lot of work for a small person like me—Geller is abhorred by this method. She thinks trainers who use the Alpha Rollover are brutal. Yet, I know that Sallie loves dogs every bit as much as Geller. By the way, this method is usually used while a dog is muzzled. (Don't try this at home.) And I should say that Bruno had already bitten me once, and he’d lunged at two other people while he attempted to bite them. So I was saving his life by re-emerging as alpha and getting some kind of control over him. It was my job to protect him from making mistakes that couldn't be reversed.

Xena already knows that I’m alpha in the family. This is the most important principle in raising any dog, no matter what the size. Some dog owners don’t concern themselves about being alpha over their small dogs, and this is a big mistake. Since my grownup son moved out, my house is quiet. I do not raise my voice with Xena unless she’s in danger. She easily picks up on my quiet tones and body language. And since I’m a more experienced dog handler, I know how to throw my weight around—literally—when I’m with my dog. I walk and move like I have more prowess than the little person I really am.

I should add that little dogs can cause a lot of chaos in the home and in dog parks. Two little dogs in the park used to attack Xena, while the owners sat idly by. When Xena tried to defend herself, she’d look like a bully. When the owner of a small dog picks the dog up after it has misbehaved, this reinforces the small dogs’ bad behavior. All dogs need obedience training and socialization. All dogs need to know that their owner is alpha. This relationship is similar to toddlers feeling more secure when their parents set limits. These are simple concepts that take some work in following through.

Geller relies much on hand signals. My dog already knows “sit,” “down,” and “stay,” without my using words. Geller has the reader take stock of words the dog already knows. She says that dogs can easily learn fifty words.

Geller describes training methods that are new to me. She suggests teaching a dog to sit while (the human is) in a standing position, kneeling position, and lying down position. For dogs that jump on visitors, she suggests having the visitor turn their back on the dog. (My brother swears that there is no correcting this bad behavior with his dog Sam; we shall see.)

I’ve read many dog training books and watched videos as well. My favorite so far are by The Monks of New Skeet. The Monks used to breed German Shepherds for sale, and they too have a gentle philosophy.

Meanwhile, I’m working and playing with my dog, as I get more ideas from The Loved Dog by Tamar Geller, which is a great book. I will write a followup to this blog—or a bragfest on my successes.

Death by HMO

Today is the nationwide release of Michael Moore’s documentary Sicko. Maybe I’m a dreamer, but I hope this movie is the catalyst for the long-needed change in our medical system. No matter how much attention Sicko garners, it’s still up to all of us collectively to stand up and be counted, and refuse to tolerate conditions as they are. In a “civilized” country such as ours, the medical care is often far from civilized. In a country (the USA) that prides itself in technological advancement, our medical care really isn’t “care” at all.

If you’ve never been exposed to medical negligence or indifference, you are vulnerable to betrayal. Caring doctors and nurses are out there, but we can’t assume the professionals know best without us asking many questions and doing our own research. People often question their auto mechanic more than they question their doctors.

One family’s fight to reform the medical system is documented in an excellent, but gut-wrenching book, Death by HMO: The Jennifer Gigliello Story. This book is written by Dorothy Cancilla, a bright and feisty woman, who learned the hard way how callous and incompetent some medical providers can be. Cancilla’s book documents her daughter Jennifer’s eight years of painful illness that eventually led to a premature and avoidable death. Jennifer (below) died four days before her 30th birthday.



I’m amazed at how much information and detail is compiled into this 132-page book. The reader gets an education on the human body, and the tragic errors made by doctors at every turn become very clear.

I can’t imagine helplessly watching my daughter suffer, as Cancilla was forced to do. She and the rest of the family tried everything they could to support Jennifer and help her make the right decisions. Their biggest mistake was daring to think that doctors and Kaiser Hospital had Jennifer’s best interest at heart.

Jennifer’s problems began with frequent abdominal pain and vomiting. While doctors debated about the cause of her suffering, she trusted her doctor who literally butchered her (let’s tell it like it was) by removing her pancreas, instead of her gallbladder. Jennifer, who was somebody’s mother, wife, daughter and sister, tried to live a normal life around many hospital stays and surgeries. Cancilla portrays her youngest daughter as heroic. Anyone reading this book will fall in love with Jennifer, but what pulls at my heart is Cancilla’s loss—a mother’s loss—that never goes away. She honors her daughter and husband by writing this book.

Death by HMO documents medical negligence and indifference but also shows how truly callous some businesses can be for the almighty dollar. In Jennifer’s case the greed of the HMO set off a chain of events that affected her life––and her death—which in turn devastated her family. While viewing Jennifer in her casket, her father Lou Cancilla had a heart attack and died. Dorothy Cancilla and her family lived through a horror show, barely hanging on, in a daze, wondering which family member might be next as they survived two funerals.

To add more insult to much injury, Kaiser Hospital (and members of it) promised to release the facts of the cause of Jennifer’s death, only to hide the autopsy until the courts intervened.

I love Dorothy Cancilla. What a mom she is, and one tough cookie. She did not disappear in her grief, but joined the family in suing Kaiser; and then she later wrote this book. Although the family was triumphant in winning a lawsuit against Kaiser, I’m disappointed that the law limited their financial compensation—received by Jennifer’s husband and son—to a whopping $125,000. Of course, no money really compensates for suffering and loss of life. But at least the judgment in the case allows the author to legally and openly state that Kaiser was at fault.

People need to know what can happen to any of us once we put ourselves in someone else’s hands. We must advocate for ourselves and our loved ones. We cannot assume that the doctor is always right. We have to keep in mind that the only body we have has to last us a lifetime. We are the ones who are affected by wrong decisions. Ultimately we must consider the medical professionals as part of our team. They are expert consultants and sometimes gifted surgeons. But even the most dedicated doctors are imperfect, not God-like. Even decent medical people may be cajoled into betraying their patients by the HMO who pays their salary.

Death by HMO will surprise and dismay you. But you will be inspired by the courage of Dorothy Cancilla and her family. This story has all the elements for a great movie.

Why I Love Amy Sedaris

Strangers with Candy began its run on Comedy Central in 1999. My recent viewing of the insane 2006 movie, based on the series, prompted me to buy the three-season DVD . The movie and series have a preposterous premise about Jerri Blank, an ex-con, ex-drug addict, ex-prostitute “runaway.” At age 46, she returns to high school as a freshman to turn her life around. The humor is tacky, wacky and politically incorrect.

Although “Jerri,” played by Amy Sedaris, stands out as a nerd and a loser, the kids and teachers don’t seem to notice her age. The writers
--Paul Dinello, Stephen Colbert, and Amy Sedaris--may have started with the show After School Special and thought, How can we take each episode and seriously scr*w with it? In a story with a lesson, each shallow character learns something. We're not sure what.

This movie trailer shows a taste of what I attempt to convey:

Trailer to 2006 Movie

Amy Sedaris’s transition to Jerri Blank requires her to freeze a pathetic expression on her face, like Billy Bob Thornton did when he played Karl Childers in Sling Blade.



The real Amy is adorable. She appears as the cat lady on My Name is Earl tonight (May 31). Below she attends the Bewitched premier (2005).



This is what fascinates me about Amy: She has figured out how to combine her talents in a unique way. Not only does she act, write, and perform demented comedy, but she has expertise and creativity as a homemaker. She has created a beautiful, but kooky book about entertaining. Someone (maybe Amy) coined her as “Martha Stewart on crack.” I Like You: Hospitality under the Influence features photos of prepared foods and completed crafts, shot in Amy’s funky apartment. The book has a campy look to it with Amy wearing vintage clothing. She also runs a business out of her kitchen called Dusty Food Cupcakes.

I Like You includes several Greek recipes, like Koulouraki and Kourambiethes (cookies) that are part of my family tradition (my family name is Tahtaras). Besides delicious food, the book gives advice about having guests. My favorite tip is: "Try filling your medicine cabinet with marbles. Nothing announces a nosy part-goer more successfully than an avalanche of marbles striking a porcelain sink." This sample page shows the flavor of the book:



Amy Sedaris should have her own show on HGTV, the Food Network, or Comedy Central. I Like You is something that has never been done. In plain words, it is awfully darn funny, and would make a great gift.

I only write reviews about things I buy. If you find SNL funny (Amy is from Second City), you will like Strangers with Candy, available as a TV series and movie. I Like You doubles as a useful cookbook and pretty coffee table book--it is large with 304 pages of color photos, drawings and recipes.

The Secret

We usually think of a secret as information known by some but withheld from others. Previously known as positive thinking, the law of attraction (the secret) has been around for as long as I can remember. Well-known books with similar messages are Think and Grow Rich, The Power of Positive Thinking, and Creative Visualization. In a book called See You at the Top (1982), the author Zig Ziglar recommends consistently programming ourselves with positive thoughts to counteract the negativity that comes at us from all directions. With CNN we can see and hear bad news 24 hours a day. No wonder everyone is depressed.

Ziglar suggests reading motivational books and listening to audiotapes as a regular routine. I have taken his advice. I believe what he says. I am happier when I surround myself with happy people. I avoid naysayers. We all have difficulties in life. It is the inner workings of the mind--or what we think about each day--that determines whether or not we are happy.

As someone who has benefitted from positive messages, I will take all the good stuff I can get. The Secret presents positive thinking with a new spin that gives me a deeper understanding. I have the four-CD unabridged audio version of the book. I don’t have time to reread the book, but I have played the CDs several times in my car. I still have light-bulb moments.

The central theme of The Secret is that like attracts like. We reap what we think about. Thoughts are powerful. Positive thoughts have more power than negative ones. If we believe in something, we can make it happen.

Some people object to The Secret, but its principles follow the teachings of Jesus, minus the Christian element. Ask and you shall receive. Is this idea only for Christians? Does it only work if you pray through Jesus?

Having faith, belief, or hope always improves my own life. If I’m filled with hope, my life is already improved during that minute, during that hour, or during that day when I feel hopeful. When I feel hopeful, I notice goodness around me. How can thinking this way possibly hurt me?

Besides changing our thoughts and feelings, The Secret is about the vibration that we emit into the universe with each thought. And we attract this same vibration back to us.

Critics of The Secret are bothered by its focus on material possessions. Why? Is something wrong with money? Gratitude and giving are emphasized more. Money satisfies no one, unless they have gratitude. Others take issue with the book’s ideas about illness. Sometimes attitude makes a big difference in our health. I think everyone has made this observation. Should we blame ourselves if we are dying of a terminal disease? Of course not. My personal view is that the lessons that I’m here on earth to learn--including those in The Secret--expand my soul and help me cope with death more easily. I have had to face my mortality more than once. I have earned this opinion.

The Secret is a gift for anyone who wants to receive it. My advice is to take what you can learn from reading the book, listening to the CD or watching the DVD. Each time I play the CD, I hear something new. I grow a little. I feel happy. I feel hopeful.

I suggest that everyone take this message and use what you can. Here is something from The Secret to try: If your marriage is unhappy, make a list of all your spouse’s good qualities. This might take some thinking. Peel away your partner’s defensive facade and remember the reasons you fell in love. Review your list each night before bed. Do this for a week. Be focused and committed for one week. Something great will happen.

The way to understand the principles of Rhonda Byrne and the other contributors is to take their suggestions. Just try. Make that list. If you humor me, and focus your mind and energy on just this one exercise, you will find that the law of attraction is working. Take what you can use from this book, and leave the rest. Use prayer with these principles, if you wish, to honor God while you honor yourself. But be careful. You may have to adapt to getting what you want and wanting what you get.