text me some apple pie

Why I Love Kelly Cutrone

2010-02-05T10:22:00.000-08:00

I first saw Kelly Cutrone on The Hills. Yes, I admit to watching occasional drivel, maybe quite a bit of drivel these days. But the show became interesting to me when Whitney Port went to work at People's Revolution, and for founder Kelly Cutrone. After four seasons of The Hills, Whitney left the show to star in The City that featured Whitney's career at People's Revolution.

I found Whitney's boss, Kelly Cutrone to be a great role model for Whitney and for the other young people that she mentors. Her demanding presence seems to intimidate her staff; she has high expectations of everyone around her. But I notice that she's a real softie once she sees someone making an effort to learn their job. Cutrone gets angry when a staff member does something foolish, but her bark is often worse than her bite--often, but not always.

People's Revolution is a branding public relations firm that produces fashion shows all over the world and gets press for their clients. They take the clothes out of the show room and get them onto the pages of magazines and onto the backs of clients. People's Revolution represents 46 clients; they have produced fashion shows for: Nicky Hilton, Vivienne Westwood, Marisa Ribisi, and many others. People's Revolution produced 10 different shows during the last Fashion week at Bryant Park. Kelli Cutrone and Jeremy Kost below:

Bravo television found Kelly Cutrone to be as fascinating as I do. The first episode of Kell on Earth aired on Monday, February 1, 2010. This is a behind-the-scenes show about fashion, similar to The Rachel Zoe Project, except that the personalities of Rachel and Kelly are very different. For instance, Rachel Zoe is always seen as a fashion plate herself. In contrast, everyone working at People's Revolution, including Kelly Cutrone, wears plain black when working a show. No visible tattoos, piercings or jewelry. Nobody shows up the designers' work.

People's Republic is located in New York and Los Angeles. So far the show is based in New York, where PR utilizes several stories of a building located on 62 Grand Street. Cutrone's home occupies the third floor, so she can easily leave work and spend time with her seven-year-old daughter.

Cutrone is a great leader who won't waste time repeating her requests and directions. She offers solid advice in helping her interns become true professionals. She seems to take her position as mentor seriously. She has said:

"There aren't that many strong women on TV. Even if you look at Sex and the City … if you look at women on television … Sarah Jessica Parker's character is obsessed with Mr. Big and Kim Cattrall is getting banged 20 times a day."

Kelly Cutrone's book title, If You Have to Cry, Go Outside, is great advice that I have always subscribed to myself. This is a fun book with much wisdom. Read the book; watch Kell on Earth, or even try watching The City.

A Return to Healing

2010-02-04T16:53:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, at the conclusion of an office visit with Dr. Saputo, he mentioned that he was writing a book about health care reform. At that time, I was making a 45-minute drive to see Dr. Saputo because I couldn't get the medical help that I needed closer to home.

Dr. Saputo embodies the ideal medical practitioner of the 21st century. He uses cutting-edge laboratory tests to diagnose illness. He combines conventional medicine with adjunct alternative or integrative therapies. He goes to the source of many illnesses by looking at the patient's digestive system. Conventional doctors rarely consider nutrition and digestion to be a part of good health.

Dr. Saputo makes himself accessible to his patients. He prefers that they call him "Len." He encourages patients to email him with questions--between office visits--and he responds right away, as long as the question requires a straightforward answer.

I read extensively about medical issues. I typically arm myself with a list of concerns to show my doctors. My aim to be a part of my own care puts off some doctors. Dr. Saputo welcomes questions, and he takes them seriously. He is open-minded enough to consider my thoughts. Yet, he is a strong sounding board who doesn't let me hijack my treatment with my own fears or misinformation.

This review is not of Dr. Len Saputo's medical practice, but of his book: A Return to Healing: Radical Health Care Reform and the Future of Medicine. When he mentioned he was writing this book on medical reform, I thought to myself, Good luck with that. Only an optimistic, energetic person would tackle this subject. When he said that his goal was to provide a solution to the medical care crisis, I asked what his bottom line solution would ultimately be. He said something like, "People must take it upon themselves to demand change."

I had planned to write a detached and strictly professional-sounding review of A Return to Healing. But a doctor's patient is the perfect person to look at the ideas presented in this book and to view them at the micro level. Service to the patient is the bottom line--or at least, it should be. I admire the way Dr. Saputo operates his practice. Because he is honest, dedicated, caring, and open to change, I consider him a role model. Anyone seeking good medical care should read this book. Any doctor searching for a better way to practice medicine should read this book.

How familiar is this scenario? The doctor dashes into the exam room after you've camped out long enough to read People Magazine from cover to cover. This doctor is out of shape and somewhat anxious. He seems pre-occupied while he quickly peruses your file. During your quick visit, he seems irritated by your questions because at 11 a.m., he is already running behind. He has double-booked patients all day. He may have let a pharmaceutical rep cut in front of the line to school the doctor on the latest wonder drug.

Let's look at a different type of office visit: Dr. Saputo does not double-book patients. His patients individually book the time they will need. Dr. Saputo is a title holder in tennis. When he tells his patients to exercise, he is walking his own walk. His office building is filled with practitioners who are dedicated to healing their patients holistically. They CARE about their patients' physical, psychological and spiritual health. In addition, the warmth and positive attitude that is conveyed by his office staff is contagious. I wish Dr. Saputo's office were closer to my home because at times I lingered at the premises past my visit.

Let's face it: The old way no longer works, especially for those with chronic illness. Few doctors get their patients well these days. A doctor is trained to dispense pills. Much of the information the doctor has about these pills is given to him by the drug companies' sales reps. Patients may have some diagnostic tests--but ultimately they leave with a prescription slip.

What is good medical care? A Return to Healing describes Dr. Len Saputo's journey to find a better way to treat and to heal his patients. He writes about the challenges he has gone through in order to offer better care. He has set up a model for other doctors to follow as a starting point for change. This book is particularly interesting to me (as a patient who has read about various courageous "rebel" doctors) because it never occurred to me---as I enjoyed what Dr. Saputo offered---that he had received flack from members of his own industry, and that he was risking his own livelihood by stepping out of the box and daring to question the way things have always been done.

Dr. Saputo operates the Health Medicine Center in Walnut Creek, CA. At this center a patient can find several complementary therapies (such as, chiropractic care, cranial sacral therapy, sports medicine, pain management, guided imagery, etc.) While developing this practice--which is a part of what he calls the "Health Medicine Movement," Dr. Saputo has aligned himself with other medical doctors and dedicated healers to form the Health Medicine Forum . The members of the forum present guest speakers and hold conferences to exchange information in order to improve and expand their practices and to bring about a needed paradigm shift.

Although the purpose of this book is to ultimately bring about this paradigm shift, the ideas are simple; the suggestions are plausible. The author isn't someone with his head in the clouds who carries crystals in his pocket. He is a well-trained medical doctor who is a scientist.

What is science and what isn't? Much of what we've known to be "scientific medicine" is now a system of prescribing pills to patients that do not heal them. Today, those of us who seek good health must question exactly what science is when it comes to curing disease and treating patients. Is it scientific to take a medication that has a cure rate only slightly higher than a placebo? Conversely, there may be irrefutable evidence that an "alternative" therapy improves health or even saves lives. But when there is no ownership or patent on a product (like vitamins, for instance), finding the financial backing to publish research is not feasible. Without the research, there is no FDA approval. Without FDA approval, there is no insurance coverage.

This book delineates the power structure of the FDA and the large pharmaceutical companies. Who determines exactly what drugs and therapies are approved? The power that is wielded by the FDA, the pharmaceutical companies and the insurance companies has drastically changed the practices of today's doctors. This power makes it difficult for doctors to offer a full spectrum of treatments. A power shift must occur for doctors to be able to offer their patients all types of therapies and all life-saving remedies.

The U.S. government cannot legislate this paradigm shift. Both doctors and patients must look at the need for better medical care with new eyes. The following four categories listed in this book demonstrate a hierarchy of treatments from the least invasive to the most. Each category includes many choices and various things a patient can try to create and sustain good health. The first level of treatment is prevention, and the last level (or extreme) includes the most invasive treatments. Success at the first level can prevent the need to go the next level and so on:

FIRST LEVEL: "Lifestyle strategies such as a healthy diet, adequate sleep and exercise, stress reduction, weight control, avoidance of toxic exposures, and securing emotional and spiritual balance in life are the first line of defense.

SECOND LEVEL: Noninvasive complementary and alternative services such as acupuncture, herbal medicine, chiropractic, bodywork, homeopathy, and energy medicine are the next line of defense.

THIRD LEVEL: Natural-medicine approaches based on the latest advances in orthomolecular medicine, functional medicine, and bioenergetic research--and inclusive of the more advanced forms of testing--are a further line of defense.

FOURTH/LAST LEVEL: Very careful and sparing use of pharmaceutical drugs, surgery, and other invasive strategies are the last line of defense."

A Return to Healing is an informative guide for both patients and doctors who seek good medical care. It is a map for health care reform. If both doctors and patients adopt the above hierarchy in preventing illness and maintaining good health, a paradigm shift will occur.

~~~~~

I Put Childish Ways Behind Me in the New Year

2010-01-31T15:07:00.000-08:00

What do we do with the anniversaries of traumatic events? or the anniversaries of big losses? As much as I try to get through the month of January without feeling sad or depressed, my heart has always felt heavy.

Thirty-one years ago TODAY, my mother died. She'd been in a coma for five days before she finally slipped away. My own son was just a baby when she died. As a result, I never had a mom to call on the phone when my son fell off his bike or or when he started kindergarten. I've missed having someone to honor on Mother's day. Yet, when I haven't thought about her for awhile, I fear that I've forgotten her completely.

On January 19, 1988, I got hit by a bus while I was crossing the street. I am a positive person who's grateful for many things, but no great attitude can change the reality of what happened. Or can it?

Therapists say that the anniversary dates of traumatic events can be difficult to go through. Maybe this idea just got stuck in my head. Because of these two anniversary dates, I try not to dread January, and I try to acknowledge the passing of these dates in some positive way. I want a meaningful way to acknowledge my mother's life and death. And I want to thumb my nose at the bus that almost took my life. However, I cannot completely ignore the body aches and visual scars that stay with me.

This year's winter has been cold, rainy, windy, foggy, and dark. I've wondered where my energy went. I seem to slip into a dark hole each year when January comes. I don't want to slip, but sometimes I do anyway. And this month went by--again--without me finding a peaceful way to view some of the things in my past.

I breathe a sigh of relief on this last day of January. Yet, I don't want to leave this month without shifting the way that I think. I want to make friends with January, while finding new ways to honor my mother.

This morning I went to church. As usual Pastor Mark seemed to speak directly to me. I can FEEL his gifts of discernment and wisdom while he gives his interpretation of God's message in the Bible, and I feel that Pastor Mark knows my heart.

I cannot describe EXACTLY what happened to me today, but Pastor Mark reminded me that I have all the answers. I simply need to act on them. I know that when my present life makes sense, and I am comfortable and at peace, the past and all the steps leading to today make absolute sense.

This following scripture conveys a simple principle that tells me what I need:

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned liked a child. When I became a man (woman), I put childish ways behind me."
1 Corinthians 13:11

I could write several blogs about this one Bible verse. In a nutshell it is telling me to quit worrying and over thinking, and to just "do it." God will take care of the situations in my life that I cannot change, but I must take responsibility for "putting childish ways behind me," If I want God to do His part.

Holidays and birthdays mark the passage of time for each of us. We notice whether life is better or worse than last year. Marking the passage of time holds true for other anniversary dates as well. I think that most of us have high hopes for January because it marks another beginning. Good-bye to last year and all the difficulties that went with it.

We often start January with the cards stacked against us, if we pigged out out during the holidays or if we spent too much money. We still hope this year will be better than last, beginning with a dark, cold, and wet month like January.

January's significance for EVERYONE as the new year, was hidden from me by my own dread of my anniversary dates. But now, and in the future, I will delight in the Bible verse First Corinthians 13:11 which will remind me to "put childish ways behind me," and to go about my business without worry. Is there any better way to live my life and to celebrate new beginnings?

The Prodigal Blogger Returns

2010-01-30T11:11:00.000-08:00

I had diligently worked at this blog when I first began. Blogger was my very first blog host. Then I started shopping around, comparing. And I decided to try blogging at other places.

I enjoy some aspects of Live Journal. For instance, at LJ you can easily post large photos. If you want delicate, detailed features to show up, you might prefer LJ. I think that many people who consider themselves serious writers prefer LJ because there's no marketing of any kind, and you cannot make money there by placing ads on the page. LJ is a great place to network, too, because you can easily find like-minded bloggers and develop friendships.

I don't like what is referred to as the LJ Cut. It's a cut you must make so that a long blog won't appear on the page. A reader must click on the LJ Cut link to read everything underneath. This system is handy for readers, but a blogger is not allowed to post several photographs that show above the LJ cut without being seriously booed and reprimanded. Other than selecting a pre-made format at LJ, there is no individuality of pages there. No standing graphics, links, or widgets are allowed. In my opinion, LJ is primarily for writing only.

So I hung out at Typepad for awhile, where the formatting allows for larger photos. I particularly like to see large photos of scrapbook layouts to view all the details. I also paid the monthly fee so that I could be a multi-blogger with my blogs connected. There is really nothing wrong with Typepad. In fact, the support there is excellent. You can actually email someone for help and get a response right away without having to try ten things first.

But I decided it was foolish to pay a fee just to link my blogs together. The photo issue has become less important to me, and Blogger is easier to use.

To anyone who had been following this blog--and I know I had a few followers--I thought I should explain the gap in blogging dates, since hardly posted anything here in 2009. I am grateful for anyone who reads my blog. Thank you.

The prodigal blogger returns.

A Man Called Paladin

2010-01-30T10:51:00.000-08:00

I've been loving "Have Gun Will Travel" that now airs on the Encore Western channel. Here are some facts about Paladin, my favorite gun for hire from 1957 to 1963:

Paladin made his home at the Hotel Carlton in San Francisco sometime after his education at West Point. He dressed like a gentlemen, dining on fine food and wines. He combed through the daily paper, looking for potential clients who might need his services, and of course, he used his calling card that said, "Have gun....Will travel." He charged $1,000--but only those who could pay. Paladin was a man of refinement, a "James Bond" of the old West, who carried a few expensive cigars in his boot when out on an adventure.

For work, Paladin was always the man in black. He carried a custom-made .45 caliber colt single-action army revolver. It was made of excellent craftsmanship with a one-ounce trigger pull and a rifled barrel. The derringer he wore under his belt saved his life many times. Paladin was also a world traveler. His exploits included a 1857 visit to India, where he had won the respect of the natives as a hunter of man-eating tigers.

Paladin killed many men, but his victims were always deserving--and almost none of the violence in the show was gratuitous. Although he was a super marksman, Paladin's edge was his rich education. He was always able to make some insightful repartee about his current situation.

Richard Boone's deep voice, his smile, and his laugh all knock my socks off. Here are some behind-the-scene facts about "Have Gun Will Travel" and about the star Richard Boone:

The show ran for six seasons; it opened as the number 4th rated show for the year, then followed up with three years ranked at number 3.

Gene Roddenberry wrote some of the shows before creating Star Trek, and Bruce Geller who created Mission Impossible also wrote for the show. Some of the more famous guest stars included: Charles Bronson, Angie Dickinson, June Lockhart, James Franciscus, James Coburn, Abby Dalton, Peter Falk and many others.

The program's closing theme song, "Ballad of Paladin", was written by Johnny Western, Richard Boone, and Sam Rolfe, and was performed by Western. In a scene in Stand by Me,the main characters sing the show's closing theme song. This scene is partially recreated in a scene in an episode of Family Guy. The 1962 Tom and Jerry cartoon "Tall in the Trap" (directed by Gene Deitch) was a parody of "Have Gun Will Travel."

A Good Anniversary

2010-01-29T09:32:00.000-08:00

Last year I stuck to my beliefs, and as the Bible would say, I "persevered under trial (James 1:12)". That end quote sounds utterly dramatic. All it means is that I am as consistent and honest as I can be, when others around me manipulate and lie to get what they want. God knows my heart.

There is no doubt that I am reaping the benefits of being true to myself. What's more important, I follow God's word as well as I can, beginning with my return to church. I can't emphasize how much I love Heart of the Bay. In fact, when I weigh pros and cons about staying here or moving away, Heart of the Bay carries a lot of weight. So far, I haven't found another church that compares to this one, so I can't be sure what will happen. I'm very new in my evolution as a Christian. In the past, I let the stereotypical image of a uber conservative Christian influence me in a negative way. Now, I am working on my personal relationship with God.

I wish I could make money scrapbooking. Irene at Scrapperlicious lives in Malaysia and travels all over the world, teaching classes. In fact, she'll be in San Jose this month. Irene is out of my league--at least at the moment--but I am learning. I was invited to be part of the design team at Scrapbooking and Crafting Friends. And Jasmine asked me to think about putting together a class for her store on the boulevard. It looks like I'll teach a class on stamping, liquid embossing, and various inks. I'm getting some great feedback about my layouts.

The next great thing to happen this year could be HUGE. One of my friends at the screenplay forum really likes my work, and he is actually a working screenwriter. In fact, he doesn't spend that much time at the forum because he has deadlines.
Anyway, I have one comedy and one drama with a belly dancing theme that I've been working on forever. He has been steering me toward the best contests to enter. But better than that, he wants his agent to see my work. Can you believe that?

I keep my sights on all good things that are possible. Yet, I'm practical enough to know that timing is everything. Just knowing that someone will read what I am writing is extremely encouraging.

I will look for a job as soon as I get moved, but if I could sell some of my work, I can actually get my second little place in Tahoe, and I can spend some time in Hawaii and Paris. I also have this new yearning to go to New York City and walk around Manhattan. I want to go to the Hamptons. I'd love to check out Martha's Vineyard.
On some days I get fatigued pretty easily. I just got my blood work done. We are seeing how--or if--the hepatitis has progressed. I feel confident that I can arrest it, as long as I don't let these test results scare me. I think I just have to deal with this typical fatigue and these remaining headaches.

I notice how much better I feel when I can keep stress to a minimum. How does anyone do that? I honestly don't know, except that I just have to stay away from conflict, or my days on this earth will be numbered. And right now, there are good things happening in my life.

I found a group of Toastmasters that meets at Neighborhood Church. I'd like to meet a special guy. Toastmasters could be perfect for me. Since I majored in Speech, I can give a speech standing on my head, with one hand tied behind my back and one eye closed. I'm not sure what kind of guy I'd attract that way. Haha. I need to push myself to go.

I also want to go to church on Wednesday nights but I need to wait until the seasons change. I'm having lots of problems driving at night, even around Castro Valley.
Today is the twenty-second anniversary of the bus accident. I've had a great day today. In fact, my Swirlydoos scrapbooking kit arrived on time, and it is downstairs on the table waiting for me. I bought some new CDs by Lady Gaga and Natasha Bedingfield.
Life is good, quiet, and peaceful. No drama.

Disappointed in Dr. Drew

2010-01-28T17:21:00.000-08:00

By now Dr. Drew Pinsky is considered to be very knowledgeable about drugs. There's no doubt that he cares about what he does. He tackles some severe cases of addiction and substance abuse.

I was curious to see how he'd handle Mindy McCready's seizure on this week's episode of Celebrity Rehab, this same seizure that was aired at least five times in the previews before it occurred on the show.

I was hoping that Dr. Drew would know something about benzodiazapines (aka "benzos"). The problem with stopping benzos is that a patient cannot detox from them safely without the risk of seizures. And because benzos change the actual chemistry and structure of the brain, the seizures and other symptoms must be managed with other drugs if a person goes cold turkey. Even Hoffman-La Roche, the manufacturer of both Valium and Klonopin recommends a taper schedule for getting off benzos. One must reduce the amount of the drug very slowly.

Part of the danger of benzos is their elusiveness to a polydrug user--and to the doctors. An individual can successfully go cold turkey off of opiates and other drugs, but still have extreme long-term side effects from benzos. Unless patients know what to expect, they will think they're weak, sick, clinically depressed or even bi-polar when changes to the central nervous system cause severe and dibilitating symptoms that last for several months or even years.

When Dr. Drew interviewed Mindy during inception, she told him that she was taking 5 mg. Alprazolam (she probably meant .5 mg.). She stuttered the word, as if she wasn't familiar with the drug--to hide her intimacy with it; she knew how to be slippery at this point. She said she was taking Alprazolam for a medical reason. When Mindy was talking with another patient in the house, she said she was taking both Xanax (she used the brand name here because she didn't hide her familiarity with the drug) and Ativan (another benzo). I wondered how the show (Dr. Drew) was going to handle benzos. Since Mindy had placed herself under supervision to detox safely, Dr. Drew should have pursued the topic of Alprazolam with her to see if withdrawing would be a problem.

There can be legitimate reasons to take benzos or painkillers, but not in Mindy's case. She's an addict who needs to be off all chemical substances. (Google her name and see how difficult her life has been.) Mindy wouldn't be the first person who downplayed her relationship with "Alprazolam." Dr. Drew has both knowledge and finesse with these patients. When Mindy had a seizure, my first thought was that she is withdrawing from benzos. She could be taking a large amount. She's the only one who knows.
Dr. Drew should have been suspicious. This would have been a good time to ask Mindy again how much Alprzolam she'd been taking. He told Mindy that he'd put her on a drug to stop the seizures, and she would stay on this drug for a year while they got to the bottom of the seizure problem. While Mindy was in the hospital, a doctor did a scan of her brain. The next day, while this doctor consulted with Dr. Drew, he asked if Mindy had a history of taking pills. Her brain had been physically altered. Dr. Drew said that Mindy had denied taking pills (he forgot about the Alprazolam because he honestly doesn't understand the significance of it).

It was at this point that their search to find the reason for the seizure took a turn. They brought in Mindy to show her the picture of her brain. She took the opportunity to skirt the pill issue by getting their sympathy. She has been smacked in the head several times during physical abuse. She'd rather talk about her abuse than her relationship with pills, but she doesn't understand the damage their doing. Dr. Drew should understand. He was taking notes when Mindy said she took Alprazolam. Mindy also has a history with alcohol. For some reason, doctors would rather think that it's alcohol that is changing the structure of Mindy's brain. At this point the Xanax is all but forgotten.

All these things could contribute to seizures. But I think that with Mindy's secrecy about her benzo use and Dr. Drew's ignorance about benzos, the real cause of the seizure was totally hidden. Here's what eMedTV says about Xanax:

"Seizures are often the most dangerous possible withdrawal symptom. These are most likely to occur if Xanax is stopped "cold turkey," but they are also possible if the drug is not stopped slowly enough. Even forgetting a single dose of Xanax can lead to withdrawal symptoms. As your body gets used to the medication, you may even begin to experience withdrawal symptoms between your usual Xanax doses."

Why are benzodiazepines treated like other narcotics? They cannot be stopped cold turkey unless something is given for seizures. But even seizure medication will not cover the other possible symptoms. Here's what Alprazolam.com says:

"Sudden discontinuation of Alprazolam can lead to GABA under activity in the brain, causing the nervous system to become over-excited. This can often cause more serious Alprazolam withdrawal symptoms such as restlessness, depression, difficulty sleeping, convulsions, and hallucinations."

Do you notice that the show Intervention never deals with benzodiazepines? Doctors don't seem comfortable dealing with them, so they're buried under other addictions. I'd like to see a show totally dedicated to benzodiazepine addiction, but I'm still waiting. A patient might have a cross-addiction, but benzos are never the main drug on the show. These drugs are so insidious that they can prevent a well-meaning individual from keeping off other drugs. If a patient feels extremely depressed or suicidal after stopping their drug of choice, for instance, he'll have no idea that he's having benzo withdrawals, unless he has an educated doctor who has told him what to expect.

When Mindy had her seizure, I thought: "Please let Dr. Drew bring this problem to light." But Dr. Drew let me down. I hope Mindy can stay clean and sober. But she won't understand the effect of Xanax on her. If she gets sick or agitated, she will either think she's having symptoms from alcohol or opiates, or here's the biggest lie at all. She may think that she must stay on that anti-seizure medication for the rest of her life. After all, her head got bashed in by her ex-boyfriend, and if her doctors tell her that something is permanently wrong with her, they are throwing away every chance she has to get off all pills, even anti-seizure pills. As long as she has a prescription for something, she's getting refills and carrying pills in her purse and taking a little round thing to deal with her feelings.

I had hoped that Dr. Drew would finally educate America about benzos. I'm not sure what it's going to take for people to become informed. Look at Michael Jackson and the vast array of pills he took. I firmly believe that he could no longer sleep because his sleeping pills (benzos) had turned on him, which is what they eventually do. He was probably dealing with awful symptoms day-to-day, and he was desperate for a few hours of peaceful sleep. He found something that worked for a little while anyway, and that was the anesthetic propofol. He probably died from a combination of these drugs. A smart doctor would have forced Michael to taper off his sleeping pills (benzos), and his sleep would have gradually returned on its own. Most doctors are so indoctrinated with the 12-step methods that they can't embrace the idea of tapering a drug, even when it's supported in the drug literature.

For those of us who know where to look, accurate information on benzos is available. But this information is not usually disseminated by addiction doctors like Dr. Drew who seem oblivious to the characteristics and dangers of sleeping pills and other benzos.The drug companies are getting rich from selling benzodiazepines. If Dr. Drew isn't hip enough to recognize Xanax as a big adversary, who will?

Welcome 2009

2009-01-12T12:05:00.000-08:00

I'm not into New Year's resolutions. Writing and posting my goals are helping me to organize my daily focus. I want to be accountable to more than a private journal or to a list on a piece of paper that gets shoved into a stack somewhere.

At the beginning of 2010--which will be here fast enough--I will check myself. Hopefully, I will have accomplished all of these things, some of these things, or I have put a definite dent in these goals.

These are in no particular order. They are all important to me:

1. Make a Dream Board--as suggested in The Secret--of my aspirations, desires, loves, and dreams. I'm going to use my scrapbook supplies and make it like a collage.

2. Enter the Pillsbury Bakeoff.

3. Walk my dog (Xena) daily--except for Sundays. I live 1.2 miles up a rather steep hill. I want to easily walk down and up by the end of 2009, and I can increase the walk by going up the hill--from my house--as well.

4. I will train Xena, who is a beautiful, smart GSD. She has been naughty lately. She needs more one-on-one time with me; I need more one-on-one time with her. I have much knowledge and experience with dogs. She will be doing long down-stays and healing off-leash by the end of 2009.

5. Organize photos and all paperwork. I will be able to locate every piece of paper in my house.

6. Get my legal stuff together: Since my "estate" attorney passed away, another firm took over his cases. I have purchased Quicken WillMaker Plus 2009. This is the book, not the software, and it contains various forms that a lay person can use without an attorney. I want to make sure that my son and grandchildren are provided for with the few assets that I have. I don't want the government or any attorney taking money that does not belong to them.

7. Pay off credit cards.

8. Have more money at the end of the year than I do now.

9. Spend more time blogging and less time bullshitting on my computer.

10. Be "free" of all medications.

I have other goals and aspirations, but if I concentrate on the list above, everything else should fall into place.

~~~~~

My Favorite Tom and Jerry Cartoon

2008-12-08T21:24:00.000-08:00

Tom the Cat is often the fool. Whether he makes plans to sunbathe or fish, he is foiled by a mouse named Jerry.

In Tom and Jerry cartoons, the most intelligent character is Jerry the Mouse. For some reason, he is the strongest, at least pound per pound. He can lift and throw objects that are several times his size.

Tom is an intelligent cat. He taught himself to play classical piano in one afternoon, and he designed a superior mousetrap that may have brought him fame and fortune, but a certain mouse altered the drawings as Tom lay sleeping.

In addition to a few female kitties who are love interests for Tom, the third character that often appears is Spike the Dog, also known as "Killer" in some cartoons. He is a large likable bulldog, especially when he spends time with his son, but he's not very bright. Jerry often solicits Spike as an accomplice to make Tom's life miserable.

My favorite T & J cartoon is called "Solid Serenade." Some of the smallest details of the cartoon bring me delight.

As in many of these cartoons, a happy Tom begins his evening with a plan to woo his gal. He's going to serenade his love interest, an attractive and very female white cat. We see her silhouette through the upper stair bedroom shade; she primps and powders herself.

Tom arrives well-prepared with a rope, maillot and a bass fiddle (perhaps a cello?). He climbs over the fence, onto "Killer's" dog house. In order to draw out the dog, he peers over the roof and in through the doorway, and makes taunting goofy faces at the dog. (He sticks out his tongue and waves his fingers from his ears.) A cartoon dog can never resist such temptation. When he comes outside, Tom pounds Killer over the head with a maillot and renders him unconscious. He then ties him with a rope, adorning his wrap with a neat bow.

He brings his bass into the yard by riding it like a pogo stick and proceeds to sing a jazzy, bluesy song, called Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby?

"I got a gal who's always late
Every time we have a date.
Is you is or is you ain't my baby?
The way you acting lately makes me doubt."

Then Tom does a little scat...."dooby doo..."

"But I love her
I'm gonna ask her...."

His beautiful girlfriend cat appears on the lower balcony. Tom plays the bass right underneath her, as he flexes his biceps to the beat. He jumps over to Killer and plucks his lips to the music.

The vibration from the bass has disturbed Jerry who sleeps in the mailbox. I'm not sure why he sleeps at this house, instead of the house where Tom lives. Creative license, I guess. Jerry's little body plops all over the place, out of bed, around his bedroom floor. He puts his fingers over his nose and gestures, "That stinks." The pictures fall from the walls, and a vase falls from the table and konks Jerry on the head.

A fed-up Jerry enters the house window and finds a pie. He hides an iron underneath the meringue and throw the whole thing at Tom. Before Tom can recover, another pie smacks him in the face. He licks his lips and finishes his song. Now the games begin. This competitive male puts his girlfriend on hold to do battle with his foe.

A chase ensues. Tom periodically returns to woo his girl. But always the fool, Tom is too busy to notice that Jerry has untied Killer. In fact, Tom is so preoccupied that he thinks he is kissing his girl. But he takes a very large Killer in his arms and says in a French accent, "Now, I love you. You set my soul on fire. It is not just a little spark, but a flame, a big roaring flame. I can feel it now...."

While he smooches Killer, he opens his eyes and sees his girlfriend across the balcony. He nonchalantly sets Killer's head down and sneaks away.

Jerry the Mouse hits the Killer over the head with a large board, but hands off the board to Tom. When Spike wakes up, he sees Tom with the board, and he seeks some serious revenge. But before he can damage the cat, Tom whistles and yells, "Here doggie, go catch...." When he throws the board like a stick, big bad Killer wags his tail and turns into an affable puppy. After catching the "stick," he realizes he has been played; the cartoon replaces him with a donkey and the words "Jack Ass."

Satisfaction is finally Tom's when he traps Jerry in the dog house. As he enters, he does a loud, evil laugh. But Jerry emerges unscathed. And so does Killer, who does this same evil laugh as he returns to pound Tom. The dog house flies around, and the roof flies off. Tom takes a break to write his Will, and the cartoon fades away....

When I was a kid, I did not enjoy chases. My mother disliked cartoon violence. My father detested slapstick or prat falls of any kind. Chases might have seemed tedious to me. The extreme violence in Tom and Jerry cartoons made me uncomfortable. Even now, I find myself cringing when Tom gets sliced into bits, or his tail catches on fire.

When I watch these cartoons with the grandkids, I say out loud, "Ouch." ''That's gotta hurt." "That's awful...." Hopefully, the kids can build up their empathy and compassion, instead of becoming callous about violence.

It is the small things, the nuances that I enjoy about these cartoons. Here are some that come to mind.

1. Sometimes these characters have human teeth; sometimes, pointed animal teeth. Spike the dog is known to switch dentures when super aggression is called for.

2. Tom can sing. Occasionally he says a phrase or two in English--or French, but he's also known to screech like a cat.

3. Tom can barbecue, play classical piano, and play pool. He is an explosives expert.

4. Tom doesn't usually know he's falling from an extremely high place until someone suggests that he look down. Until then, he hangs in the air.

5. Jerry is adept at tripping Tom by sticking his teensy leg out from behind a wall.

6. Jerry is a very good dancer.

7. Jerry is an excellent writer; he wrote and sold his memoirs.

8. Jerry likes Swiss cheese; he is also an explosives expert.

For some reason, I'm unable to imbed the video or write a proper HTML anchor, so here is the link to "Solid Serenade" below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYUS5T-loHk

The Sex Change Didn't Take

2008-12-05T01:08:00.000-08:00

What is fascinating about the woman on the Barbara Walters special who gave birth to a baby after she became a man? Oh, wait a minute. She had her exterior sex organs surgically altered. But for some reason, she kept her uterus, tubes and ovaries.

Why do we refer to a transsexual man as a "man" if he still has a uterus? I find the whole topic on "sex change" very confusing because the whole world is going mad in order to accommodate a few. We call this acceptance. I call this craziness.

Back to Barbara Walters and her selection of the 10 most fascinating people of 2008. Supposedly, a man gave birth to a baby, not just once, but he/she is pregnant again. Barbara is fascinated that a man can have a baby. One need not be a rocket scientist to see that the doctors who did the sex reassignment surgery did not reassign everything. They left the female reproductive organs.
Barack Obama was named the most Fascinating Person of 2008 by Barbara and ABC television. Others on the top 10 list included Will Smith, Tom Cruise, Mylie Cyrus, Tina Fey, Sarah Palin, and others who made a significant contribution to our society and culture.

What did this "man" accomplish who claims to have gotten pregnant twice as a man? He got the media in our country to act stupid. He's making a fool out of anyone who believes he's a man.

Does this "male" birth-giver have parents? Siblings? Nieces? Nephews?

Whenever I see a television show that idealizes transsexuals, I wonder how these transitions affect family members, because....

My brother had a sex change many years ago, and I will never see him as a woman.

To be clear, the infamous man who gave birth, was a woman who is now a man.

My brother was a man who is now a woman. Is this perfectly clear?

It is a perfect mess.

This is in reference to the man-to-woman surgery.

1. A woman has monthly periods (which means that Barbara's fascinating man also has periods when he isn't busy claiming he's a man).

2. A woman was once a little girl child. Is my family supposed to hide all childhood photos with the little boy who was once my brother?

3. A woman isn't somebody who has the equipment to impregnate a wife--like my brother did.

In other words: A woman doesn't "father" children. A man "fathers" children.

4. A real woman was never my son's uncle. Was I supposed to tell my little boy--at the time--that his uncle was now his aunt? I refused to do this at first. I was the last family holdout.

I attempt to describe just some of the insanity surrounding a "sex change" or "sex reassignment." We are using words in our language that are inaccurate. In fact, this is my objection to gay people marrying each other. Marriage by definition is between a man and a woman. Marriage involves a bride and a groom, not two brides or two grooms. These are two different topics. I want gay couples to have every right that they want, but their union can not be one with the word "marriage," unless they marry somebody of the opposite sex.

I got off the subject for a minute. I simply want us to be truthful in what we're doing and what we're observing and talking about. If giving individuals rights means that we have to lie to ourselves about what is going on around us, we are going to implode. I am going to implode anyway.

My brother refers to the era before the sex "change," as "her past." Is it a dirty little secret that he was a boy child? If that's true, then what were all of us who stood next to him in pictures? Do we try to forget our childhood with him? Do we imagine that we had another sister?

I once had two sisters and two brothers. Now do I have only one brother and three sisters? That's not fair to me. I enjoyed having two brothers. If I decide to have my sisters as bridesmaids, should I feel compelled to find a third bridesmaid dress in a size 20+ and make a mockery of a whole event?

When my brother decided to have a sex change, he was a married man and father of three children. His marriage may have already been in trouble. But somewhere in his mind, he thought he could make this huge step, and everybody around him would accept his actions. He thought that his wife and children would embrace what he did. I think the psychiatric profession steered him in the wrong direction by encouraging him to play out a fanstasy.

My brother traded his whole life for a sex reassignment in every way. He became a "woman" with chronic illness who cannot hold a job. Does it make any sense for a man's body to stay healthy when it is plied with estrogen? As a real woman, I've suffered from breast lumps, ovarian cysts and horrific migraines due to an overabundance of estrogen. How can reasonable medical professionals think they "do no harm" by giving transsexual women estrogen?

I cringe whenever I see transexual women on television who are big and burly and think they look feminine in a dress. Does anyone tell them the truth? Do we all have to pretend?

Back to Barbara Walters who features a transsexual man on her show. A woman who supposedly became a man who had a baby. Come on, Barbara. Come on, ABC. Does this make any sense? Why on earth is this individual a fascinating person of 2008?

This "fascinating" person is a woman who had a sex change that didn't take. It just didn't take.

Pamela Anderson's Reality Show

2008-08-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

Somehow, Pamela Anderson comes across as the down-to-earth girl next door, no matter how she handles her private or public life. Last night I tuned into Pam: Girl on the Loose, the new reality show that features Pam and everybody in her life except her kids.

Note: I don't know why Denise Richards received all the flack for featuring her daughters in her reality show when their air time is probably less than 30 seconds per episode. I guess I do know why. The media does not like Denise. But the media sure likes Pam, and I'm trying to figure out why. She could appear in a skin flick--whoops! She has--and still be treated like the consummate mom and animal lover.

Girl on the Loose is filmed with a grainy low-quality texture that is meant to look campy, but I find it hard on the eyes. Episode One was also difficult to watch because the show caters to a short attention span. The camera jumps around. The interviews and moving shots are constantly interspersed with naked shots of Pam, who gives some of her "confessional" talks from the bath tub.

Pamela Anderson is a smart woman in some ways. She produced the show VIP that was clever and campy. In VIP Pam played the "figurehead" boss of a body guard company that took care of celebrities and anyone else with tons of money. The show was a Remington Steel knock off, but Pam's character wasn't smooth like Steel. She cared more about her hair and clothes than managing the business, and she only caught the bad guy by accident and with much help from the real body guards.

I found Pamela's persona very likable on VIP. She is still smart, I guess, if you go for the blonde bimbo who laughs all the way to the bank. Her personal life that includes spur of the moment marriages and at least one publicly volatile relationship, does not do much to promote Pamela to role model status. Of Girl on the Run, she says that she loves attention. Her favorite times are her photo shoots, when all attention is on her.

I viewed the first show out of curiosity. Will I watch it again? Probably not. I find it hard to watch with the tiny snippets of comments and quick flashes of Pam in various states of nudity. I wonder who will watch this show? Teenage boys? Older men? All men?

Pam constantly writes across the screen with lipstick, the same way John Madden scribbles football plays. For what reason? To be funny? To emphasize a point? To show how creative she is?

We all know that sex sells, but exactly how much when there's little talent or quality demonstrated? Pamela's laissez faire attitude about life comes through loud and clear. It's easy to envy someone with a beautiful body and face and to conclude that everything is given to her without effort. But I honestly observe little effort put into this downright boring show.

I get tired of women becoming cultural icons simply because of their own narcissism. Madonna, for instance, rose to fame when MTV was new and ripe to adore someone with the lens. But in Madonna's case, her work ethic has created continued opportunity. She cannot act because she is too aware of what her own face looks like....always.

On the other hand, Pam is constantly photographed with a drink in her hand, even with a diagnosis of hepatitis C. She doesn't seem to take her career or her health seriously....or at least, this is the image she is conveying. Life is one big party, and every man should desire this woman who speaks to audiences from her bath tub. If you want to see more of Pam exposed, check your listings for Girl on the Loose on E. If you are looking for content, don't bother.

Scrapbooking

2008-07-29T12:58:00.000-07:00

rowsing through scrapbooking stores has become my favorite activity away from home. This may sound sad, unless you are a purveyor of beautiful paper. And then you will understand that I can become amazed, even moved, by a 60-cent piece of 12 x 12 paper. Perhaps my newly-found hobby is related to all my younger years in the fabric store when sewing my own clothes was profitable. Instead of selecting fabric, I ooh and ah over paper.

If you are artistic, please take a look at this hobby that lends itself to many types of media in order to enhance and present photographs. Here are some of my completed pages:

My grandson is trying on my glasses in these photos. This page features ribbon and a needlework border.

My grandson wears his baby sister's pink hat. The top butterfly is stamped and heat embossed. The bottom butterfly is stamped on felt and cut out.

My grandson helps me make popcorn. I used a beautiful punch to border this page on all sides.

This monochromatic page is mostly decorated with punched out shapes.

My granddaughter will wear almost anything on her head. The tulips are stamped and then colored with pencil. The border is stitched, and the polka dot letters are outlined in dark pen.

I bought two sheets of the same flowered paper, and I cut flowers out of one to scatter on the page. These are topped with rhinestones.

There is no limit to what you can use to enhance a scrapbook page. I always begin with a favorite photo and pay attention to the colors. I embellish the theme and colors with whatever sparks my imagination. I use clear and rubber stamps, dry and heated embossing, stencils, embroidery, gel pens, decorative punches, and more.

Sarah Jessica's Mole

2008-07-18T00:25:00.000-07:00

A feature on the removal SJP's mole on E! News prompted me to verify the story on the world wide web, and what I have read boggles my mind. "Sarah Jessica had her beauty mark removed." "Sarah Jessica had her trademark mole removed."

Good grief! When did a cancer growth become a thing of beauty? Who wants a big old wart for a trademark?

I once had a mole sort of like Cindy Crawford's, and I had it removed when I was in my twenties because I thought it was hideous. Sarah Jessica's looked even worse, like one big zit.

Sarah Jessica has taken a stand against cosmetic surgery for herself. Maybe she considered the removal of a growth as some kind of self-betrayal.

Unfortunately, as we age, moles get larger, along with our noses--and ears, I think. Our eyes and our lips seem to shrink, and everything, large or small, goes south. Here's a photo of SJP sans mole; hopefully this photo represents more than a photo edit. There has been no official word from SJP's peeps.

It has never been the aim of this blog to be critical of women in general, especially somebody who seems nice. But I've been a bit bothered by the over-exposure of Sarah Jessica and all her co-stars of Sex and the City. Along with the buzz of the movie came magazine covers, TV ads and talk shows, all carefully planned and coordinated to push the movie.

I also read that Sarah Jessica's mole, that looked large on television, became a giant thing on the big screen. Whatever happened, I chuckled when I heard she finally had it removed. Maybe I'll wait until Sex and the City comes out on video so the mole doesn't scare me.

Why does a half-way intelligent blogger write about a mole? Please consider that I've written extensively on this blog about the removal of several face cancers (mine). But I don't really need to justify my possible pettiness. That mole bugged me; I wondered why someone with success and money would choose to keep it.

I wonder if SJP had the mole biopsied.

2008 Full of Promise

2008-02-24T21:29:00.000-08:00

I apologize to the throngs of loyal readers who can't get enough of my blog. I promised at the end of 2007 that I was making a big comeback. My comeback got delayed, but I'm back for the remaining one loyal throng.

I'm changing my habits...well, a couple of them. Not because it's a new year, but because this year is almost one-sixth over. Can you believe that?

I think that time zooms by quickly for us boomers. If I'm going to finish my second book this year, I'd better use some discipline. My commitment to myself is to have the basic text down by my June birthday. I will find an agent before the book is finished.

This blog affords me the chance to write about everything that interests me, instead of limiting my easily-bored self to one topic. Yet, I love the topic of my book. You might wonder what it's about.

I'm knowledgeable enough to write a self-help book. I am smart enough (that is, lucky to have stumbled upon some concepts) to tell other people how to live their lives, or at least, a big aspect of their lives. I'm going to share my philosophy on overcoming chronic illness. I have discovered some universal truths that will enable anyone with illness to live a life of depth and fulfillment, and I will offer all the hope needed to appreciate life.

To complement writing, I have found a balance in my life that had thus far eluded me. I am still ambitious, but I find comfort and peace in my common tasks and lifestyle. Watching my grand babies is cathartic for me. My mind is 100 percent involved. I live in the present with these children in a way that was impossible when my own son was little. I am not preoccupied with making ends meet or getting laundry done when the kids need my attention. Watching the kids is almost a meditative experience.

I may sound simple, but I still love my gadgets. I just got a new cell phone, a Motorola Razr. It took me awhile but I finally understand the full range of each menu, and I am downloading ring tones.

During 2007 I bought a Nikon D40x camera, and I'm taking photography classes. To compliment my hobby, I am scrapbooking some of my best pictures of the kids. For anyone--snobby artistic types, in particular--who thinks that scrapbooking is a craft that requires no taste or artistic talent, they are mistaken. I find that scrapbooking is the perfect past time to excite the same muse that needs to write.

Does my life sound balanced? In March, my Nia dance classes start again. This style of dance is so stimulating and satisfying that I find myself wanting a cigarette. (I haven't smoked in 20 years.)

This blog is a bit of a ramble. One more thing: I've been cleaning out cupboards and going through old paperwork. I'd like to think it'll be easier to write if my house is organized first. But any writer knows that we must work even with the house is falling down around us.

I put my whole life on hold to write my first book. This time I am determined to keep balance in my life and to produce this second book with ease. I'm older now and wiser. Right? We shall see.

Name a Perfume after Me

2007-12-21T15:02:00.000-08:00

I could almost buy into the idea that Elizabeth Taylor had a perfume created on her behalf, White Diamonds. Even though the ad probably shows Elizabeth some 20 years ago, she is a dame, and she was once a bigger than life movie star. Since I finally got over her breaking up somebody else's marriage, I can appreciate the work she did to raise money for AIDS--before this cause was generally accepted.

Elizabeth's ad is pure class. She says, "These have always brought me luck." She does not have to try too hard to be appealing.

Would I buy her perfume? No. Why would I want to smell like Elizabeth, when I'm my own person?

Why does anyone want to wear a perfume that is developed (or simply named after) a celebrity? Better yet, what kind of person thinks they are beautiful and sexy enough to put their name on a perfume? I can imagine someone thinking, "I'm so hot that I can influence how others want to smell, because everybody should want to be like me."

Most of these ads are pretty funny. Britney Spears--the first time I have mentioned her name on this blog--advertises several perfumes: Curious, Believe, and Fantasy. Britney has pretty much revealed most of herself in front of the camera. I am not "curious." She has destroyed all "fantasy" of her image. And it would seem that she "believes" in very little these days, especially herself.

Who gets to have a perfume? Is anyone buying Britney's perfume? Do young kids still want to be like her? Do they want to smell like her?

Mariah Carey likes to sing in her ad and float on the water. Her perfume is called simply "M," because we should all know who "M" is. I'm glad the original photo in the water got thrown out. It looked like Mariah's back was overly arched to make her butt look bigger. My daughter-in-law says that I was looking at the curve of Mariah's hip. Okay, she was contorted or twisted (in the photo below). Now we only see her upper body and head on TV.

Gwen Stefani, a truly original performer, also likes the water, only she rises out of it like a chiseled goddess or mermaid. There is something compelling about Gwen, who has demonstrated good taste and individuality since she gained fame in No Doubt. I think I liked her better when she was aspiring to be famous, but that's just me (or I). Her perfume is called "L" by L.A.M.B. I could tolerate Gwen's perfume ad if she didn't whisper, "I want you all over me."

I know that Diddy (Puffy, Sean Combs, P.) has his scent, and so does Usher. By the way, I love Usher. These men are both included in the Macy's ad with Martha Stewart telling Jessica Simpson to plug in the tree lights ("My bad"). Good grief. Kinda cute except for that last part.

The funniest ad to me is Antonio Banderas. I know that most women really do find him sexy. To me, he's a funny little man, who believes all the silly hype about himself. Okay, maybe he doesn't believe the hype, but he looks like he does in the ad for Spirit Eau de Toilette for men.

Honey, please get some of this toilette water so you can be as romantic as this little Latin hunkola.

Antonio has a whole list of perfumes, including Diavolo and Mediteraneo for women. Who makes up these phony names? I guess that Antonio oozes so much sex appeal that he knows how both sexes should smell. Has anyone noticed that when Antonio is giving his "sexy" look, he puts his head down and looks up, so you can see the whites of his eyes?

Who is buying these perfumes? The ads seem so silly. I challenge you to look at these ads and picture yourself in Mariah's or Antonio's place. Would you have the nerve to pretend to make love to everyone in television land? Could you claim to be an expert in sex and romance? They sure seem full of themselves.

I'm guessing that these perfume/cosmetic companies contact celebrities and invite them to lend their names. In Mariah's case, she probably came up with the idea herself. In Britney's case, her mother probably got 15 percent for selling her daughter's name.

I would guess that these celebs are somewhat involved in the creation of these scents. What does this mean? A chemist puts together some flowers and has the celebrity pick a favorite. And customers run out and buy these scents to mimic these celebs.

The two ads I enjoy with actresses are Tresor with Kate Winslett and J'adore with Charlize Theron. One is beautiful; the other is a temptress. They are not hawking their own products; they are not playing themselves. I saw the Dior (J'adore) ad a few times before I recognized Charlize.

My favorite (NOT) is Live Jennifer Lopez Perfume by J.Lo. Do you kind of see where I'm going with this?

Psychiatric Drugs and Mass Shootings

2007-12-06T19:21:00.000-08:00

How many more innocent people will be shot and killed by someone gone mad on psychiatric drugs? When hearing that a shooter--like the 19-year-old male who murdered eight people in a Nebraska Mall--has been under psychiatric care, please read between the lines.

Anyone on psych drugs--anti-depressants, tranquilizers, anti-psychotics, or anti-seizure drugs--must be consistently monitored. The effectiveness of these drugs is always hit and miss. And stopping any of these drugs abruptly can create the worst possible scenario.

When we read that someone is under psychiatric care, we often assume they are a nut job. But I have witnessed many people who had successful lives with challenging jobs, only to have a "nervous breakdown" after stopping a med abruptly.

If someone has changed meds or stopped them without proper psychiatric supervision, the psychiatrist, mental hospital and drug companies are responsible for these mass shootings.

Both shooters at Columbine were on anti-depressants. Most of the mass school murders are perpetrated by killers who were drugged, involuntarily. When are we going to make the right people accountable?

Dancing with the Stars: Who Should Win?

2007-11-27T16:45:00.000-08:00

Maks should win. Well, I mean....Mel B. (AKA Scary Spice) and her professional partner Maksim Chmerskovkiy should win. I had a crush on Maks until I realized he is younger than my own son. Still, he is fun to watch, whether he shaves his chest or not. And I'm happy to see that he got paired with a celebrity who can dance, and can dance very well.

I've had fun watching Mel B., who is spirited and confident. Yet, she is modest and grateful--or would seem so. And, wow, has she lost some weight or what? She had a baby not long ago.

I was a bit disappointed in Mel and Maks last night. I voted for them because they still dominate the competition. There is something about both of their routines that did not flow smoothly. Does anyone know who selects the music? One of the professional dancers implied that they do not get to choose, and sometimes I wonder how anybody would want to dance to some of these music selections. For instance, last week Mel and Maks did the Pasa Doble--a Latin dance--to the song "Satisfaction."

I rewatched their free-style dance this morning on YouTube, and it truly was amazing, but not their best of the season.

I think that Maks and professional Julianne Hough are the two best choreographers on the show. And Julianne, who includes much humor in her choices, brings out the best in her celebrity partner Helio Castroneves (a professional race car driver). I voted for Mel, but won't be too hurt if Helio wins. He is very smooth for someone without dance experience. Not a large man, he did amazing lifts during last night's free-style. The lift sequences that Julianne choreographed, and that both of them executed, were great fun.

Helio does his best when a dance calls for a suave man who lets his partner glide around him. I have to say that even though he keeps up with the jive, he does not let the music carry his steps. In other words, he would let the beat lift and drive his feet if he really felt it, and I just don't see this.

Even entertainer Marie Osmond seems to feel the music when she dances. I have to love her for losing 30 pounds since the competition began, and at age 48, she let her partner Jonathan Roberts, toss her in the air and all over the place. Like the other two finalist couples, they did a great job executing their lifts, and those were fun to watch.

I've always enjoyed Marie as a TV personality. I simply admire positive people who never give up. Marie stayed in the competition perhaps longer than she should have. Her skill improved tremendously but she got publicity for things that had nothing to do with dancing. Since viewer votes can ultimately determine who wins the competition, a contestant's popularity counts.

And popularity seemed to affect this season's contest more than during other seasons. In previous seasons, Master P stayed in way longer than he should have. He refused to wear the right shoes, and he barely bothered to practice. Jerry Springer was a popular participant, but once he realized it was time for him to go, it actually pained him to stay in place of someone who actually deserved to remain.

Last week I saw Marie and her family on Oprah. She also appeared on Larry King, and Entertainment Tonight featured a weekend special about her and her family. When people say that Marie is a seasoned performer, it would seem that she knows how to get free publicity. She can elicit more votes than other contestants who are more focused on their dancing than making the show into a popularity contest.

Marie's beautiful smile won the hearts of many, but her dancing is not in the same league with Mel and Helio. Showmanship is appreciated but, as Jerry Springer knows, it doesn't take the place of executing a complicated routine--that involves dancing.

Last night, Marie played a windup doll in her free-style dance. Her partner Jonathan should have perhaps known better? It isn't their choice that upsets me so much. The idea that one contestant can win with personality, WITHOUT ACTUALLY DANCING, is very troubling. Marie had said on Larry King Live that each contestant brought something different to the table. It would seem that she forgot to actually dance.

I still admire Marie, but if she and Jonathan win the trophy over Mel and Maksim or Helio and Julianne, I may boycott the show next season. Perhaps the producers can take a look at the way contestants are eliminated to make the show somewhat fair. No one who watches thought that Sabrina, a definite contender for first place, should have been eliminated weeks ago.

Maybe a show based on popularity attracts more viewers. If so, why bother to have judges? The judges provide guidance and positive suggestions for the contestants. Otherwise, their titles are bogus.

Tonight is the final results show, airing at at 9:00 p.m. PST will determine what I have to say tomorrow.

Here's why I love Mel and Maks:

Feeling Very Thankful

2007-11-21T21:31:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for the handful of readers who visit my blog. I took a short writing hiatus, and I'm ready to use this blog again as an opportunity to play with words and to express my thoughts.

I am thankful for my improving health; I once again see the world through clear eyes, and I can live in the NOW, appreciating many things, great and small.

I am thankful that my son used cancer as a gift, a wake up call to shed his boyhood and stand as a man. I recognize him as his mother's son (the son who learned the values I taught him), but SO MUCH MORE. He is strong, determined, and he has reached a place in his life where he admits his mistakes. He stands undefended. How many people can do this?

I am thankful for my brother who has become one of my best friends. In addition to common sense, he has a genius mind and a generous ear. He has listened to me whine ad nauseum. His loyalty does not waver.

I am thankful for the opportunity to do "sister" things with my older sister. During this sweet time of life we have found many common interests. We've taken cooking classes together at Sur La Table and Williams-Sonoma; we stroll through gardens, taking our time to photograph the beauty around us. I love to visit my sister's house to see what she has torn out and rebuilt.

I am thankful that my baby sister in Georgia is back online. She shares The Secret with my son and me. We speak the same language. All of our positive energy, especially together, knows no bounds. And we encourage each other to bask in the present and to follow our dreams.

I am thankful for my sister-in-law, who adapted to our crazy family long ago, without losing her own beautiful identity. She is a gentle and caring person whose honesty I can take for granted. I've never had to read between the lines with her.

I am thankful for the babies. Their innocence fills me up and makes my heart dance.

I am thankful for my friend Cathy who is loyal even when I'm difficult. We have stood trial together and those who truly love us have stepped forward. Cathy and I remind each other to breathe deeply. We will be dancing and doing yoga at retreats when our trial is only a vague memory.

I am thankful for my friend Dale. I watched in awe as she went through life-altering challenges while keeping her honor. I've known her forever, and she has grown and blossomed into a woman of beauty and character.

I am thankful for my French-Canadian friend Diane, who has made huge strides since we met. While adapting to her first bi-lingual position, she packed up her large house and found a new one that suits her. Diane's wisdom has inspired and comforted me during some difficult times.

I am thankful for my friend Shawn who is steadfast in supporting me, even when I've given her very little in return. Shawn is a wonderful example of why we should have friends of all ages. Her accomplishments and her maturity amaze me.

I am thankful for my dog Xena, who looks regal, yet soulful. She is a good, loyal girl, and a gentle pet. I love her so much.

I am thankful for my cat Karl, who is clever and scrappy. No one viewing that sweet face could ever imagine how many birds, mice, snakes, or lizards Karl has left as gifts on my door step.

I am grateful to Dr. Saputo, for treating my mind, as well as my body, and encouraging me to look toward good health, no matter how complicated my problems seemed.

I am grateful to Nirinjan, a gifted healer, for helping me become strong and flexible again.

I am thankful that I know what makes me happy at this stage of my life. I love cooking/baking and taking pictures. My friend Doug sent me a link to The Secret when the entire movie was free to view online. I embrace the law of attraction. Thank you, Doug. My friend Jo told me about the Nia Technique of dance. I am 100 percent alive when I dance. Thank you, Jo.

My biggest talent is probably the way that I write. Not necessarily the style of this blog. I'm an idea person who puts a unique spin on what I view as the truth. Stay tuned....

My other talent (gift, really) is to be able to see possibility and to know that miracles not only can happen, but miracles do happen.

I am thankful to God and to a universe that support me. I'm finally able to key into this reality and FEEL loved and supported, whether I'm alone or in a crowd. God, in his infinite wisdom, created our bodies with a propensity to heal. I feel this, and I know this. All we have to do is get out of the way and let our bodies do what they were meant to do. All we have to do is get out of the way and let our minds be happy, instead of clouding our truth with a bunch of muck.

I am feeling very thankful.

Sensuality of Food

2007-09-16T12:11:00.000-07:00

I've been cooking more and writing less. This blog is a show-and-tell about my life. I share opinions and stories with photos whenever I can. I'm working on my picture-taking as well.

I made these Lamb Kabobs last night. Lord have mercy. These are so delicious. I can hardly maintain myself. My Greek family is big on lamb. My brother and my son have mastered the art of barbecuing. Here is my contribution to the barbecue experience.

To accompany the lamb, I steamed brown rice with onions and put zucchini and tomatoes in the top tier of the steamer for the last 10 minutes. The meat is also great served in a flour tortilla.

I got my recipe from the Barefoot Contessa on the Food Network. I include the link to her recipe, but I changed it enough to include mine.

Lamb Kabobs

4 lbs. leg of lamb
2 T. minced garlic (4 to 5 cloves)
2 T. minces fresh rosemary leaves
4 tsp. minced fresh thyme leaves
1/2 c. olive oil
1/2 c. chicken broth
2 T. balsamic vinegar
salt
wooden skewers (soaked for an hour)

Cut the lamb in 1-1/2 inch cubes. Combine garlic, rosemary, thyme, olive oil, chicken broth, vinegar and 1 tsp. salt in medium bowl. Add the lamb cubes. Cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate overnight or for up to 2 days. Toss occasionally.

Heat grill with coals. I used the indirect method to cook by putting the meat to the side of the coals for about 10 minutes on each side. And then I put the lamb directly over the coals for about 2 minutes on each side.

Hint: Take some time to smell the fresh rosemary.

Yum-yum yummy. I'm ready for my leftovers right now.

My Favorite Reality Shows

2007-09-09T12:26:00.000-07:00

A reality show no longer needs to be a guilty pleasure. After all, there must be hundreds of them on the air by now. Each show is on a spectrum of "reality." The editing often determines the likability of each participant. And often, the situation is structured to create tension and even hostility between contestants. Some "reality" shows, like The Hills, for instance, are obviously scripted.

However, here are some shows that I highly recommend, beginning with my favorite: Dancing with the Stars (ABC) is beginning its fifth season on Monday, September 24, 2007. Past competitors have shown determination and great skill in learning difficult postures and moves. These moves require flexibility, especially on the part of the women, and the younger contestants have an obvious advantage here.

In this show, a professional ballroom dancer is paired with a famous person who may know how to dance, but is no expert in ballroom dancing. Past winners include actress Kelly Monaco from General Hospital, Drew Lachey from boy band 98 Degrees, football great Emmit Smith, and skater Apolo Anton Ono.

Contestants from various entertainment genres and generations compete to draw a variety of audience members. After four seasons under its belt, Dancing with the Stars has featured skilled and colorful professional dancers that become more prominent with each passing season. My favorites are Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Juliane Hough, Karina Smirnoff, and Edyta Sliwinska.

My favorite hunky ballroom dancer, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, last season with partner Laila Ali, is seen below:

Some of the contestants for the upcoming fifth season will be: actress Jane Seymour, actress Jenny Garth, soap star Cameron Mathison, entertainer Wayne Newton, entertainer Marie Osmond, Spice Girl Melanie Brown, and Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban. I'm so jazzed about this show; I can hardly wait.

Another favorite of mine has been The Next Food Network Star. The show is currently on hiatus as they search for contestants for season four. The winner of each season is awarded, among other things, their own Food Network show. For Food Network fans, celebrities like Paula Deen, Giada de Laurentis, and Rachel Ray, are frequently called upon to judge.

I guess I live vicariously through these shows, as I love to dance, and I love to cook. The contestants of The Next Food Network Star are put into situations to show their creative, practical and culinary skills. For instance, they may have limited time to shop and cater for a wedding. Or in a separate competition they may be required to use a special ingredient--like an unusual fish--and come up with a delectable meal within a short period of time.

Contestants must show charm and affability in front of the camera. Will this person inspire viewers to cook? Will this person invite viewers to watch the Food Network? I love the Food Network, and I'm amazed at what these contestants accomplish and endure to find their place on television. They each inspire me to work in my kitchen and to continue watching the Food Network.

The winner of The Next Food Network Star Season Three, Amy Finley, is seen below:

My third favorite is called I Want to Be a Soap Star (soapnet). This may sound like a lame show but it's terrific. The winner of the current show (season four) gets a contract part on Days of Our Lives.

Here is another competitive show, as the contestants are given a script early in the morning. They must perform their scene during the afternoon of the same day, and later that evening, one person is asked to leave the show. Not only must these contestants memorize dialogue, but they are asked to learn something unique and difficult during each competition.

In the first show, the contestants were asked to do an intimate scene with a brand new partner. The scene required choreography, if you will, of sex foreplay, and the disrobing of most clothing. The second installment asked each contestant to use a Russian accent, and the third show was staged on the beach in bikinis, and each participant had to engage in a fist fight or physical altercation.

What makes the show interesting is that each pair of actors does identical scenes, and as the judges review them, their scenes are interspersed, so that the viewer can compare each actor's interpretation of the same script. It's lots of fun.

Cameron Mathison hosts I Want to Be a Soap Star; he is also a contestant this season on Dancing with the Stars. Goody for me.

Some other good reality shows are Project Runway (A&E), Fashionista Diaires (soapnet), and America's Next Top Model (CW). Project Runway features aspiring designers, and they create extremely beautiful clothing. In Fashionista Diaries, six interns are exposed to a career path that requires availability and dedication around the clock. America's Next Top Model might sound hokey and shallow, but the show is an education for anyone who enjoys art design and photography.

Some reality shows set the contestants up to be mean-spirited and spiteful. Some of them portray women as manipulative and catty. I do not enjoy this type of show, but others do, as they get high ratings. Reality shows can give us a glimpse into the world of acting, fashion, design, food presentation, dance competition, and all kinds of fascinating worlds. There is a reality show for everyone who likes television.

Michael Vick Should Get the Max

2007-08-30T08:13:00.000-07:00

When I began writing Text Me Some Apple Pie, I made a conscious choice not to bash people. Individuals who dominate pop culture news and even mainstream news behave badly. But rather than contribute to keeping some people famous, I usually focus on those whom I admire.

There is a difference between being judgmental and taking a stand on one's beliefs. American Heritage defines judgmental as "inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones." I try not to make personal judgments. After all, I have a whole life to manage, without focusing on how others should live there lives.

But maybe I'd stink as a therapist because I'm outspoken about certain moral behaviors. And this is why I speak out and condemn Michael Vick. I hope the judge gives him the maximum sentence on December 10, 2007. Please see my blog of July 27, 2007, called Sad Life for Pit Bulls.

Other news media, including legal pundits, refer to Vick's pending sentence as a threat to his career. Most of them think, including Jeffrey Tubin, Jamie Floyd and Lee Steinberg (per AC 360 on CNN) that Vick can get his career back if he can still run and play good football after serving his sentence of twelve to eighteen months. They say that Americans love a "come-back story."

Coming back from what? A big tap on the wrist from the justice system and from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell? Why is our media invested in a man's career, after he tortured helpless creatures? God's creatures. People in the media apparently believe that this man's life and career are worth redeeming.

After all, Vick accepted responsibility for what he did. Big deal. Any sane PR person or attorney advises their client to apologize and accept responsibility so the American public will like them again. Did you know that Vick found Jesus since he was arrested?

How does someone regret doing something so heinous? Does Vick have a conscious about hurting dogs? Someone who tortures dogs is sadistic. Someone who tortures dogs has no feeling for these beautiful creatures. Someone who's engaged in fighting dogs is disconnected from their feelings. Someone who tortures dogs is more than disconnected. He has a cruel streak.

Did this cruel streak disappear at the time of Vick's arrest? No. Will incarceration rid Vick of this cruel streak? No. Vick did not need the money that fighting dogs may have provided. Why did he engage in this "sport"?

Dog fighting is on the rise in the U.S. When dog fighting rings are broken up, the dogs are confiscated and put down. Anyone involved in dog fighting has rendered these dogs as anti-social. Pit Bulls are listed as the number one perpetrator of serious dog bites to humans from 1982 to 2006, here in the U.S. and in Canada.

People like Michael Vick and others who engage in dog fighting, set off a domino affect in the lives of Pit Bulls. Dogs are a product of their breeding and training. They want to please their owners and handlers. I love dogs, especially big ones. And I am afraid of Pit Bulls.

The above-mentioned CNN program, AC 360, featured a video of two dogs fighting. One dog was yelping and whining. I had the overwhelming urge to vomit, and I had to change the channel. My dog is a best friend. I hurt when she hurts.

I set out to find a short clip of a horrific dog fight. Instead, I found the following slide show, put together by an animal lover. I have screened this disturbing video, and I deem it safe for animals lovers.

Michael Vick not only engaged in fighting dogs. He and his cohorts are accused of drowning, strangling, hanging, shooting and electrocuting as many as 100 of the losing pups. The maximum sentence he can receive is five years. According to the experts, he will not get the maximum. Why not?

Kathy Freston's Transformational Meditation: Healing

2007-08-21T16:17:00.001-07:00

After trying several relaxation and healing tapes/CD's, I have found one that I value so much, I want to shout it to the world. If you "are in pain, have been diagnosed with a disease, or have general malaise," this CD is for you.

I first saw Kathy Freston on Oprah, discussing her book on relationships called The One. After the show I purchased the book because I thought it would help me shed baggage that prevents me from attracting the right person. Unfortunately for me, the book is designed for someone who is already in a relationship. The premise of the book is that what you put into the universe, you will attract back. I have put this book aside and will do the exercises in it at some point in my future.

But Freston impressed me so much that I looked for other writings by her. Lo and behold, I found her transformational meditation CD's and I purchased two: One on relationships and the other one on healing.

Here is Freston below:

Transformational Meditation: Healing is a wonderful way to spend 20 minutes of the day. Sometimes I listen to it twice.

If you believe in the mind/body connection, give this CD a try. Freston will take you through a short relaxation exercise, isolating the body parts from the toes to the scalp. She uses a perfect tone that will make you go deeper and deeper to open the mind to positive suggestion.

I particularly like her concept of a higher power. She gives enough choices to hopefully suit everyone, and the one that appeals to me is "God's grace." She has you visualize a healing light made of love that soothes and energizes.

Freston has you picture what optimum health looks like, reminding you that healing comes in many forms. Then she asks you to look at what may be blocking your healing.

This concept may bother some people but Freston explains it in a way that does not offend. Perhaps fear, judgment, faithlessness, or self-loathing gets in your way. Yet, this is not about fault or blame, but what the soul is experiencing, manifested by the body. You may need to make a shift or change in order to get well.

For instance, I fear pain. And if I focus on the pain, it naturally consumes me and gets bigger and bigger. Yet, it is not my fault that I got to this place of fear. But recognizing where I am, I want to focus on hope and love, so that my higher self attracts positive experiences back to me. As Freston puts it, I want "all that serves me no good....to let it go."

The questions that Freston puts forth have triggered responses from a deep place inside of me. I keep a notebook and pen next to me, and after the CD has finished, I write down my discoveries. I have been determined to make a shift in my behavior, in order to support my own good health. With Freston's help, I have been able to figure out how to do this.

As Freston says, "When you change, the universe energetically responds." Amen to that. I see evidence of this true statement in a relatively short period of time.

Once in awhile I fall asleep while playing the CD. With other CD's I always fell asleep. In general, this CD keeps me more focused and interested. Sometimes I have trouble concentrating. It does not matter. The subconscious mind does its job. You will still benefit, if you're like me and only partly present.

In future blogs I will write details of my health challenges. Right now I'm focusing on healing, and Kathy Freston's CD is helping me immensely.

Ali MacGraw Yoga Mind & Body

2007-08-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

If you’re a baby boomer, you may remember Ali MacGraw in Love Story. She was also married to film producer Robert Evans and later to actor Steve McQueen (the man’s man). Ali also garnered attention for her minimalist sense of style, wearing little makeup and shiny pulled back hair.

Here's a photo of Ali the movie star.

For me, the best thing she did was take an interest in yoga. Another great thing she did was to team up with yoga master Erich Schiffman. In Ali MacGraw Yoga Mind & Body, Erich Schiffman leads some advanced students while they follow his soothing voice, doing yoga positions in stunning white sand.

You must be an advanced student to keep up with this DVD and to do all the positions. But I still think it’s the best yoga DVD or video ever made. You probably won’t be able to do all the poses (I cannot). However, I love the continuous flow of the exercises. The explanations are not redundant and a waste of time. Erich Schiffman’s beautiful and commanding voice helps me relax and focus on what I’m supposed to do.

I have to refrain from expecting a lot from myself. I can dream of being as flexible as the participants on the DVD. Ali MacGraw is so darn flexible that I’m guessing she has done yoga most of her adult life. There are cast members to represent various age groups and races. They are all graceful and flexible like dancers, moving from one pose to another. One of the members is Jennifer Grant, daughter of Dyan Cannon and Cary Grant, when Jennifer was a bit younger (1994). What a stunning and graceful girl.

Instead of feeling frustrated or competitive with the experts, I try to focus on the beauty of their movements so that my mind can memorize the poses, and hopefully this manner of viewing the DVD will help with my muscle memory eventually.

The video shots are stunning. The DVD is a visual delight for anyone to watch. I’ve seen nothing comparable.

The best way to do yoga is to repeat poses or to take the time to breathe into them. Other videos move along too fast to give you this opportunity. There is danger in hurting yourself unless you slowly warm up. You must breathe into the pose, giving yourself the chance to slowly push yourself into stretching a bit more each time.

Ali MacGraw Yoga Mind & Body has a nice variety of different poses, enough to create the right balance and to cover most parts of the body. The DVD—which was originally a VHS video—has been divided into chapters or tracts, making it easier to skip sections if necessary. But I recommend watching the sections you skip while continuing to do your breathing.

The longest sections are sun salutations that move right into a downward facing dog series. The series of poses repeats, giving you an opportunity to improve each time. Another long section is called the Standing Pose Flow that includes the triangle pose and similar positions done on each side. I will post a blog and throw a party the day I can do these positions without losing my balance.

This DVD is more advanced than many. But I still recommend it to everyone who is interested in yoga. Make no mistake that you can hurt yourself doing yoga, if you’re not careful. One of the purposes of yoga is to develop a relationship with your own body by feeling your way through the positions and waiting patiently for signals to push yourself further. It is always necessary to proceed with caution, only doing the poses you can do without stretching your body further than it wants to go. It is surprising how fast you can gain flexibility with persistence.

The New Age percussion and music add to the atmosphere and peacefulness of the DVD. Erich Schiffman’s narration—the specific words he uses in his instruction—help the listener go deeper into each pose, both mentally and physically. If you like yoga, you’ll enjoy this DVD. If you’re not a fan of yoga, buy the DVD anyway.

Why I Love Paula Deen

2007-08-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

There was a time when I thought cooking was a job for the unliberated woman. As I've said before, I once let my views on feminism stifle my freedom. At this great time in my life I love to cook, and I'm crazy about the Food Network.

I had thought that the Food Network only chose trained chefs to host their shows. I enjoy fancy cooking, but thanks to Paula Deen, I see that unpretentious foods that are a part of American culture, especially Southern culture, can be deeply satisfying to prepare and to eat. Paula calls dishes like fried chicken and potato salad "comfort foods."

I just finished reading Paula Deen: It Ain't All About the Cookin'. What an inspiring story. What an inspiring woman. Paula married before she was twenty. Shortly afterwards, each of her parents died of illness. What surprises me the most about Paula is that she suffered from agoraphobia and panic attacks. For many years, she was housebound.

During this time, her husband rarely maintained a long-term job. Her family--including her two sons--struggled to keep a roof over their heads. Eventually, with the help of her sons, Paula sold home-cooked lunches to nearby businesses.

Paula Deen comes across as down to earth, funny, bawdy, sensible, and very brave. After spending hours in the kitchen with her mother, aunt and grandmothers, Paula learned to cherish her family recipes and traditions. She eventually made a career for herself--and her sons--working long hours in her Savannah, Georgia restaurant.

I can't help but feel I know Paula after reading this page-turner. I read all 304 pages in a couple of days. Paula left me feeling that I can age gracefully without pretense. She found true love and got married the second time in her fifties. After years of living in near poverty, she now has a successful restaurant, two popular shows on the Food Network (Paula's Home Cooking and Paula's Party), and she has sold thousands of cookbooks.

Several great recipes are included in this memoir, such as pan-fried corn and split-pea soup. I am inspired to cook, to try, and to maybe even love again.

Here's why I love Paula Deen: She is a nurturing woman who considers food a sensual experience. As we baby boomers age, we need to redefine how we view ourselves as sexual/sensual beings. I have come to realize that cooking is not only an art, but it is a gift to give and receive. Cooking can be an intimate experience shared between two people.

Cooking is also an activity to do with the grandbabies. Beautiful aromas wafting from the kitchen create memories for the little ones.

Paula Deen is not your typical television host. To a Californian (me), she has a strong Southern accent. She says "you all" or "y'all" a lot. She is a robust, white haired woman who finds much to laugh about. She is a late bloomer who pulled herself up again and again, and she reaps the rewards of her efforts.

Taking Photos at Filoli

2007-07-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was fortunate to do two of my favorite activities: strolling through flower gardens and fruit orchards, and taking photos during this venture. My sister Nicky and I went to Filoli Estate in Woodside, California, and we probably spent a couple hours touring the 16-acre English Renaissance style garden. And then we walked through the Georgian Residence and browsed in the Filoli gift shop.

Filoli was designed and built between 1915 and 1917 for Mr. and Mrs. Bourn, prominent San Franciscans whose chief source of wealth was the Empire Mine in Grass Valley, California. The formal garden was originally planned and planted as construction of the house neared completion. The lawns and shrubs around the house were planted by the fall of 1917. The woodlands surrounding the estate provide a beautiful backdrop for the garden.

After both Mr. and Mrs. Bourn died in 1936, the estate was purchased by Mr. and Mrs. William Roth, who owned the Matson Navigation company. Under their supervision, the maintained gardens gained worldwide recognition. Mrs. Roth lived at Filoli until 1975. She then donated the house and formal garden to the National Trust for Historic Preservation.

Today the garden is maintained by fourteen full-time horticulturists, student interns, and over one hundred volunteers.

The house on the estate is worth seeing, but my interest lies in the garden. My sister doesn't enjoy taking "cheese" pics of people; she'd rather catch someone unaware, immersed in their surroundings. Here I am, trying to get a nice shot without visitors traipsing through my photo.

Here I am again in all my glory, surrounded by Mother Nature's perfume and color wheel. Nicky took both these photos with her Nikon D40X. I spent the afternoon coveting my sister's camera. Have I mentioned she's my older sister? Haha.

Filoli has a pleasant but pricey cafe. Since we paid $12 each to enter and $5 to cross the Hayward/San Mateo Bridge, we brought our lunch and ate in the car. (Filoli does not allow visitors to bring food onto the property.) Nicky prepared delicious sandwiches for us made of tri-tip roast and seasoned tomatoes. I brought potato salad and banana bread. We made sure to eat before we started our walk. As baby boomers, we've finally learned to take care of ourselves before our blood sugar takes a sudden dip and we become too cranky to enjoy ourselves. We had a great time.

I took this picture of the "Sunken Garden" with my Kodak EasyShare V803.

My Kodak is a handy gadget that fits in my pocket. I rarely leave the house without it. But, as I said, I love my sister's Nikon that has a rapid shutter speed that will take up to three pictures per second. My poor little Kodak lags so much that whenever I take pictures of my grandchildren, the kids are long gone by the time the shutter releases.

Okay. I confess. After the trip to Filoli, I came home and purchased the Nikon D40X from Amazon. When I get proficient at using it, I'll review it and post a link.

In the meantime, I highly recommend--for anyone living in the San Francisco Bay Area--spending the afternoon at Filoli: (650) 364-8300. And you can read all about Filoli here.

A Sad Life for Pit Bulls

2007-07-27T07:15:00.000-07:00

Michael Vick--quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons--and three other men are alleged to have run a dogfighting ring on a 15-acre estate in the rural area of southeastern Virginia. In addition to being charged for this brutal and bloody sport, Vick and his buddies are alleged to have executed losing and under-performing dogs by electrocution, hanging, drowning and shooting.

I find this story more than upsetting. Sickening, nauseating. How does someone take one of God's creatures and abuse it? This is a rhetorical question, I guess, as the only answer is that anyone involved in dogfighting does not cherish or respect dogs. Or as my mother used to say, "Marsha, never trust a man who would hurt an animal."

This was good advice from my mother, as we've seen that when serial killers--like Jeffrey Dahmer--were children, they engaged in torturing animals. I don't think I'd want to know how Vick and the other adult defendants treat women and children.

In American justice, one is considered innocent until proven guilty, so maybe Vick has been accused of something he didn't do. If he is guilty, I hope he loses his career and goes to prison, as any violence against Pit Bulls affects every dog of that breed and every owner of that breed.

Because dogfighting is more popular than I personally want to consider, many Pit Bulls must be destroyed. Once rescued by Animal Control, they are no longer viable pets.

If I'm walking my dog and someone is walking toward me with his Pit Bull, I will cross the street or step off the path. But I will also do this when I see someone with a German Shepherd, Rottweiler, Doberman, or any other potentially aggressive breed, until I see that the dog owner has control over his or her dog.

I own my third German Shepherd. Research and experience tells me that untrained and unsocialized dogs with aggressive tendencies can be vicious and dangerous. I'm a German Shepherd lover, but had trouble with my own dogs until I got myself educated. These dogs make great pets but their territorial tendencies must be channeled with lots of exercise and exposure to all kinds of situations so that few people and situations are deemed a threat.

Working with dogs and dog handlers, I've seen Pit Bulls that are wonderful pets. They are sweet, strong, smart, and very loyal dogs that want to please. Like the Shepherd, they need exercise to get rid of pent up energy. They need exercise to get rid of boredom. Some famous people who love their Pit Bulls are Rachel Ray, Jessica Biel, and John Stewart.

There's a legitimate question about the Pit Bull's inability to release it's jaw, once it has locked onto an arm, leg, or neck. Some history of the Pit Bull breed and more information on jaw locking can be found at Wikepedia. As for Michael Vick, we shall see how the charges against him play out.

I'll Miss Pete Wilson

2007-07-25T13:11:00.001-07:00

San Franciso Bay Area broadcaster Pete Wilson died on July 20, 2007, of a heart attack during hip replacement surgery at Stanford University Hospital. He was 62 years old.

A nightly television news anchor for ABC, Wilson was also a regular radio talk show host at KGO-AM (810). He had won five Emmy Awards, a Peabody award, and various other national and local awards. Politically, he was a self-proclaimed independent.

I will miss Pete Wilson and his smooth and pleasing voice. His presence modestly commanded a combination of comfort and respect, not unlike that of Peter Jennings. We rarely realize that a media person who disseminates information can become a big part of our routine and our lives.

I personally wonder what might have gone wrong during Pete Wilson’s surgery. Besides needing a new hip, he had seemed otherwise healthy. According to Chapin Day, a spokesperson for the Wilson family, Wilson's heart attack was caused by an unknownn coronary blockage. No one seems to know what triggered the heart attack so soon after surgery began. I will update this blog, should additional information be released.

Wilson lived with his family in Mill Valley. He has one college-age son. According to Wikepedia, he was a voracious reader and oil painter who loved golf. His career on the air spanned three decades. The Bay Area does not feel or seem the same without Pete Wilson.

Rest in Peace, Tammy Faye

2007-07-21T19:34:00.000-07:00

Tammy Faye Messner died Friday morning. I did not see her last appearance on Larry King Live, but I read summaries of her interview, and I read her last post of a couple days ago on her page TammyFaye.com.

I normally think it's in bad taste to pronounce someone's impending death, as I did in my last blog. I thought more than twice before saying what I said. After reading her last letter to her supporters and fans, I thought, If anyone can come back from near death, it would be Tammy Faye.

She kept her sense of humor until the end. She also knew that she was headed toward the arms of God. I commend Tammy for her strength and guts and faith. My good friend Janice died in 1986. Memory of her courage and faith has stayed with me all these years. And I think of her whenever I find myself hospitalized.

People die as they live, and those who go with courage, set examples for those of us they leave behind. My father also had unwavering faith, and he died how he lived, on his own terms. People who leave us on their own terms give us a gift. They somehow comfort us, instead of the other way around. And they give us an idea how we might go forward when it's our turn.

This is really about Tammy Faye, an imperfect person who got the most important things right. She didn't give up. She fought. She laughed. She believed. She did things her way (and her interpretation of God's way). She pulled herself up after several "failures."

Many people loved her. You can't do better. I will remember Tammy's courage always. She has joined that rare club with my father and my friend Janice, those who have shown me how to navigate illness and death.

Thank you, Tammy Faye. I know you're with Jesus, and I know you're at peace.

Tammy Faye: Too Ill for Television

2007-07-19T10:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I flipped the remote to check out Larry King Live. The guest was Hulk Hogan, but Larry had just taped an interview with Tammy Faye Messner, which I believe will air today. He showed an excerpt from the interview.

Let me say first that I'm no stranger to ill or injured people. I spent time with my mom when she was in ICU and when she was dying. I spent time as a patient in ICU after sustaining, what they called, serious disfiguring injuries. (I look fine now, but my family was unable to recognize me at that time.) I also volunteered at the trauma center at Eden Hospital in my town. I can hold the hand of sick or injured individuals, and if I feel squeamish, I can pull myself together for someone who is suffering. I'm no lightweight when it comes to health matters.

Back to Larry King Live and Tammy Faye. I was in utter shock to see Tammy Faye. At 65 pounds, she is literally skin and bone. She is dying of cancer, and she is too ill for television. I've always enjoyed Larry King, but I believe his show is exploiting someone who is too ill to realize that she no longer resembles herself.

What is the purpose of airing a show with someone so ill? I hate to say this, but Tammy Faye's image is frightening to me. Years ago when I'd been banged up in a bus accident, I did not allow reporters in my room. I did not wish to share my deepest suffering with the local media. I was afraid to let my 10-year-old son visit me, as my image might upset him. My son and I both survived, but in retrospect, my appearance wasn't as frightening as Tammy Faye's. My situation was full of hope as I improved each day. This is a hard pronouncement, but Tammy Faye is, in fact, withering away, and now she is withering before the cameras. And for what purpose?

I was once critical of Tammy Faye and the whole Jim Bakker and PTL scandal. And what woman in America wouldn't like to get hold of Tammy Faye's makeup and give her a makeover? She has always had a pretty face--with too much mascara and misplaced eyebrows.

Although Tammy Faye has battled cancer several times in recent years, she has remained steadfast in her faith in God. And during the worst of times she kept her sense of humor and her positive attitude. Surprisingly, she became someone I deeply admire. She is one strong woman.

Maybe Tammy Faye approached Larry and asked to make a public appearance. Maybe she wanted to thank the public for supporting her through trying times. Maybe after several appearances on the show, Larry and his staff's interests are honest but misguided. I hate to think this interview is for ratings.

STILL, SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE STOPPED THIS INTERVIEW FROM BEING VIDEOTAPED.

I wrote to the show, and asked them not to air the interview. That's all I can do. I debated about writing this blog, as I'm calling attention to the show. Curiosity sometimes draws us to look at misery. For instance, it is sometimes human nature to slow down to see traffic accidents. But if you read this blog today, I suggest bypassing the show. I will not be watching.

I'd be curious to hear from anyone on this subject, especially from someone who has lost a family member to cancer or from someone who has had cancer. Do I seem insensitive to Tammy Faye? I hope not. I would like to protect her and help her keep her death (dying) private.

Edit: July 19, 2007 @7:44 p.m.You can post prayers and good wishes to Tammy at: Tammy's Page.

More Comments on The Loved Dog

2007-07-14T12:53:00.000-07:00

Please see my previous review of The Loved Dog by Tamar Geller. Now that I finished reading the book, I will comment a bit further.

If you have experience raising and training dogs, the author’s point of view is fascinating. Her training methods may work on all dogs—if the owner can invest much time and consistency with training. She makes a good argument against inflicting physical discomfort on dogs.

The Loved Dog does not address problems with aggressive dogs, and I’m not sure if her methods would be effective, unless they were used when the aggressive (breed) dog was still a puppy. You can teach an old dog new tricks. But it takes dedication and commitment.

A dog takes physical cues from its owner. In my opinion, the owner must communicate superiority with some kind of physicality. For example, you can prevent a big dog from jumping on you by raising your knee to block him from making contact with your lap or chest. Or you can force a dog to sit by pushing on his rear with all your fingers tips—being careful not to injure the dog’s hips.

These physical cues are some of the ways to demonstrate that you can physically dominate your dog. You can get him to mind by using your superiority over him, instead of hitting him with a newspaper or jerking him harshly with a choke chain. Physical communication is a vital component of dog training but does not stand alone.

Playing games with the dog and having training sessions strengthens the bond between dog and owner that further instills a trust in the dog. And I think this is the author’s main point. The Loved Dog is mostly about establishing and maintaining a relationship with your dog.

If you have dogs and love dogs, Tamar Geller's point of view worth reading. But this book doesn’t give basic advice like potty training or crate training. There are also books available with more games and dog tricks.

In retrospect, the book is partly an autobiography of the author. In addition to surviving a difficult childhood, she has led a colorful life in Israeli Intelligence. Afterwards, she spent many hours observing wolves in their own habitat. Her love of dogs and her own methods of dog training demonstrate her own kind soul, and this is what she imparts to the reader.

Squamous Part Trois

2007-07-13T10:59:00.000-07:00

In previous blogs I described my challenge of having a squamous cell carcinoma, a type of skin cancer. I also described my experience, having Mohs Surgery, the most effective procedure (statistically) to remove all cancer cells. My procedure was on June 19, 2007. I will post photos of my healing scar at about three months post-surgery.

Yesterday I got my bill from Dr. Ting, my dermatologist and surgeon. Holy guacamole! Who would think it so costly to have a few cells removed from a cheek? I have a large deductible on my medical insurance. As cancers go, my experience hasn't been bad, but. . . .

Last night Dr. Ting phoned me. When I noticed his number on my caller I.D., as the phone rang. . . .well, I'm familiar with the drill by now. I have another squamous cell carcinoma on my opposite cheek this time, underneath my eye.

My original purpose for seeing Dr. Ting was to have unsightly--albeit small--precancerous bumps removed. My desire was to beautify myself.

So far, every time I leave Dr. Ting's office, I look beat up and patched up. I've been waiting for my last procedure to heal, along with the tiny wounds I have from removed skin tags, warts and moles, that Dr. Ting likes to call "barnacles of wisdom." And now I need another cut that requires a surgical flap to cover the small crater that is created by the excision of the cancer cells.

I feel a bit foolish. There's a good chance that the application of nitrogen--which is far less invasive and far less expensive--could freeze the cancer cells off my face completely. My face would look a whole lot better, and my finances wouldn't take such a hit.

What if doing nothing is all I need to do? Would these cancers really spread? I've opened Pandora's box and can't seem to close it.

Dr. Ting says that if it were his daughter or sister with skin cancer, he would recommend Mohs Surgery. I believe him but can't help notice that with nine Mohs Surgeries, he's making over $20K in one day, and I feel stuck without a choice.

To be fair to Dr. Ting, I'm leery of doctors in general. I wouldn't have him as my doctor if he hadn't demonstrated skill, patience and kindness for me as his patient. But what if we discover a third cancer? We haven't even begun to work on my neck and back. Dr. Ting tells me that Mohs Surgery would not be necessary on areas other than my face. He could simply make a cut.

He has suggested a chemical peel to me many times as a preventative measure. The cost: $500. Not a moneymaker for him. I am researching the side effects of the chemical peel, and when my face has healed, I will probably take that step. At that time I will describe the procedure and post before and after photos.

To be continued. . . .

The Loved Dog

2007-07-09T13:45:00.000-07:00

I’m reading a great book called The Loved Dog: The Playful, Nonaggressive Way to Teach Your Dog Good Behavior by Tamar Geller. I saw the author on Oprah, and admire her and her approach to training dogs. Geller witnessed the harsh training of dogs while she was in Israeli Military Intelligence. Later, her observation of wolves in the wild taught her about the inborn instincts of dogs. She eventually opened the first doggie daycare, where dogs spend their days kennel-free. I’m about halfway through the book but wanted to comment now.

I have a long history and background with dogs. My first two German Shepherds were more than I could handle because I made so many mistakes right from the beginning. I got them, four years apart, from short-term backyard breeders, and I took them home too soon (at five weeks). Also, the parents of my first dog would have killed me if they had been let loose, and I was too ill-informed to think that lineage mattered.

Having a big dog, especially one of the more aggressive breeds, is a job for experienced dog handlers only. Big dogs grow very fast, and if they’re not socialized from the beginning—before and during their adolescence—they will become overly territorial, and they will often become fear biters. A big dog needs lots of exercise.

Because I had difficult dogs, I eventually found a dog trainer to help me. After Travis died, Bruno was alone in the yard without his pal. I needed to be able to walk him down the street without getting dragged whenever he decided to engage with a passing dog. I was lucky to find Sallie, who’d been a K-9 officer with BART. She taught me much about the nature of dogs, which is pretty simple. Dealing with dogs is much like dealing with toddlers: consistency, love and positive reinforcement are the recipe for success.

I went on Sunday dog walks with Sallie and her dog trainer friends, and I took two of her classes—surrounded by other dogs—and my dog Bruno was able to pass his Canine Citizenship Test, which requires self-control and good behavior. He eventually could heal without a leash (sometimes) and complete a half-hour downstay without getting up, even when other dogs distracted him. You can teach old dogs new tricks.

Back to Tamar Geller, the author of The Loved Dog. Geller doesn’t believe in using prong collars or choke chains on dogs. I can’t imagine walking my huge GSD’s without a prong collar. But now I have Xena, my only German Shepherd, who is four. I got Xena from a top-ranking breeder. I visited the kennels in Chico, CA ahead of time and got Xena as a pup at eight-and-a-half weeks. She was bred to be a good pet, and she minds well most of the time. She is smaller than my boy dogs. Maybe I can attach the leash to her ID collar and forgo the choke chain. Hmmmm. Something to consider.

My first year with Xena was full of socialization and training, but everything came to a halt because I got ill. She has always gotten plenty of attention from me, but we are now just getting back out into the world together, and I realize how very easy she is to work with. Here's Xena below:

Xena is a partly-trained dog that needs much more socialization. I’m getting good ideas from Geller on how to strengthen the bond between her and me, now that I’m not so wrapped up in myself. I’ve been playing “find the toy” with Xena, and I’m surprised at how quickly she finds things that I hide. She seems to be tracking with her nose already. Our games with inspire more of Xena's trust in me, and she will be confident in more social situations.

When Sallie was training me to handle my dog Bruno, she taught me the Alpha Rollover. This is a method they use to train K-9 dogs. As I recall, they let the K-9's in training run out into the yard. They are not allowed to overly engage or attack each other. And if they do, the dog handler will pin the dog to the ground and stare the dog into submission.

Although, Sallie and I had used the Alpha Rollover on Bruno to get control over him—believe me, it’s a lot of work for a small person like me—Geller is abhorred by this method. She thinks trainers who use the Alpha Rollover are brutal. Yet, I know that Sallie loves dogs every bit as much as Geller. By the way, this method is usually used while a dog is muzzled. (Don't try this at home.) And I should say that Bruno had already bitten me once, and he’d lunged at two other people while he attempted to bite them. So I was saving his life by re-emerging as alpha and getting some kind of control over him. It was my job to protect him from making mistakes that couldn't be reversed.

Xena already knows that I’m alpha in the family. This is the most important principle in raising any dog, no matter what the size. Some dog owners don’t concern themselves about being alpha over their small dogs, and this is a big mistake. Since my grownup son moved out, my house is quiet. I do not raise my voice with Xena unless she’s in danger. She easily picks up on my quiet tones and body language. And since I’m a more experienced dog handler, I know how to throw my weight around—literally—when I’m with my dog. I walk and move like I have more prowess than the little person I really am.

I should add that little dogs can cause a lot of chaos in the home and in dog parks. Two little dogs in the park used to attack Xena, while the owners sat idly by. When Xena tried to defend herself, she’d look like a bully. When the owner of a small dog picks the dog up after it has misbehaved, this reinforces the small dogs’ bad behavior. All dogs need obedience training and socialization. All dogs need to know that their owner is alpha. This relationship is similar to toddlers feeling more secure when their parents set limits. These are simple concepts that take some work in following through.

Geller relies much on hand signals. My dog already knows “sit,” “down,” and “stay,” without my using words. Geller has the reader take stock of words the dog already knows. She says that dogs can easily learn fifty words.

Geller describes training methods that are new to me. She suggests teaching a dog to sit while (the human is) in a standing position, kneeling position, and lying down position. For dogs that jump on visitors, she suggests having the visitor turn their back on the dog. (My brother swears that there is no correcting this bad behavior with his dog Sam; we shall see.)

I’ve read many dog training books and watched videos as well. My favorite so far are by The Monks of New Skeet. The Monks used to breed German Shepherds for sale, and they too have a gentle philosophy.

Meanwhile, I’m working and playing with my dog, as I get more ideas from The Loved Dog by Tamar Geller, which is a great book. I will write a followup to this blog—or a bragfest on my successes.

The Word on Sunscreen

2007-07-04T10:24:00.000-07:00

My goal for this blog entry was to give basic advice on using sunscreen:

1. How does sunscreen work?
2. What ingredients do I look for?
3. What are some recommended brands of sunscreen?

There are some differences of opinion on this topic, so I’ll give very basic information.

Sunscreen protects the skin from ultraviolet light, which can cause sunburn. Ultraviolet (UV) light can produce long-term damage, such as premature skin aging and skin cancer.

The ingredients to look for in sunscreens are titanium oxide or zinc oxide, which reflect the UV light. Avobenzone and oxybenzone (sometimes called “helioplex”) absorb the UV light.

The American Academy of Dermatology recommends using a sunscreen with a minimum SPF (Sun Protection Factor) of 15. After finding cancer cells and precancerous cells on my face---see The Word is Squamous and Squamous Part Deux---my dermatologist wants me to wear SPF50. SPF indicates the time a person can be exposed to sunlight before getting sunburn with a sunscreen applied relative to the time they can be exposed without sunscreen. Say what?

For instance, someone who would burn after 12 minutes in the sun would expect to burn after 2 hours (120 minutes) if protected by a sunscreen with an SPF of 10. However, the effectiveness of sunscreen depends upon how often you apply it, what type of activity you’re engaged in, and what type of skin you have.

If that doesn’t confuse you, here’s another school of thought. Research has shown (one bit of research) that a population known to have worn sunscreen actually had more incidents of skin cancer than the average population. It is suggested that some of the ingredients in sunscreen can cause cancer.

Others believe that while sunscreen blocks UV rays, it also prevents the skin from absorbing vitamin D—which is vital in the body’s utilization of calcium.

The pro-sunscreen group, which includes dermatologists and the Skin Cancer Foundation, suggests that everyone wear sunscreen beginning at the age of six months. Use of sunscreen is recommended for all races, including African-Americans. Use of sunscreen is also recommended on overcast and cloudy days.

I wonder why so many people get skin cancer nowadays. Is it because we live longer? I also wonder if thousands of people have skin cancer and live their lives without knowing it. Maybe the cancer only spreads once it’s cut or aggravated in some way. Obviously, some skin cancers spread vigorously, dangerously and fatally. But I wonder about the tiny ones, like the squamous cell carcinoma that I had removed. What would have happened if I’d done nothing? It was teensy, but I had it removed anyway. I still wonder....

I played in the sun as a kid. I got a pretty good suntan maybe two or three summers of my young adult life, when I still had time to lie in the sun. One summer, while getting ready for my 20th high school reunion, I had at least 10 visits to a tanning bed. I think that using the tanning bed caused my skin cancer.

Http://www.skincancer.org says that all sunscreens should have the Skin Cancer Foundation Seal of Approval. Here’s a list of effective sunscreens, approved by the Skin Cancer Foundation.

I tend to be sensitive to cremes. I had to remove the first sunscreen that I tried (Coppertone Water Babies), because the scent bothered me. I now see that this brand contains none of the required ingredients that block UV rays. Yet, the front of the bottle says, "No. 1 Pediatrician Recommend Brand." I now use unscented Neutrogena Healthy Defense Daily Mosturizer SPF 45 with helioplex. My dermatologist says this is a good one. Yet, today I read the active ingredients and there is no titanium oxide or zinc oxide.

The Neutrogena brand has no seal from the Skin Cancer Foundation, but it has a seal from the American Cancer Society, and it says, "The American Cancer Society (ASC) and Neutrogena, working together to help prvent skin cancer, support the use of sunscreen. The ACS does not endorse any specific product. Neutrogena pays a royalty to the ACS for the use of its logo."

Maybe this is Neutrogena's explanation for not using titanian oxide or zinc oxide, as the Skin Cancer Foundation is a separate entity from The American Cancer Society. Hmmmm. Maybe I'd better find yet another sunscreen that is unscented, with all of the recommended ingredients.

This is what I choose to do with this information: I keep a hat and some sunscreen in my car at all times. I will avoid getting a sunburn at all costs. I’d rather protect my face with a hat, but I will use the sunscreen in moderation. If I go for a walk, I’ll probably just wear a hat. If I’m spending time at the beach or on the golf course, I’ll put sunscreen all over, and mine will be SPF45 or 50.

Your Drug May Be Your Problem

2007-07-02T10:24:00.000-07:00

It seems like everybody’s taking Prozac, Zoloft or some other antidepressant. Well, maybe not. But we all know somebody who is. At least one of the Columbine shooters was on antidepressants (Eric Harris was on Luvox). These drugs may help some people but they make other people crazy. Taking a mind altering drug is like playing Russian Roulette.* Here's an article that lists the many killings done by individuals on antidepressants.

Drugs and Mass Shootings

You may assume that these killers all had serious problems before they took these drugs. But all too often a patient who is given a drug to cope with mild depression has a bad reaction to the drug. This reaction may occur over time in a patient that is not monitored adequately by a doctor. And no one recognizes the problem until it's too late.

Drugs to alter our moods are common today. The drug companies are making a bundle of money while we are their guinea pigs. Many consumers have a naive sense of security, believing that we’re protected by the FDA. I urge anyone who takes a mood altering drug, or loves someone who takes a mood altering drug, to read Your Drug May Be Your Problem: How And Why To Stop Taking Psychiatric Medications by Peter Breggin, M.D. and David Cohen, Ph.D.

How does anyone know how drugs affect the brain? The idea that Prozac corrects a chemical imbalance is purely a guess. However, it is a proven fact that Prozac causes a disruption of the normal firing of brain cells. No one who knows the research can dispute this. Drugs like Prozac, Ritalin, or Xanax destroy the brain’s capacity to function properly on its own.

How long does this disruption last? No one has the answer to this question because there is no long-term research done. All research to approve a drug is conducted over short time periods.

Your Drug May Be Your Problem describes adverse effects of various psychiatric drugs, including antidepressants, stimulants, benzodiazepines (tranquilizers), mood stabilizers, neuroleptics, and others. If you are taking a mood altering medication, please read about the side effects of your particular drug. Often the patient believes (or is led to believe) that their “chemical balance” has gotten worse, when it is the drug that is causing the problem.

Aren’t we protected by the FDA? The FDA relies on data that the drug companies have assembled, organized, pruned and interpreted. Using only this data, the FDA makes its risk/benefit analysis. The FDA almost always ends up making compromises in order to accommodate industry. This process is called negotiating with the drug companies. It is kept entirely secret from doctors and consumers alike. The risk/benefit ratios are never determined by the patient.

Here is Peter Breggin, discussing antidepressants on The O'Reilly Factor:

Peter Breggin on You Tube

Breggin and Cohen have written a solution-oriented book. They describe some of the side effects of withdrawing from these drugs. They suggest guidelines to help therapists offer patients a more balanced view of using drugs, and, finally, they give sound psychological principles to help patients learn to feel better so that a drug may be used as a last resort.

*Sorry if this is P.I. The phrase illustrates a point.

Dyson Is a Feminist Issue

2007-06-29T18:01:00.000-07:00

As a young woman, I boycotted cooking and cleaning. Feminism was in full swing, and I wanted more out of life than menial jobs that were relegated to women. Someone had to cook and clean; when I had to do it, I refused to enjoy it.

Through the years I've shed the contraints I put on myself in the name of feminism and realized that I love to cook. Most of the men in my life are great cooks. I exchange recipes with my brother and with my son who's a professional cook.

Do I also love to clean? Not necessarily, but like most people, I feel more comfortable and emotionally uncluttered in a tidy and clean room.

Enter the Dyson brand vacuums. Awhile back, my cleaning lady brought her Dyson to my house, and she was kind enough to try vacuuming the back of my car, as nothing would remove the dog hair. It took her awhile because German Shepherd hair gets embedded in the fabric, but the car looked pretty dang good.

I don't have the luxury of a cleaning lady right now, and I decided to invest in a Dyson vacuum. I'll say right now that the Dyson brand is expensive. But Dyson is in a category of its own. There are vacuums and then there is the Dyson. There are several dog hair models. Mine is the D14.

The first time I used the D14, I had already vacuumed my family room, which is about 9 x 12 feet, with my other vacuum. With the first pass, I filled up the whole bagless chamber with dog hair. I have grandbabies and don't like them crawling or lying in dog hair. Working with the right tool makes a difference, and I can truthfully say that I love to vacuum, using the Dyson.

I've tried various methods to pick up dog hair. With previous vacuums, I had them repaired regularly because the dog hair clogged them and put too much stress on the motor. If the Dyson gets sluggish, I glance at the see-through chamber and see that it's full of dog hair. This basket is simple to change.

The Dyson is cleverly designed. When it is totally upright, the suction comes out of the top that hooks to the attachments. When the Dyson is tipped backwards in vacuuming position, the suction comes out of the base on the carpet or floor. The permanent hose miraculously stretches far enough to vacuum the stairs. The D14 is relatively easy to carry upstairs, especially with the basket removed.

One caveat: I noticed that the cleaning lady's Dyson was getting a little banged up. She may have been throwing it down the stairs or using it for a doorstop. It might not be built to shove in and out of a trunk. It has plastic parts. But I've had my D14 for probably a year, and nothing is broken, nicked or scratched.

I consider my Dyson an investment, so I shopped around. At that time, the price was the same everywhere: at the Dyson site itself, at Costco, and at Walmart.

On my blog I like to share things I like a lot (I'm the Oprah of blogland). My blog is not a store, but I do post links to items I write about. If I don't own it and love it, I don't write about it or post a link to it.

I'm posting a link below to Amazon. You can read about the hepa filter, the mini-turbine head, and the lifetime filter. I often find good deals at Amazon. At the time of this writing, the D14 costs less at Amazon than at Costco or Walmart.

All the Dyson models are similar. If you buy one for your family, everyone will want to use it. Warning: Don't try using the Dyson to vacuum bathroom rugs. The suction is too strong.

Death by HMO

2007-06-29T07:43:00.000-07:00

Today is the nationwide release of Michael Moore’s documentary Sicko. Maybe I’m a dreamer, but I hope this movie is the catalyst for the long-needed change in our medical system. No matter how much attention Sicko garners, it’s still up to all of us collectively to stand up and be counted, and refuse to tolerate conditions as they are. In a “civilized” country such as ours, the medical care is often far from civilized. In a country (the USA) that prides itself in technological advancement, our medical care really isn’t “care” at all.

If you’ve never been exposed to medical negligence or indifference, you are vulnerable to betrayal. Caring doctors and nurses are out there, but we can’t assume the professionals know best without us asking many questions and doing our own research. People often question their auto mechanic more than they question their doctors.

One family’s fight to reform the medical system is documented in an excellent, but gut-wrenching book, Death by HMO: The Jennifer Gigliello Story. This book is written by Dorothy Cancilla, a bright and feisty woman, who learned the hard way how callous and incompetent some medical providers can be. Cancilla’s book documents her daughter Jennifer’s eight years of painful illness that eventually led to a premature and avoidable death. Jennifer (below) died four days before her 30th birthday.

I’m amazed at how much information and detail is compiled into this 132-page book. The reader gets an education on the human body, and the tragic errors made by doctors at every turn become very clear.

I can’t imagine helplessly watching my daughter suffer, as Cancilla was forced to do. She and the rest of the family tried everything they could to support Jennifer and help her make the right decisions. Their biggest mistake was daring to think that doctors and Kaiser Hospital had Jennifer’s best interest at heart.

Jennifer’s problems began with frequent abdominal pain and vomiting. While doctors debated about the cause of her suffering, she trusted her doctor who literally butchered her (let’s tell it like it was) by removing her pancreas, instead of her gallbladder. Jennifer, who was somebody’s mother, wife, daughter and sister, tried to live a normal life around many hospital stays and surgeries. Cancilla portrays her youngest daughter as heroic. Anyone reading this book will fall in love with Jennifer, but what pulls at my heart is Cancilla’s loss—a mother’s loss—that never goes away. She honors her daughter and husband by writing this book.

Death by HMO documents medical negligence and indifference but also shows how truly callous some businesses can be for the almighty dollar. In Jennifer’s case the greed of the HMO set off a chain of events that affected her life––and her death—which in turn devastated her family. While viewing Jennifer in her casket, her father Lou Cancilla had a heart attack and died. Dorothy Cancilla and her family lived through a horror show, barely hanging on, in a daze, wondering which family member might be next as they survived two funerals.

To add more insult to much injury, Kaiser Hospital (and members of it) promised to release the facts of the cause of Jennifer’s death, only to hide the autopsy until the courts intervened.

I love Dorothy Cancilla. What a mom she is, and one tough cookie. She did not disappear in her grief, but joined the family in suing Kaiser; and then she later wrote this book. Although the family was triumphant in winning a lawsuit against Kaiser, I’m disappointed that the law limited their financial compensation—received by Jennifer’s husband and son—to a whopping $125,000. Of course, no money really compensates for suffering and loss of life. But at least the judgment in the case allows the author to legally and openly state that Kaiser was at fault.

People need to know what can happen to any of us once we put ourselves in someone else’s hands. We must advocate for ourselves and our loved ones. We cannot assume that the doctor is always right. We have to keep in mind that the only body we have has to last us a lifetime. We are the ones who are affected by wrong decisions. Ultimately we must consider the medical professionals as part of our team. They are expert consultants and sometimes gifted surgeons. But even the most dedicated doctors are imperfect, not God-like. Even decent medical people may be cajoled into betraying their patients by the HMO who pays their salary.

Death by HMO will surprise and dismay you. But you will be inspired by the courage of Dorothy Cancilla and her family. This story has all the elements for a great movie.

Squamous Part Deux

2007-06-25T15:27:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday June 18, Dr. Ting removed the tiny carcinoma from my left cheek. The procedure only required one pass--to remove cancerous tissue to be examined under the microscope. When Dr. Ting returned from the lab, he asked me if I wanted to see the incision ("excision" is more precise). I normally prefer to be involved in my own care as much as possible, but I didn't have the heart to see the results.

A soft paper cloth draped over my face caused me the most discomfort. The purpose of the cloth was to keep the wound sterile. Feeling smothered is a personal quirk of mine, but it was no big deal, and no pain whatsoever was involved otherwise.

Stitching the wound required more time than anything else, partly because the skin needed further cutting to compensate for the gap made by the vacant hole. Dr. Ting made some sketches of potential cuts he could make as part of Mohs procedure that I previously described.

Here are Dr. Ting's sketches:

Holy guacamole, Batman! Can't you just spackle the hole, instead of making it bigger?

I'm usually a control freak about my medical care. But since my dismay about getting my face cut made it difficult for me to picture minimal scarring, I asked Dr. Ting to do what he thought best. Mohs procedure is a bit bizarre. The idea of making a relatively big incision in order to keep scarring to a minimum is hard to grasp. You can judge for yourself whether you think it works or not by viewing the photos below.

The biggest problem in dealing with skin cancer has been the inconvenience of the surgery and the $2000-deductible I have on my medical insurance policy. Once I removed my bandage a few days later, I looked like Frankenstein's distant, distant cousin.

Day 6 before my office visit:

I suffered no discomfort, getting the stitches removed. I had opted not to take antibiotics for this procedure. And when I found out that the topical antibiotic ointment was $48 a tube, I did not buy the prescription. I kept the wound very clean and used the topical ointment that Dr. Ting gave me.

Day 6 after the removal of my stitches:

In two weeks I return to Dr. Ting to get more moles and precancerous bumps off my skin that are typical to baby boomers who worshipped the sun when we were young, especially here in California.

If anyone reading this gets skin cancer, I'd try not to worry. A melanoma is more likely to cause problems than a squamous cell carcinoma or a basal cell carcinoma. Early detection of all of these is the key. It is definitely time to wear a hat when I go for a hike, play a game of golf, or work in the yard.

Dr. Ting swears by sunscreen with an SPF rating of 50 or higher. He also recommends that I get a chemical peel to remove other recancerous marks on my face. I will research both these topics and post what I decide here on this blog.

Google Your Name

2007-06-17T10:31:00.000-07:00

In 1997 my first book was published. I recently wondered if the book would still show up if someone Googled me. So I Googled my name. The results surprised me.

The first entry was from a dental forum. I’d had surgery on my gums several years ago that I deemed personal. I was mortified to think that someone looking for my book would come across this piece of information. I had thought the dental forum was private.

The second entry was from a hepatitis C forum. In 1988 I received several units of transfused blood as a result of a serious accident (subject of the above-mentioned book). Luckily blood was screened for AIDS at that time, but screening for hepatitis C didn’t begin until 1992. So I received the gift that keeps on giving.

I choose to be open about most things to most people. But choosing is the key word. I can reveal personal facts about myself. Few people reading this blog actually know my last name or who I really am. For those who know my true identity, I’m open anyway.

Hepatitis, for the record, isn’t always as scary as the media portrays it. Thousands of people have quality of life without going through Interferon treatments. Hepatitis isn’t as contagious as most people think. It is blood to blood, and rarely passed to a sexual partner.

Many members of the two hepatitis forums I frequented had been married for years without passing the virus to their spouses. I also learned that support forums about illness are generally negative. Few people are proactive in managing their care. They rely on doctors or other forum members for information.

I was a member of two hepatitis forums and one dental forum for a nano-second, and Google remembered these tidbits of information, information that I thought was private.

Here is part of the problem: If you post a question or response at a forum, using a screen name or alias, your identity is protected. But if your real name is in your email address, the search engine will group the information together. For instance, at Yahoo forums, your email address is revealed to the forum when you respond to someone else’s post. You can choose to keep your email address private, but if you are gathering information of a personal nature, you may want other members to email you their personal answer.

I have used my whole name in my email address for years so that anyone wanting to write me could easily remember it. Now, I question the wisdom of this choice, especially when it's tied into a forum message. In addition, I cannot receive email without revealing my whole name. With crazy people stalking individuals or stealing their identities, we must develop a new awareness of the downside of technology.

I revisited the dental forum and stated my case. I saw that the forum was indeed public. The owner of the forum either didn’t understand the setup options, or he didn’t see the need for discretion. And, as a member, I had not paid attention. After I explained my dilemma, the forum owner gave me moderator status, so that I could delete my past messages. Unfortunately, my name–-in the form of my email address--appears in the messages of others who had responded to me.

The only information that Google revealed about me and the hepatitis forum was that I had frequented a hepatitis forum. There’s nothing I can really do except to find other ways to get noticed by Google, so that previous entries move down on the list.

The good news is that at least two other women share my full name. One of them writes westerns. If one of her old high school boyfriends Googles her name, he might wonder if she has hepatitis. And somebody else might think I write westerns.

I now choose to be careful about what I might reveal. Your neighbors, if they’re Internet savvy, can Google your name, instead of knocking on your door or calling you on the phone. Isn’t the twenty-first century great?

When I’m bored, instead of cleaning my house, I Google people I know. I haven’t discovered any tasty tidbits yet. I’ve merely learned how creative I can be when I don’t want to do housework.

Prospective employers will now Google job candidates. FYI, some also look on Myspace to see what they can find out. We need to arm ourselves with a new mindset to protect our privacy.

Have you Googled your name?

The Word Is "Squamous"

2007-06-10T22:23:00.000-07:00

Two days before my 59th birthday, my telephone rings at 8 a.m. When I see my dermatologist's caller I.D., I assume his staff is contacting me. I've recently had session two of moles and other weird thingies removed from my face, mostly for cosmetic reasons. I don't want my grandchildren to see an old witch when they look at my face.

After session one, everything was benign. I haven't thought twice about the lab work from session two until I hear my doctor's voice on the line. He says that one tiny bump on my face has come back positive. "Remember that one bump that I thought looked suspicious?" he asks. I remember. He says I need to come in and have it cut out. No big deal.

What could be difficult? Nothing really, except that he will excise some skin, freeze it, and send it to the lab. We will then wait for the lab results before sewing me up or before cutting deeper. If he cuts more, he will freeze more cells and send them to the lab, and the procedure will repeat until there is no sign of cancer.

He asks me to look up "Mohs surgery" on the Internet. Hmmmm. I've been looking forward to this year's birthday. I'm not sure how to feel now. Once I Google "Mohs," it becomes difficult to be optimistic. I read that the physician makes an oblong incision, plenty long to get all the cancer cells. Nothing significant on someone's forehead or arm, but my tiny lump is on my cheek, near the smile crease that goes from my nose to my mouth.

I call the doctor back and talk to his staff. "I need to know what kind of cancer this is," I say. "The doctor told me to look up "Mohs surgery. He did not say what kind of cancer it is." The nurse says: "Squamous cell carcinoma." "Isn't this worse than basal cell carcinoma?" I ask, trying my best to pump her for info that will give me some peace of mind. She seems noncommital.

I find out that both basal cell and squamous cell carcinomas are usually 100 percent curable if treated right away. Squamous cells may metasticize more quickly, but basal cells go deeper and may be more disfiguring. In my case I'm more concerned about potential disfigurement--I think. I request the name of a plastic surgeon.

When Dr. Ting calls me with some surgeons' names, I ask to schedule an extra appointment to discuss my options, face to face. Is surgery a must? I don't want to be disfigured. I love Dr. Ting. He fits me in two days from now. I've decided that once I do everything possible to insure success, I will put this topic out of my mind. I'm feeling more in control as I pursue more information.

Meanwhile, I find infinite sources on the Internet indicating that the Mohs procedure provides the highest assurance of complete cancer removal but preserves a maximal amount of normal tissue.

I go to my consultation two days later. Dr. Ting draws an incision on my face as plan A. He will do Mohs procedure on eight different people on my big day, and I'm second in line. I like the order. He can warm up on number one, but still be fresh during my turn.

Below is the squamous cell carcinoma on my left cheek. What you see started as a tiny thing before it was cut and sent to the lab a few weeks ago. Note: I cropped away my face like they do in the medical journals--to display these silly cancer cells.

Dr. Ting erases the ink and draws plan B, in case there are lots of cancer cells. He tells me that the plastic surgeons will charge $6,000 to stitch the hole closed. This fee is obscene. Why would one human overcharge another human to do an hour's work when this procesure is not optional?

Dr. Ting looks like an Asian Doogie Howser. He credits his consistent use of sun screen for his youthful appearance. (He reminds me to put on my SPF50 before I step outside.) He has performed Mohs technique many times; he is confident that the scar will not be a problem for me. I believe him. I decide to count on him. June 19th. I will say so long to "squamie" and update this topic.

No Extended Warranty for Me

2007-06-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

Can you see Google ads on this page? I cannot see them. I don’t know why. While using the Adsense Troubleshooting Wizard, I probably tore out half my hair. At this point I've cleared my browser cache and deleted my cookies. I decide to print some instructions that a Google rep has sent me.

Oh, good grief. Why is my printer only using red ink? I recently changed the cartridges. One of the problems with red ink, besides being hard on the eyes, is that the pages are blank wherever black ink or any other color of ink should appear. Oh, cripes. I’ve now had to detour from the Google issue, which was a detour from writing. Why did I think I could write a blog each day?

I change the black cartridge, even though I’m pretty sure the old one is full. I print. Still, red ink only. I look in my stack of unfiled computer stuff and find my Epson C86 manual. I check the troubleshooting section in the back of the book. My particular problem is not listed.

I go to the Epson site and install the most current driver. That doesn’t help.

I go through the Windows XP Troubleshooter. No paper jams. No connection issues.

By now I’m surrounded by messy mounds of partially printed computer paper, and I can feel physical signs of anxiety. I’m sweating. My heart is racing. I have a headache. I am buggin’.

I know that fixing this little printer--which is over two years old--will cost more than buying a new one. I check Costco online. None of their current deals speak to me. Off I go to Target, the place I normally go to unload money. But they have a poor selection of printers. Office Depot has a long row, with printers on both sides of the aisle. I see that laser printers have come down in price. Make no mistake. We are all getting gouged with the price of the cartridges. Did you know you can now print labels directly onto your CDs and DVDs? I want to print labels directly to my CDs and DVDs, but I don’t need the added expense.

I look for something small that I can move from room to room with my laptop. I see an Epson C88. It is almost the same as my C86. Yippee! The cartridges look the same. It looks like I can use my inventory of cartridges.

I decide on the Epson C86 for $80. I don’t need a shopping cart. I carry it to the checkout stand. By now I’m mentally fatigued from a day of troubleshooting. I fumble with my purse and wallet. I can’t seem to access my credit cards and money without letting valuables hang out of my purse. But this is a different subject begging for a future blog.

As I fumble around, the cashier asks me if I want an extended warranty for only $15. I say, “No thanks.”

She tells me that Office Depot will only honor returns for 14 days, and anything could go wrong with my printer after that. $15 is almost a fifth of the cost. Why would I spend this money? Doesn’t she know that if I’m going to unload money for no reason, I do it at Target?

She is in essence telling me that the product this fine store carries may be a piece of sh*t. Otherwise, why would I need an extended warranty? Don’t products speak for themselves anymore?

I’m more than annoyed. I’ve already said no. Yet, she is still talking. Here comes another blog topic. I do not feel good when I speak and my wishes are ignored. Is everyone my age treated this way? Do younger people all lack manners? Well, yes and yes.

I ignore this woman as she continues her spew. I say, “What’s the total?” as if she hasn’t been talking to me. She doesn’t realize how tempted I am to laugh in her face. I still have a Google problem to resolve when I get home. I’m not interested in what commission she earns. She says eighty something, and I slide my magic card–-magic until I get the bill. By now she’s chatting with a coworker as she hands me my receipt and I leave.

In case you haven’t figured it out, this blog is about extended warranties, mostly. I’ve had them with computers. I don’t like them.

My warranty with Gateway was a joke. Shortly after I bought my previous laptop and extended warranty, Gateway closed their stores. When my laptop malfunctioned, I told them what the problem was. Gateway ignored my written comments. I had to mail my laptop to them three times before they fixed it. I now have a Dell XPS.

I get home with my new printer. It is easy to set up. Just like my C86, except....

Would you believe that my old cartridges do not fit?

Why I Love Amy Sedaris

2007-05-31T21:53:00.000-07:00

Strangers with Candy began its run on Comedy Central in 1999. My recent viewing of the insane 2006 movie, based on the series, prompted me to buy the three-season DVD . The movie and series have a preposterous premise about Jerri Blank, an ex-con, ex-drug addict, ex-prostitute “runaway.” At age 46, she returns to high school as a freshman to turn her life around. The humor is tacky, wacky and politically incorrect.

Although “Jerri,” played by Amy Sedaris, stands out as a nerd and a loser, the kids and teachers don’t seem to notice her age. The writers
--Paul Dinello, Stephen Colbert, and Amy Sedaris--may have started with the show After School Special and thought, How can we take each episode and seriously scr*w with it? In a story with a lesson, each shallow character learns something. We're not sure what.

This movie trailer shows a taste of what I attempt to convey:

Trailer to 2006 Movie

Amy Sedaris’s transition to Jerri Blank requires her to freeze a pathetic expression on her face, like Billy Bob Thornton did when he played Karl Childers in Sling Blade.

The real Amy is adorable. She appears as the cat lady on My Name is Earl tonight (May 31). Below she attends the Bewitched premier (2005).

This is what fascinates me about Amy: She has figured out how to combine her talents in a unique way. Not only does she act, write, and perform demented comedy, but she has expertise and creativity as a homemaker. She has created a beautiful, but kooky book about entertaining. Someone (maybe Amy) coined her as “Martha Stewart on crack.” I Like You: Hospitality under the Influence features photos of prepared foods and completed crafts, shot in Amy’s funky apartment. The book has a campy look to it with Amy wearing vintage clothing. She also runs a business out of her kitchen called Dusty Food Cupcakes.

I Like You includes several Greek recipes, like Koulouraki and Kourambiethes (cookies) that are part of my family tradition (my family name is Tahtaras). Besides delicious food, the book gives advice about having guests. My favorite tip is: "Try filling your medicine cabinet with marbles. Nothing announces a nosy part-goer more successfully than an avalanche of marbles striking a porcelain sink." This sample page shows the flavor of the book:

Amy Sedaris should have her own show on HGTV, the Food Network, or Comedy Central. I Like You is something that has never been done. In plain words, it is awfully darn funny, and would make a great gift.

I only write reviews about things I buy. If you find SNL funny (Amy is from Second City), you will like Strangers with Candy, available as a TV series and movie. I Like You doubles as a useful cookbook and pretty coffee table book--it is large with 304 pages of color photos, drawings and recipes.

The Secret

2007-05-29T21:07:00.000-07:00

We usually think of a secret as information known by some but withheld from others. Previously known as positive thinking, the law of attraction (the secret) has been around for as long as I can remember. Well-known books with similar messages are Think and Grow Rich, The Power of Positive Thinking, and Creative Visualization. In a book called See You at the Top (1982), the author Zig Ziglar recommends consistently programming ourselves with positive thoughts to counteract the negativity that comes at us from all directions. With CNN we can see and hear bad news 24 hours a day. No wonder everyone is depressed.

Ziglar suggests reading motivational books and listening to audiotapes as a regular routine. I have taken his advice. I believe what he says. I am happier when I surround myself with happy people. I avoid naysayers. We all have difficulties in life. It is the inner workings of the mind--or what we think about each day--that determines whether or not we are happy.

As someone who has benefitted from positive messages, I will take all the good stuff I can get. The Secret presents positive thinking with a new spin that gives me a deeper understanding. I have the four-CD unabridged audio version of the book. I don’t have time to reread the book, but I have played the CDs several times in my car. I still have light-bulb moments.

The central theme of The Secret is that like attracts like. We reap what we think about. Thoughts are powerful. Positive thoughts have more power than negative ones. If we believe in something, we can make it happen.

Some people object to The Secret, but its principles follow the teachings of Jesus, minus the Christian element. Ask and you shall receive. Is this idea only for Christians? Does it only work if you pray through Jesus?

Having faith, belief, or hope always improves my own life. If I’m filled with hope, my life is already improved during that minute, during that hour, or during that day when I feel hopeful. When I feel hopeful, I notice goodness around me. How can thinking this way possibly hurt me?

Besides changing our thoughts and feelings, The Secret is about the vibration that we emit into the universe with each thought. And we attract this same vibration back to us.

Critics of The Secret are bothered by its focus on material possessions. Why? Is something wrong with money? Gratitude and giving are emphasized more. Money satisfies no one, unless they have gratitude. Others take issue with the book’s ideas about illness. Sometimes attitude makes a big difference in our health. I think everyone has made this observation. Should we blame ourselves if we are dying of a terminal disease? Of course not. My personal view is that the lessons that I’m here on earth to learn--including those in The Secret--expand my soul and help me cope with death more easily. I have had to face my mortality more than once. I have earned this opinion.

The Secret is a gift for anyone who wants to receive it. My advice is to take what you can learn from reading the book, listening to the CD or watching the DVD. Each time I play the CD, I hear something new. I grow a little. I feel happy. I feel hopeful.

I suggest that everyone take this message and use what you can. Here is something from The Secret to try: If your marriage is unhappy, make a list of all your spouse’s good qualities. This might take some thinking. Peel away your partner’s defensive facade and remember the reasons you fell in love. Review your list each night before bed. Do this for a week. Be focused and committed for one week. Something great will happen.

The way to understand the principles of Rhonda Byrne and the other contributors is to take their suggestions. Just try. Make that list. If you humor me, and focus your mind and energy on just this one exercise, you will find that the law of attraction is working. Take what you can use from this book, and leave the rest. Use prayer with these principles, if you wish, to honor God while you honor yourself. But be careful. You may have to adapt to getting what you want and wanting what you get.

Why I Love Elisabeth Hasselbeck

2007-05-28T19:00:00.000-07:00

Where did the feminist movement go? When I was a young woman, the movement emphasized who we were on the inside. Our intelligence and determination took precedence over beauty, at least in the workplace. Showing some cleavage to get promoted was nothing I’d ever consider.

Have women made progress since then? Yes and no.

The tacky adventures of blonde celebrities infiltrates not only entertainment news, but network news as well. Attending parties. Driving drunk. Checking into rehab. Leaving rehab early. Serving jail time. Spending money. Dating someone new. Spending more money. Making a sex video. What?

I want some better role models for our nation’s young girls.

Enter Elisabeth Hasselbeck who turned 30 today. Happy Birthday, Elisabeth. Thank you for being a strong woman.

Before co-hosting The View, Elisabeth made it to the final four on Survivor: The Australian Outback. She completed the Boston Marathon in 1999, the same year she graduated from Boston College. She has worked with the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, Habitat for Humanity, and several other charity foundations. You can read more about her accomplishments at Wikipedia and at The Views Bios.

On a more personal note, Elisabeth is a wife, mother, and she is expecting a baby. She has Celiac Disease and can eat no wheat or gluten. Have you tried omitting wheat from your diet?

Before writing about last week’s unraveling at The View, I wanted to approach the subject without putting emphasis where it doesn’t belong. I enjoy the show. A half hour of Hot Topics rescues me from writer’s block. Since Barbara hasn’t asked me to co-host yet, I will put my two cents here.

Elisabeth is one smart, tough cookie. Anyone who speaks otherwise is a fool. She has held her ground all season, stating her conservative views, while the other women talked over her. Note: Women often talk over each other; it’s a cultural thing, but it doesn’t make for good TV. Barbara says she cringes when she watches the program from home.

One day on The View, the ladies discussed Christy Brinkley’s pending divorce. The conversation evolved--or digressed--to the subject of cheating. To my chagrin, Barbara, Rosie, and Joy took a lax position on adultery. All three of them thought cheating husbands (or wives) could still be good parents, while I yelled at the TV, waiting for someone to expect more from their partner. If children learn from example, how can cheating be tolerated?

Would you like to see a young woman with COURAGE step forward, when everyone else is jumping down her throat?

You can see the clip here.

This is why I love Elisabeth.

I often disagree with her conservative politics, and I do not share her position on abortion or the war, for that matter. What I do share--I would hope--is respect for myself and determination to stick to my convictions.

I have admired Rosie for years, and the fight between her and Elisabeth saddens me. No, I’m not posting the clip here. I would like to see Rosie take a step back and ask herself why people are criticizing her. She has perhaps let her passion turn into anger. Whether she means to or not, she is putting negative energy out there, and negative energy is like a boomerang that always comes back.

I am on a campaign to honor women who honor themselves. We need better role models for our young girls (and boys). I nominate Elisabeth.

Text Me

2007-05-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Text Me Some Apple Pie, where baby boomers take on--or should I say, navigate, collide with, interact, or adapt to--the twenty-first century. I never thought of myself as someone who'd become an "old-timer" like grandpa. I vowed I'd always keep one foot planted in current trends and pop culture.

Naturally, I was raised with a black and white TV, without a remote, without a TV in my bedroom. A bedroom I shared with one of my sisters. We baby boomers were not raised with video games or flickering colored television screens. We had no CNN to watch war as it exploded before our eyes. We had three TV networks--ABC, CBS and NBC--that didn't notify us when children went missing.

We had one telephone mounted on the wall. For awhile we had a party line, an obsolete technology that disappeared with Tyrannosaurus Rex. Cordless or cell phones went beyond our imaginations. I had no cell phone or iPod to keep me company as I walked to school both ways uphill in the snow. Oh, wait. That was my parents' generation that did all that walking.

My generation has adapted gradually to the techie age. I read a book on how to blog that is five years old and already out of date. We've gone from music turntables that played 38s, 45s (singles) and finally LPs. Then came 8-track tapes, cassette tapes, CDs, iPods, and every time I update my music, a new technology outdates my collection.

In many ways I embrace change. I love getting text messages. I'm a techie nerd. I have a Myspace page, an iPod, a cell phone, and I'm in love with my digital camera, my fifth camera. In future blogs I will post photos I've taken, and I will describe the features on my camera.

I have read that narrowing my focus can make a good blog better. Well...no can do. I've decided to write what comes naturally to me. On some days I find myself in bitch mode. (I use the word "bitch" as a verb, not as a noun.)

I have special topics for my soapbox, like the greedy pharma companies. We once had a family doctor, instead of twelve different specialists, and our lives were not controlled by legal pill pushers and medical insurance providers. I will address dis-ease that allopathic medicine can only medicate but not fix. We need a paradigm shift in our view of medical practice in this "civilized" world.

Another topic that needs to shift is the lack of role models who influence our young girls. I'm tired of hearing about half-naked rich girls who get arrested or shave their heads or forget their wear their under panties. We should expect better. We are honoring bad behavior. We are enabling bad behavior.

I wish Oprah or maybe Tyra would create a substantial award--with money and clout--for deserving young women who demonstrate character and strength. Although I have no award money myself--at this time--I will feature women in this blog who deserve admiration.

As I alluded to in my opening sentence, I'm still looking for the ideal word to describe how I take on life in our current society. Do I conquer, acquiesce to, live harmoniously with, prevail over...life in the twenty-first century? My subtitle may be tweaked from time to time.

I look forward to receiving feedback. If you haven't figured out how to text me, please go ahead and send me some pie.